There's No Problem with Loving My Body

I had a great conversation with one of my co-workers today. We were talking about how in her culture it is acceptable, and actually PREFERRED, to be “FAT.” For them, it is a compliment. It shows they are healthy, that they are doing well. If you are thin in her culture, it means you are sick and something is wrong. I wish America lived in this way. I wish I grew up in a society and culture where it was ok to be who I am. America is killing itself, and I do not want to be a part of that death sentence anymore.

My beautiful wonderful sister wrote this the other day and I love that she expressed this concern.

Being thin is easy, society tells us, look at all those models. What they don't tell us is the average women is size 12, which is considered 'plus size' and that those models are usually aged 12 to 19. They are 5 feet 9 inches tall and 120 pounds. That's not average. And that is not right.

But we continue to feed the society and continue to feel the pressure. I've been lucky to avoid that pressure and I have no idea why. I have never tried to lose a lot of weight, just continued to stay healthy (work out and eat right). My weight is an unknown and it will stay that way, except for doctors visits.

I've been obsessed with Marilyn Monroe for a year now. Her image, her beauty and her figure. I'm a bra size away from having the same body type; our measurements match up close to inches of each other. (According to the website I looked at.) She's been admired as the 'fat' celebrity but what about her was fat?!?! Yes, she was bigger than most of the movie stars during her time, but that doesn't make her fat.

[photo source: here]

The funny fact about her is that she got most of her clothes custom made. Was this because she was rich and could afford it? Possibly. But I think the other reason is that most clothes didn't look good on her. I have the same problem. I put on jeans and all I can see is my hips; I have to wear certain bras with certain shirts or layers of shirts so I can cover up what I was blessed with in the chest region. It's a pain in the butt and would love to have custom clothes. But alas, I am a student and have to stay with in my budgets.

About two weeks ago I caught myself calling myself fat. I was completely disgusted at my body. But then I asked myself, why should I be disgusted? I work out almost everyday, I eat as healthy as I can. I treat my body right and it treats me right. So why so I tear myself down because I don't fit the 'thin' standard? I get that enough from the media. So I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom, naked and called myself all the positive words I could think of.

I no longer want to be part of the death sentence as well. So what if I am twenty pounds heavier than the heaviest reported weight of Marilyn Monroe? I'm not gonna continue the negative language about my body, in fact, about anyone's body. Everyone deserves to be happy who they are.

I see two ways we can make this right: one, we can stop making our own body image negative and two, we can stop with the constant belief that we need to look 'good' for whatever reason.

And that is harder than it looks.

The Best Thing College Has Given To Me

Wow. I seem to be in a blogging mood lately.

I definitely would recommend people to be as involved in college as you can, and speaking from experience, this is not hard to do.

Of course, it means many late nights and less time for studying but overall it is a great feeling when you finish a semester with a high GPA and many fond memories.

But that is not why I am blogging today.

I went through high school with a small amount of friends that I spoke to between and in classes, but after school was out, we rarely hung out. I was not given the social support I needed from my friendships and I turned to a romantic relationship I said. This relationship was unstable and unhealthy as I turned to this individual for all my support.

Please note that this is not a post designed to hurt the individual I dated for almost three years of my life though it may come off so. This is a post to reflect what *I* have learned from it. I burdened this individual emotionally and I have come to accept that I maybe placed too much responsiblity of my happiness in his hands for an average human being to deal with.

I have spent almost two years reflecting and growing over the subject of my romantic life. Joining these student organizations has helped me in so many ways, but one of the most, it has given me support beyond belief.

I am now able to recognize the signs of an unhealthy behavior and stop it before it becomes too harmful for myself. Although I have been single for the majority of these last two years, I have been more happier than I was in a relationship. I have had healthy relationships since then and although most of them ended, I did not feel like I needed another one to survive.

I depended on my ex to survive emotionally. This individual broke up with me for a short time in February of my senior year and I felt completely alone. More than alone. I thought this was a sign of true love, but now I realize it was a sign of dependency.

