So how do you REALLY know?

I watched "The Big Gay Musical"(2009) with one of my close friends recently. Good movie, though it mainly focused on gay men instead of the queer community.

It seems that gay men are representated fairly accurately in popular culture. With a few exceptions of course. The film really spoke to a lot of people trying to date in this time period. A lot of people want hookups as opposed to relationships at my age and I know that is hard for a lot of my friends.



It's on Netflix instant play, and it is definitely something you might want to check out. Especially if you are tired of dating/hooking-up/whatever.

But I wanted to raise a good question about movies that show lesbians. I call the media representation of lesbians as 'part-time'. Most of the lesbians that have been shown on movies are extrememly lipstick (feminine), going through a midlife crisis, or psycho. And although it makes a great movie and plot, it also harms the lesbian population. It makes it seem that lesbianism is a phase for women or a part-time sexuality that can be changed if they met a nice man. There is certainly a representation like this in movies for gay men, however, it is not as prominent as men are usually trusted to make their own decisions!

Women, however, are not. "You just haven't met the right guy" the movie goes, and focuses on the women exploring her sexuality but at the end settling for the perfect man. It's like the media finds women inadequate to make their own decisions!


Take a look at a popular movie and play "Rent"(2005). Now the representation for the gay couple is fairly accurate, but the lesbian couple is insecure of their feelings for each other. Maureen, played by Idina Menzel, who is a 'new' lesbian but also a lesbian that flirts with other woman. Her partner Joanne, played by Tracie Thoms, asks her to be exclusive and Maureen agrees only to let Joanne down by flirting with another women. None of Maureens friends seem to believe that her feelings are real for Joanne, just another Maureen phase. Maureen herself seems to believe that Joanne is just another lover to add to her list. Nothing special.


Another movie I watched is "Chloe" (2009), Julianne Moore stars as Catherine a respectable doctor and wife who believes that her husband is cheating on her with his young college students. She hires Chloe, who is played by Amanda Seyfried, to try and seduce her husband to see if he is actually cheating. Chloe and Catherine end up having a sexual relationship and Catherine thinks it is just an affair or a phase. The movie ends with Chloe wanting a relationship with Catherine and doing anything to get it. It is like the movie producers do not trust the characters with their sexuality. Catherine is just going through a midlife crisis and Chloe is a young women who is very crazy.

When men come out in movies or television shows, it is usually accepted through 'looked down upon'. For example, take a look at the show 'Will and Grace', during the flashbacks when Will came out, no one questioned him or told him that 'he didn't meet the right woman'. Jack, who is obviously more flamboyant, was not questioned either.(At least in the episodes I remember) Men are trusted that they know their sexuality, women are not.

"But I'm a Cheerleader" (1999) is another movie that stars a lesbian and it is puzzling to me. The main character, Megan, does not believe she is a lesbian. Her family and friends force her to 'come out' and then send her to a camp to train her to be straight. Of course, she discovers she truly is gay at the end and runs away with her new girlfriend. Which is great that it ends happily and all, but I can't help but think that no one believed her when she said 'I'm not lesbian', do you not trust her to know her own sexuality? In this case, her friends and family ended up being right, but what if they weren't?

Whether you think you are straight, gay, bisexual, transgender, or lesbian---I do not think anyone should be questioned: "are you sure?" "isn't that like a phase?" "are you just sick of dating men/women?" People should trust you to know you and if 'you' change your mind, it's because you are human, not because you are a women.

Media representations of lesbians need to change. They need to start showing lesbians who are confident about their sexuality and their relationships. 'Normal' people who are just trying to get by in this world and love who they want to. Lesbianism is not a phase for all women, it is not something for straight men to watch and think it is hot, it is not a disorder. Women need to be trusted to make their own decisions about their life and this is one of those decisions: who to love. Sexuality does fluctate with some people, but I wish that people would just accept others as who they are.

Sex and the Single

Ask anyone of my close friends: I'm open about my sexuality.

Well technically, I'm open about everything.

Last fall, I was compared to Samantha from Sex and the City. Until this comparison I always thought I was Carrie, the columnist with a wonderful quirky fashions sense. I denied the statement that I was Samantha and I went to Sex and the City 2 with a guy friend. While watching the movie, I realized my friend was right. I was Samantha. Not Carrie. I was never Carrie. Nor could I be Miranda because I was too carefree and Charlotte, Charlotte was much too innocent and pretty to be me.

