The Love of Others

I have to admit. I was down the past week.

It wasn't anything major I just realized a lot of things about my current life that I was not looking at in the right perspective.

I'm a strong person. Or I try to be. I give off the sign of being confident and well put together. I don't have the lowest confidence in the world, but I definitely don't believe that I am CONFIDENT.

This past two years at college has changed me for the better. I still have flaws to fix, but I'm a constantly striving to being a 100% person. Finding Feminism and trying to live a feminist lifestyle this past semester has been a struggle.

I realized that these past two years have also been filled with heartbreak and broken promises. It's been filled with a lot of tears over relationships, friendships, and disappointments.

Then I realized that come September no one has said I love you to me. in two years. two. years.

I thought that had to be wrong. I mean, I had boyfriends these past two years. I had to have someone say 'I love you' and mean it. No. I was right. Come September not one guy has said 'I love you.'

That severely worried me. Was I unlovable? Did I not deserve love? What am I doing wrong that someone has not shared that feeling for me?

Then I remembered. So many people say 'I love you' to me everyday. My friends and my sisters. At least twice a day, some one reminds me that they love me. I've never noticed before because I've been looking at the wrong kind of love.

Romantic is not the only kind of love. That's not the only kind of love you need. Some may argue that you do not need the romantic kind of love.

And those people that tell me "I love you", I actually mean it when I say "I love you, too".

I was so busy being upset over not having romantic love, I forgot all about the love I have already. The love from my friendships, the love from my sisters, the love from even my classmates.

I used to think that I will never feel unconditional love until I have children. But now I am realizing that I do have unconditional love. Just check my Facebook wall, look at my life, look at the people who surround me everyday.

So many individuals are looking for love. They are looking for 'the person' to spend the rest of their life with.

Well I'm not. I'm not looking for love. I have love. I have the people I want to spend the rest of my life with.

And I think that is truly what feminism is to me. It's about realizing what you do have is precious and worthwhile. It's about finding what is important to you and not letting anyone steal that away. It's about how everyone needs the love of others, not just the love of one.

Uh Oh.

I posted a comment on a pro-life movement video on youtube months ago and this is the reply I got (months ago):

Truth is that there are no unwanted pregnacies or babies if people are responsible with sex. You may think me prude or unrealistic to support the idea of waiting until you find the person you want to spend your life with but let me ask you this...

Who do you want to be or be with? Someone who respects a woman enough to wait for sex or someone who uses a woman for sex and leaves her with a pregnancy that neither wants?

My Response:

Let's just say you use birth control everyday correctly. That's responsible right? I would describe that as responsible. But birth control fails, condoms break. You know, life happens. And just because one thing goes wrong, doesn't mean you should not have a choice to walk away from a pregnancy.

I don't think this girl is a prude. Not at all. Stand next to your beliefs, proudly, woman! But that is your choice to wait for 'the one'. It's not everyone's.

I want to be with someone who respects me. But there is something wrong with the logic here:

• One, you are assuming all people who get married are angels. Some aren't. It's sad. But divorce happens for a reason. Just because you are married to someone doesn't mean that individual is going to respect you. (Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston...I don't think they respected each other after awhile?!? Do you? What about O.J. Simpson, he was married and didn't respect his wife?)
• Two, not all men walk away. Yes, single non-married men have an easier chance to walk away from a pregnancy. It doesn't mean they do. (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie aren't married, and he hasn't walked away.)

I believe in healthy sex. I believe this can happen in any type of relationship. Friends with benefits, marriage, relationships, partnerships, whatever you want to be labelled as. It can happen. A person can respect you and not be married to you. A person can respect you and not spend forever with you.

I don't know. Maybe it is too late for me. Maybe I am forever doomed in to an afterlife with a firey pit of lava. I'll accept it. I've sinned. I've taken the Lords name in vain. And worst of all, I've judged people.

I've learned from my mistakes. And I move on. I don't believe my lifestyle is for everyone. I don't believe that I should force my viewpoint on other people. Everything should be your choice to make. What food you choose to eat, what clothing you choose to wear, what God(s) you believe in, if you believe in a god, whether or not you have sex with out marriage. I can't tell you that's right. I can't tell you that's wrong. Do what you believe is right, and stand up for it when challenged. Don't do what you believe is wrong. It's simple.

The last thing I want to do is get in the way of someone's happiness. Personal choices are that. Personal. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Newborn baby clings to life...

I'm watching Nancy Grace, they are covering a story about a baby being born in a bathroom.

I feel for the mother. It must be terrifying to deliver in a public bathroom, maybe she didn't even know she was pregnant.

I'm not saying she did the right thing,(she absolutely did not) I'm just saying we should not judge her until we know all the details.

There are three women judging this poor women, saying that she was horrible to do this and that it is outrageous that this could happen.

Have these women ever given birth in a public bathroom? Have these women been in this particular woman's situation? I highly doubt it.

I'm gonna turn this political right now: THIS IS WHY WE NEED MORE STATE AND FEDERAL FUNDING FOR REPRODUCTIVE CHOICE. We need to educate these women and the men, but we also need to make those options accessible and affordable for all. This woman is obviously not educated on what her choices are and was, if she did, she may have had avoided this dreadful situation. If she had access to the choices, she may have gotten medical help at the first sign of pregnancy. If she could afford it, she would make the right decision for all of us. I am NOT promoting abortion here, I AM promoting EDUCATION, ACCESS AND AFFORDABILITY IN REPRODUCTIVE CHOICE!