I recognize this dependency in other woman around me. We are social beings and we need social support. A romantic relationship is one way of getting that support. Notice I said one way.

When I started college, I wanted to have friends to hang out with. And I wanted to include my significant other on this journey. I realized quickly that this wasn't going to happen. I remember realizing this and instead of feeling devastated as I was at the last break up, I was relieved.

Even though my friendships were still developing at this point, I knew I had the support I needed to end the relationship. So I did.

I have never regretted this decision.

Some of those friendships I turned to for support at this time have ended. This is sad. I do not think I have thanked them for being there when I needed them. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For the ones that were there and continue to be there for me, thank you as well. These people mean so much to me, even though some of us are no longer friends.

But the biggest support I received was from the organizations I was involved with the past few years. Of course, this is where I maintained and formed many friendships, both temporary and longer lasting. And this is why I encourage all the students I come across to be as involved as you want to be.

As I approach my last year in my undergraduate education, I am realizing for the first time in my life I am making decisions for myself.

Two years ago when I made the decision to go to this insitution, it was not for me, it was for the relationship. When I was debating whether or not to join the Marines, I barely even considered it because of the views of my partner. But now, I decided against the Peace Corps option with out any input of anyone else.

I wouldn't be able to be independent with out the support of so many individuals around me. That seems like an oxymoron but trust me, it's not possible to be independent with out people around you.

What's the best thing College has given me? Support wins by a large landslide.

And I decided to change my major on an epiphany-like-rush, but something that being a Women's Studies major taught me early on is that in order to receive change in society you must support all others around you. Then as you are supporting others, they support you and change is quicker and a more positive thing.

Women's Studies Degree!??!?!

Question: "So what are you going to do with a women's studies degree?"

Answer #1: Well, I want to kill all the men, except for the ones with the good genes. We'll stock them up for reproductive purposes.

Answer #2: Get a job.

Answer #3: Sit unemployed like the rest of America.

Okay, so maybe those answers are a little sarcastic. But why don't you ask me for my career goals or something...instead of asking me why I'm wasting my money on a degree.

Since so many people are so interested in my plans after graduation I decided to list my options for the world to see:

1. I'll get a job and start paying off my 'wasted' money on student loans. For some job ideas that I could receive here and here.

2. I do have the option of staying in school for a master's or Ph.D program. If I go straight through, I will have my doctorate by 26.

3. Join the peace corps. Something I am thinking of doing because I would like to live internationally and love giving back to communities.

4. I could always go live off my parents. I'm sure we would really enjoy that.

5. Law School.

6. Work at some non-profit trying to give back...

...and so forth

I'm twenty years old. I change my mind between these (with the exception of number 4) about 15 times a day. I have 50 years of working ahead of me. It's terrifying. Can I just concentrate on school right now?

This. Is. Serious.

While blogging on my tumblr (which I have recently deleted), I saw a picture making a joke about suicide.

I was aghast with fear that someone would joke about something that serious. The caption was "everyone has bad days."

Yes, but when you kill yourself it's something deeper than a bad day.

Recently, I have been correcting people when they say: "I want to die" or "My life is horrible, I should just die." This is not the language we need to use to describe our feelings. I will admit, I have caught myself saying this. But I've always tried to say: "I didn't mean to say it like that. My problem is not that serious. Please forgive me for being dramatic."

You do not understand the feeling of being suicidal by just having a bad day, or things not going your way. Suicide is caused by having a disease. This disease takes over your life and sometimes ends it.

Depression is something that everyone deals with from time to time. Major depressive disorder is a severe paralyzing disease, and in some cases fatal. It's good to note that not all who are affected by this disease is suicidal.

By throwing around jokes about suicide and trying to get sympathy from people by saying 'you want to die' in the least serious way, you are taking the attention away from individuals who may be suffering from this condition. And if they were going to try and get help, you just minimized their feelings in to a joke.