I was stunned. I watched Sex and the City for years thinking that I was Carrie. Now I am Samantha? How can I deal with that information?

I dealt with it like I usually deal with big changes. I push it deep inside me and try not to think about it.

It's not like I wanted to be Carrie, or Miranda, or Charlotte. But I didn't want to be Samantha. She never had a real stable relationship and it seemed to me that out of the four of them she was always, well, alone.

I do not want to be alone. I want to have great sex with a partner but I want a partner to stay. Like a lot of women I have dreams about my future life with a good looking partner and a few kids and of course, a great job.

I am as some say, a serial dater. It wasn't expected and I certainly did not try to. But I've realized all my relationships have lasted no longer than 3 dates (official or unofficial). Always around date three the relationship ended, sometimes breaking my heart, other times relieving me of added stress that a 'relationship' gives a person.

And I realized through this tumultuously few years of dating, that I am happy being alone.

Being single is a great thing and dating brings you many benefits. As my Sex and the City ladies talk about how wonderful their boyfriends are and what he was doing that pissed them off last, I sit there and wonder if I will ever have a relationship again. Because I really don't want one. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's because I am almost done with college and I am just ready to move on with my life, maybe it's because I'm in denial and I actually really want a relationship. All three of these reasons are valid and probably true. But I do not care.

I enjoy being single because I make decisions for myself that are good for me, not the people I am involved with. I worry that my friends won't be around me when I need them, but when I need someone, I have a friend that is there. My need to be in a relationship is only for sexual circumstances and really, that can be met some other creative ways too.

I realize that out of all four of the ladies of 'Sex and the City' if I grow up to be Samantha, I would not care. She's happy. She gets what she wants out of life and she doesn't let others bring her down. No, she doesn't end up married with kids or married at all. But that is not what she wants. If I follow her footsteps, I will get what I want and I will do good at it. I won't end up in a marriage with a guy named BIG, or with 2 kids named after flowers and a husband who is a bald guy, or a successful attorney with a weird looking husband. I will end up with what I want, whatever that is.

Samantha is the only woman I see in the show who will not bend her values to the needs of her partner.

And I like that. If that makes me alone for the rest of my life, so be it. My choices will be my own and I like being my own agent.

Acceptance & Apology Affirmation

Yesterday, I reached a point of maturation that I have never realized before:

I'm tired of hating all that have done wrong to me in the past. I certainly do not need an apology from a person to get over x, y and z or at least move on or be okay with what happened. I do not need this big stand on head circus and a jet writing my name on the sky to be okay.

Of course, that's all welcomed. And if you think you owe me an apology, I am not saying do not apologize. But let's look at what I just said "if you think you owe me an apology". That apology seems to be your issue, not mine. There is one more you than me in that fragment.

Part of the apology is for the victim, but part of the apology is for the person making it. The victim was wronged, yes. But no 'I'm sorry' is going to take away the pain that person felt and might continue to feel. It's possible that the victim will be relieved that they heard it. The victim will feel better knowing that the 'offender' knows what s/he did hurt them and that is a great feeling to have.

But an apology will not take back what happened.

Things happen, the world changes and people change with it.

I know that a lot of the world is looking for an apology from some person or another. And I know that a lot of people just won't get it. What will change if a person that hurts you says 'I'm sorry'?

I know that I will greet all my offenders, whether they apologized or understood how much pain they caused me in a decent, somewhat friendly matter. I have said what I have needed to say to them, I have tried to make them understand my pain and I hope that they do not return to the same behaviors with other people.

My offenders will no longer hurt me. But those memories will. An apology will not take away the pain. And hating them will consume you.

So as I was sliding across the concrete yesterday on my rollerblades and 'biffed it' going down a hill. I remembered one thing, that I was finally okay with what my past gave me to work with. Because those experiences made me the person I am today: an honest, blunt, blooming feminist with a lot of passion to give to others. I do not need an apology from anyone to live my life the way I want to.

The Feminist Romance Equation

Why is it that women seem to end their social life as soon as they get a significant other? It's like the only thing that exists to them is their love for their boyfriends.

Women do not do this on purpose. We are programmed to give a man whatever he pleases, as long as he doesn't leave. We are fearful that if we do anything wrong, he may leave us. And you may not admit it or realize this until it is too late.