Sometimes it's a phase and individuals are able to get over it and move on with their lives. Sometimes it is a lifetime thing and these individuals, no matter how much help they get and how hard they try, they can't get over these feelings.

It's important to be aware. Suicide is not a joke and I will never laugh at it. But I will no longer tolerate the easy-goingness about the topic any longer.

Uh Oh.

I posted a comment on a pro-life movement video on youtube months ago and this is the reply I got (months ago):

Truth is that there are no unwanted pregnacies or babies if people are responsible with sex. You may think me prude or unrealistic to support the idea of waiting until you find the person you want to spend your life with but let me ask you this...

Who do you want to be or be with? Someone who respects a woman enough to wait for sex or someone who uses a woman for sex and leaves her with a pregnancy that neither wants?

My Response:

Let's just say you use birth control everyday correctly. That's responsible right? I would describe that as responsible. But birth control fails, condoms break. You know, life happens. And just because one thing goes wrong, doesn't mean you should not have a choice to walk away from a pregnancy.

I don't think this girl is a prude. Not at all. Stand next to your beliefs, proudly, woman! But that is your choice to wait for 'the one'. It's not everyone's.

I want to be with someone who respects me. But there is something wrong with the logic here:

• One, you are assuming all people who get married are angels. Some aren't. It's sad. But divorce happens for a reason. Just because you are married to someone doesn't mean that individual is going to respect you. (Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston...I don't think they respected each other after awhile?!? Do you? What about O.J. Simpson, he was married and didn't respect his wife?)
• Two, not all men walk away. Yes, single non-married men have an easier chance to walk away from a pregnancy. It doesn't mean they do. (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie aren't married, and he hasn't walked away.)

I believe in healthy sex. I believe this can happen in any type of relationship. Friends with benefits, marriage, relationships, partnerships, whatever you want to be labelled as. It can happen. A person can respect you and not be married to you. A person can respect you and not spend forever with you.

I don't know. Maybe it is too late for me. Maybe I am forever doomed in to an afterlife with a firey pit of lava. I'll accept it. I've sinned. I've taken the Lords name in vain. And worst of all, I've judged people.

I've learned from my mistakes. And I move on. I don't believe my lifestyle is for everyone. I don't believe that I should force my viewpoint on other people. Everything should be your choice to make. What food you choose to eat, what clothing you choose to wear, what God(s) you believe in, if you believe in a god, whether or not you have sex with out marriage. I can't tell you that's right. I can't tell you that's wrong. Do what you believe is right, and stand up for it when challenged. Don't do what you believe is wrong. It's simple.

The last thing I want to do is get in the way of someone's happiness. Personal choices are that. Personal. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Yes or No or Maybe or Sometimes or When it is Convenient

I live in a country where people can choose what they want to believe in.

And although it is ultimate brainwashing organizations. I am proud that we have a choice of what to believe in.

I partially watched a documentary on Polygamy today. I was half watching, half trying to do my homework, half hanging out with a friend...three halves is a lot. A conversation came up. Doesn't it always?

"Is polygamy right?" was the topic of the discussion. And I said yes.

Yes, it must blow your mind that I said yes. But here is the deal. As long as the plural marriage involves all consensual individuals that are of age, I have no problem with it. And it would be great if incest or abuse didn't happen in these relationships too, then I would REALLY have no problem.

Because basically, we live in a country where people can be brainwashed beyond belief and think the god of the world is Marilyn Monroe...and as long as they are not harming people other than themselves I have no problem with that. (But that's my belief so I am biased...hah!)

And for me, what matters is if those people had a choice and if they have the same choice today.

Men On Mondays!!!: Even More New Perspectives

For missing my first class today, I feel as though my brain is exploding with knowledge right now. I can barely keep it in with out crying.

What has caused this brain input right now, let's see if I can get this down right now so I do not forgot this knowledge overload.

I went to my second class today burning with anger that I missed my first one. But what I learned in my second class was reason enough to be trembling.

My professor is one who could speak for hours in front of me and I would sit there in awe. Every class he gives me something to think about in terms of my life that really just makes my life---real.

What we looked at in class today was the amazing (and I mean, amazing) structures that our ancestors created. Creations like Macchu Picchu and Cahokia, just seriously google image the structures and I get sick to my stomach about not only the beauty of it but the brillance.

He refers to all historical people as 'our ancestors' and I love that he has done that. I decided that I will refer to all people as my ancestors and my family from now on. How can I hate someone that is a part of me? Answer: I can't. By referring to other people as your family, you are recognizing that they are an equal and that they are respected and most of all that they are loved.

This family belief: that all people are family reminds me of the first piece of advice that "101 ways to stop Prejudice" booklet tells you to do, which is "learn and share about your heritage."

So here I am just sitting in awe at the creation of this wonderful, magnificant structures and the brilliant professor. With the first piece of advice looming in my head about ways to end prejudice...(because of course I read that packet on our break from class...) And I can not wrap my head around this amazing, chilling beauty I just saw. There is no words to describe how I felt then and there, and even now. Besides to say that I had and have goosebumps thinking about it.

So I leave class and head to work, where I was determined to be productive. But of course, no such thing happens because upon reading my online class discussions, I am chilled at another thought...

For class, we had to read "How men have (a) sex" by John Stoltenberg. Which is a very good essay and I highly recommend it to anyone who is researching gender and sex issues or anyone who is interested. But what was more breaking was how Stoltenberg chooses to live his life as a radical feminist.

First of all, John Stoltenberg identifies as a feminist. I have mentioned before that I know about the controversy of the disagreement on whether men can be feminists or not. I believe in self-identification above the views of others. And if he claims he is a feminist and is doing good work in the name of feminist. I shall call him what he believes himself to be.

Second of all, Stoltenberg is an anti-porngraphy activist. Porn is something that I am still on the fence about, especially because modern porn is degrading and harmful for the women that are participating in it. (More on my stance, here.)

And third of all, Stoltenberg identifies as a gay individual. Yet he lived with a woman named Andrea Dworkin for 31 years as a life-partner. His ideas of sexuality and gender are ground breaking and he chooses to live his life despite society's norms and beliefs about it.

My sexuality and my gender identity is something that I have quietly struggled with for years.(You can read more about part of my struggle in a letter I wrote to the Star Tribune after my graduation, here.)Only a few friends and family members know about this struggle and some still do not know about the extent I have struggled with it.

...and I tell you, my readers, this, not for sympathy, but just to understand why exactly Stoltenbergs life and belief speak to me so closely.

But I am in awe that someone can live life free of gender constraints and the conformity of sex. It seems he did that quite successfully and in a loving relationship none the less.

I have been throwing around an issue lately, in my head, about my own life and my relationships. Can relationships, somewhatromantic, go with out a sexual relationship? Society tells us no. Not at all. But I believe otherwise. I believe that at certain point in your life, you need different kinds of love. Mostly everyone can say that they love their mother (or they did at one point in their life) and at one point in everyone's life, they needed her. And something that I have gone with out most of my life is a love of a true friend, which I believe that everyone needs a 'romantic' friendship through out their whole life. And finally, it's a societal myth that twopeople are going to fall in love and live happily ever after, with out any one's elses love or support. (Love and support are one in the same, another belief, you can not love someone with out supporting them and you can not support someone with out loving them.)

This is something, an idea of love, that I have been throwing around in my head for months now. I have not been able to fully articulate it. And I doubt that now, I have successfully done so. But it seems, at least surfacely that John Stoltenberg believes and lives this too.

So overview, I decided to honor two men that only recently entered my life but helped me articulate what I have been trying to define for months, maybe even years. One is a professor and another is John Stoltenberg. These two men are helpful to both the feminist movement and my own movement. And I am grateful for their work.