Men? Can I let you in on a little secret? Just threaten to leave her. Just once. And see what happens. I'm guessing 75% of the women you date, will beg you to not leave.

Ladies? Do the same thing. Watch the difference of reactions. My guess is that he will be extremely heartbroken, but let you go.

I'm certainly not condoning the women who do this. Like I said, it is in our programming, reinforced with romance novels, romantic comdies, and advertisments. It's not our fault. Even I, Miss Blooming Feminist who never makes mistakes (HA), have caught myself in relationships where the only social life I had was making sure that he would not leave me and doing anything to prevent it.

Then women get in relationships because all their friends are in relationships and ignoring them. I'm serious. I'm sure you know women that are like "I WANT A RELATIONSHIP" and whine and cry because they hate being single. And when you ask them why, they say "I need someone to talk to/etc." They list reasons and qualities that you can get from a friendship. And why don't they get this from their friends? Because their girl friends are 'in a relationship' and ignoring them for their man!

And yes, as I was sitting in my room last night disastified with my life and wanting to do something different. I thought for the smallest millisecond that my momentary unhappiness would be solved by getting a significant other. Then I slapped myself out of it. I don't need a relationship to be happy, I just need a friend. My 'social needs' can be met by having a good friend. Or a few good friends.

If I were to get in to a relationship in the future, it would be because:

1. I really like the person


2. We get along


3. We have hot hot hot amazing sex(nothing less)


4. We have similar goals for the future, aka that you want to be long term


5. That person treats me right and respects that I will have another social life with friends and a career and may be in and out of college forever and that I want me time at the gym..


6. All of the above must be met in order for me to consider being romantic
   

So for the people that still don't understand what should be a romantic relationship, here is a visual equation I'm always amazed at the number of women I hear when I suggest they should dump their boyfriends because of a very good reasonable argument and their reactions are almost always the same. "I can't dump him! What if he is the one!?!?" Honey, if you got one, you can get another.

My NOT Family Friendly Version of Happily Ever After

I find myself more and more desiring the company of gay male companions than those that are straight.

Yes, I will admit it. I'm one of those crazy girls with the gay posse. Not exactly. But I like to think so. I am married to one...in a very platonic but dreamy way. Read on if you wish...but let me warn you, I use technical terms for both a hole and a stick....

Sex Advice

I have been getting a lot of good advice about (straight) sex lately.

"Keep the numbers low."

"Make sure you are ready to have sex."

"Wait until marriage..."

"Don't put your penis in crazy" (In this case, I would probably have to change the body part so it is applicable. )

But I'm having trouble figuring this advice out.

When people tell me to keep the numbers low, I know exactly what that means. Don't sleep around. But how low is low? Under 5, under 10, under 25? No one is willing to define it for me. Plus, when a person is begging you to have sex with them and you say: "I need to keep the numbers low." They say 'it's just a number.'

And I have no problem with gaining experience. Yes, you should keep it low so that you lower the risk of you spreading diseases or contracting them. But what's wrong with a girl having 10 partners? Or as many as she pleases or as little as she pleases. I don't see guys being told, make sure you have as SMALL AS NUMBER OF PARTNERS as you can. This is a sexist piece of advice.

Why is it sexist? Ask why it's important for you to keep your numbers down. Along with lowering the risk of STDs, they will also tell you that, "To make sure your future husband won't be disgusted at you." You never hear guys telling guys, "make sure that you don't sleep with a lot of girls....keep that number down."

If my future life partner cares how many guys or girls I have pleased in bed and gets disgusted at me for it, that person is not my life partner.

I'm not saying, sleep with everyone. I am not saying that at all. But make your own choice with who you sleep with. Don't concentrate on the numbers. Concentrate on what you want to do.

Make sure you are ready to have sex.

This one is a good piece of advice. But it has a lot of flaws to it.

If you would have asked me 8 years ago, what this means...I would have said: "To be ready to have sex means that you are ready for the consequences of having sex. The consequences are, having babies or getting a naughty disease."

And some adults view this the same way.

I no longer feel this way.

In fact, how does anyone know when they are ready? Do you get a card in the mail? Is it your maturity level? Is it the age of consent?

Which leads me to the next piece of advice, waiting until marriage.

This piece of advice is hard. And I applaud all who succeed and make this a reality. But is it too late for me?

I know I have made mistakes in the past, but it can't be too late for me to turn my ideas around?