Ashamed of Living in this State

I grew up in the greatest state in the United States.

The greatest state until last night, of course.

We think everything is so black and white, democrat and republican, we ignore that their is a lot of grey areas in every issue.

What am I talking about? If you must ask, you should be reading the newspaper.

I'll tell you anyway. Minnesota (my beloved home state) passed an amendment to make marriage between a man and a woman. I can no longer call this my beloved state because I am ashamed of living here. Of being in a state that encourages such definition.

I'm not gonna pretend to know about what is gonna happen. My friends say I can vote no on it in the elections. I will vote no. I will. I will. I will. I don't know much about politics and I vote independent because I see the grey areas in all issues, not the black and white politics. Some say this is a waste of a vote. But I sleep better at not knowing that I didn't vote for the people who make the hateful laws.

I like all people I meet. Yes, I do. In some ways even the most negative encounter I have experienced has made me a better person and I am grateful for that person for helping me become the best person I can be.

And I love my gays. I love my straights. I love my closeted and uncloseted friends.

Here is my video reaction to the amendment. I thought it was suiting that I would have it on my first youtube video. =]

Even after this horrible amendment was passed to the next stage, I still believe that all people are good. Don't get me wrong.

New Perspective

You may call me a hippy or a environmentalist or just another mean name.
But remember I have at least one thing in common with you, I'm a human just like
you. We've both spent our lives feeling the same emotions: anger, fear, joy,
excited, tenderness and sadness. Never forget that despite the difference in our
experiences of life, the differences in our physical appearance, or just
differences in personality, we are of the same race. We will continue to live
together in the same world for generations more and we will learn from each
other. And I see two choices, either we can make peace or we can keep destroying
each other...

This has been rolling around in the back of my head since I started my new classes this week. Hating people is hard work and I'm exhausted.

I will not ask you to defend yourself for your personal choices. I do not care if you choose to eat meat or not. To go to church or not. To drink alcohol or not. To smile or not...

But I know what I choose to do, please do not try to force me to make different decisions on your basis of what you believe.

We can live happily together. I know it. And I know that we can live together despite differences in beliefs or anything else.

It is until people start forcing people to do things a different way from what they normally do when they reach conflict.

These conflicts have been deadly, scary, traumatic and most of all, avoidable.

My new perspective in life: Unless it is harming me or others besides the person doing the behavior, I'm stepping back and letting the choice be made by the person involved. This is not to mean that I do not want to change the injustices in the world anymore, but I am going to reevaluate how exactly I fight those injustices.

So call me a hippy, and environmentalist, a freak of nature.

Just remember that when you give me a label, you also give one to yourself.

Always Yours, Hannah

Summer!

Hey readers,

It's been awhile, but I had finals and closing, so I had no time for updating this thing. Let alone turning on my computer.

It is officially summer for me and you know what that means: more classes.

I am one of the few students that stay on-campus during the summer. I got a job with Reslife, so living here is free! I love school, so classes were a must. I'm taking a variety of classes, which I will be sure to blog about. (I have already finished 3 credits!!!)

I wanted to share about a personal realization I had in the past week. I was showering and I called myself, 'fat'. For the first time in my life, I did a double take.

I'm always saying how everyone is beautiful as themselves. That bodies are beautiful if they take care of it.

And here I am saying that I'm fat.

That's a hypocrite.

So that night, when I got out of the shower, I looked in the mirror and spoke to myself.

Yup, I talk to my reflection...

I told myself that I loved my unnormal toes because I have a second toe as long as my pinky finger. I told myself that my ankles were wonderful, especially because they help me run 9 minute miles. That my calves were smooth and toned. That my thighs were thin(ish). That my hips were big, but helped my butt look smaller. That my stomach was flat, my boobs were full, my chest was beautiful, my arms were thin. That my lips were kissable....you get the point.

And my point? It was all true.

I challenge you to stop talking about your body in negative ways. Instead of saying I need to lose 5 pounds to get rid of my thunder thighs, I would say, damn, I am so glad my thighs help me get to class on time.

No, really. I'm serious.

Because this is the thing for me. If someone kept telling me how horrible I looked, how bad I looked, I would not do anything. I wouldn't go outside, go to work. Nothing.

My body needs to be treated correctly. Otherwise it will stop working.

That's not completely true, but the logic works in my head.

Also, what I have been doing is just trying to remove the negative parts of what I see in people.

Instead of a heavy-set person, I see a woman with gorgeous eyes...or great boobs...or pretty lips...or...you know?

I figure that we already have the media and supermodel pressuring us. Why do we need ourselves being negative as well?

Take care.

New Doors!

There is a famous statement that says 'when one door closes, another one opens for you'. I truly believe that this school year has been full of slamming doors, but with that, I have jumped through many more doorways.

I entered the doorway of feminism and have loved the hallways of doors I can enter. I plan to continue writing this summer and through out my undergraduate experience on this blog about what I find interesting in my day to day life.

Next year, I will be taking a great step towards my future. A wonderful opportunity opened up for me in the hallway of my job and I jumped for it. I applied to become a Social Justice Advocate with my Residential Life employment. I received it.

I entered the world as a Community Advisor as a scared but eager-to-learn student but I can confidently walk in to the job this summer and next year. Now I am entering yet another position with the same feeling. I know that this position will challenge me and through conquering it, I will become a better person.

I can not wait to share with the community of bloggers that read my blog about what I will be able to do and what I do do in this position. This has been truly a blessing to receive this experience and I plan to run with it. I have big plans for this position and big goals for my last year.

A Sad Life...A better future

Lately, people have been talking a lot about someone's death.

They have been having conversations everywhere. It makes me frustrated.

I'll admit, I'm not politically aware of this issue. I do not know one thing about the conflicts in the middle east, I do not know all the issues that surround why the U.S. entered.

I feel sad that I do not know a lot about politics especially about a war we are currently in.

What is even more sad is that I already thought this man was dead. Yup, I'll admit it. I am more concentrated on the injustices in my own world to check to see if evil man is dead.

I do not believe in predetermination. I do not believe this evil man would have been evil if he would have grown up in a loving, caring environment. I'm not taking a side of nature versus nurture. I'm just saying that he could of turned out to be a different person if he was given guidance. There is not a predetermined future for you, with help, we can reach our goals and we can become well-rounded human beings.

So why am I frustrated? Because we are celebrating a man's death when we could be putting our effort in to stopping this from happening again. Babies are not born evil, children are not evil, even preteens and teenagers can change those evil ways to become well-rounded adults. (Fun fact: I probably was considered the teenage devil. I'm sorry Mom and Dad. )

How to create an non-evil person:

Step 1: Have a wanted child! Make sure that this infant is going to be raised in a loving home that is going to provide at least food, a roof and positive child care!

Step 2: Support your state-funded public schools. These are our children, let's give teachers a livable salary so they can give our children a quality education.
Step 2b: Quality education means admitting our past so that we, and our descendants, are prepared to not repeat it. (I want to write a herstory textbook including a few important events that I didn't learn until college.)

Step 3: Support the child. Did you know Hitler wanted to be a painter? I always wonder what would have happened if someone paid attention to his artwork...just think about it. I don't mean support the child financially. If you think he is a bad artist, be nice about it. Explain it. Give him another outlet to be creative, show the other options that he can be successful at that does not involve killing mass groups of people.

So three steps, I do not think that was too hard...

Let's change the world and stop these people from becoming evil!!!!

WS 445 Final Reflection

As some of you may or may not know, I started this blog because I was taking a women's studies course called women and computers.

My first 3 posts were actually reflections of assignments for the class. We watched a video with a woman named Nadine who talked about internet accessibility in the middle east, read an article about how youth uses the internet, and a study done about Facebook. You can find my reflections here, here and here.

In between writing about the digital divide (here and here) and researching for my other classes, I realized I enjoyed writing about the women's issues. So I kept writing.

When our professor told us that we should find online resources to help our life after college, I enjoyed searching the web for photography related sources. Read more here.

I loved finding out more about the women who have shaped the web and I was frustrated at the lack of publicity on those women. Because they seemed to be doing so much more good for society then men who shaped the internet. At this time in my blog posts I was updating about every other day. It seemed fitting that I would post a few findings on my blog, here.

I used my blog to help research for my final project. You will see many of my blog posts documented in my final project presentation. It helped me organize my thoughts and see what I could do with the sources I found. See more here.

I enjoyed the class. It helped me learn that the issues of women are not strictly in the real world but also on the world wide web as well. The course was set up like a workshop and the student feedback of our projects was really helpful to me. I got stronger as a writer and as a student because of what the class taught me. It also taught me a few new resources I could use like delicious.com which is a bookmarking site.

Why I am a Women's Studies Major

I'm going start this discussion right now. As I explained at the beginning of this post, people often do not know how to react to the answer "women's studies" when they ask me what my major is. Along with sexist sandwich or wife jokes and pretending to act normal, these are some of the normal responses:

1. What in the world are you going to do after you get out of college?

2. So like what kind of classes do you take?

my favorite, 3. So do you like hate all men?

4. What made you want to do that?

I wish I could record some of these people's tones because you can really tell that they think I am wasting my time in college. My responses vary, depending on the relationship I have with the person from sarcastic to actual attempt to explain what it is.

So I'm starting a new ongoing post theme, kind of like my Men On Mondays-which is hard to do because lately the kind of men I have been dealing with are more animal than human. It's gonna be called......well, I don't really have a good title yet, but it's coming! I'm pretty much going to list the benefits of being a women's studies major (besides meeting some fabulous women!) and answer those questions that you've all been asking me, repeatedly.

I'm gonna start with the easiest question: Why did I choose Women's Studies as my major?

As I have briefly explained before in parts of this post and this post, I did not come to college in Fall of 2009 to become a Women's Studies Major. In fact, I came to college as a business management major. I went through a lot that first year, but even after all that happened, I came back to school as a business management major yet again in 2010.

But as I entered the business core, I realized I just wasn't interested in Accounting, Business Law, Statistics, I dreaded the classes I was going to take. I knew I could do them, it wasn't that the classes were difficult, it was just so boring.

Even the students were kind of boring, they went to class and got up and left at the :50 mark. The professors lectures were dry and well, if I hadn't had a good nights sleep, I would sleep through them there, too.

When a fellow Community Advisor and Honors student asked me what my major is and I replied with a unexcited face, "business management". He told me that I didn't seem that enthusiastic about my major.

I was stunned. You could be enthusiastic about your major? Why didn't anyone tell me this before? You think that would be the time that I would march in to the Advising Office and tell them to change my major.

But it wasn't. I am slow about everything in my life and this definitely was not an exception. That was fall training before school started, I didn't have my epiphany to become a women's studies major until November. Of course that was after I had made sure it wasn't going to slow me down for graduation and made sure that there were many summer course offerings. I even planned out my class schedule for the next two years.

So what you should take from this is that a women's studies major challenges your mind, it sparkles your creativity and it is a lot less boring then a business major. And that is exactly why I am one.

Racism Attack!

Take a good look at the second comment.

..."since they all look so similar"...

Let's not support these views. Not everyone of the same race/ethnicity looks the same. In fact, I would say they all look different!

And as for not knowing it's him, a picture can be manipulated so that won't help us very much anyway.

I really do hate ignorant remarks like that. Especially when it comes from another member of an oppressed group, it was a woman!

We're not gonna end oppression until we stop oppressing ourselves and each other!