I tried telling a guy that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. And he stared at me and laughed. Another guy completely disregarded it and kept trying to have sex anyway. Another guy told me it was stupid. Their basis: because I already had sex.

So now what? Am I just a piece of meat to every guy now? You can walk all over me because someone else already did? That isn't fair to you or me.

Now don't stick your penis in to crazy is a good solid piece of advice. Now in my case it's don't let crazy stick in to you.

Blunt but to the point.

In my experience, I have learned 4 rules you have to follow to have a healthy sex life. You can be married or unmarried for this advice. You can be straight or bi or gay or lesbian or pan or whatever. (you just might need to change the reasoning why this rule is important.)

1. Protection is always necessary.
2. Get tested.
3. Respect your partner!
4. Make your own choices

One is important if you do not want any diseases or unplanned pregnancies. Two is important, too, because accidents do happen. Make sure your partner gets tested too.

Three is one of my favorites. This means honest communication and you have to be open. Make sure your partner wants to have sex.

And four is my favorite.

Make sure your choices are your own. This will make sex both positive and enjoyable for you. If you feel like you need to do it, it's not your time to be having sex. If you feel like it is going against your morals even just a little, it's still not your time.

Follow these rules and you will be sure to have a sex positive lifestyle.

Uh Oh.

I posted a comment on a pro-life movement video on youtube months ago and this is the reply I got (months ago):

Truth is that there are no unwanted pregnacies or babies if people are responsible with sex. You may think me prude or unrealistic to support the idea of waiting until you find the person you want to spend your life with but let me ask you this...

Who do you want to be or be with? Someone who respects a woman enough to wait for sex or someone who uses a woman for sex and leaves her with a pregnancy that neither wants?

My Response:

Let's just say you use birth control everyday correctly. That's responsible right? I would describe that as responsible. But birth control fails, condoms break. You know, life happens. And just because one thing goes wrong, doesn't mean you should not have a choice to walk away from a pregnancy.

I don't think this girl is a prude. Not at all. Stand next to your beliefs, proudly, woman! But that is your choice to wait for 'the one'. It's not everyone's.

I want to be with someone who respects me. But there is something wrong with the logic here:

• One, you are assuming all people who get married are angels. Some aren't. It's sad. But divorce happens for a reason. Just because you are married to someone doesn't mean that individual is going to respect you. (Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston...I don't think they respected each other after awhile?!? Do you? What about O.J. Simpson, he was married and didn't respect his wife?)
• Two, not all men walk away. Yes, single non-married men have an easier chance to walk away from a pregnancy. It doesn't mean they do. (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie aren't married, and he hasn't walked away.)

I believe in healthy sex. I believe this can happen in any type of relationship. Friends with benefits, marriage, relationships, partnerships, whatever you want to be labelled as. It can happen. A person can respect you and not be married to you. A person can respect you and not spend forever with you.

I don't know. Maybe it is too late for me. Maybe I am forever doomed in to an afterlife with a firey pit of lava. I'll accept it. I've sinned. I've taken the Lords name in vain. And worst of all, I've judged people.

I've learned from my mistakes. And I move on. I don't believe my lifestyle is for everyone. I don't believe that I should force my viewpoint on other people. Everything should be your choice to make. What food you choose to eat, what clothing you choose to wear, what God(s) you believe in, if you believe in a god, whether or not you have sex with out marriage. I can't tell you that's right. I can't tell you that's wrong. Do what you believe is right, and stand up for it when challenged. Don't do what you believe is wrong. It's simple.

The last thing I want to do is get in the way of someone's happiness. Personal choices are that. Personal. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Men On Mondays!!!: Even More New Perspectives

For missing my first class today, I feel as though my brain is exploding with knowledge right now. I can barely keep it in with out crying.

What has caused this brain input right now, let's see if I can get this down right now so I do not forgot this knowledge overload.

I went to my second class today burning with anger that I missed my first one. But what I learned in my second class was reason enough to be trembling.

My professor is one who could speak for hours in front of me and I would sit there in awe. Every class he gives me something to think about in terms of my life that really just makes my life---real.

What we looked at in class today was the amazing (and I mean, amazing) structures that our ancestors created. Creations like Macchu Picchu and Cahokia, just seriously google image the structures and I get sick to my stomach about not only the beauty of it but the brillance.

He refers to all historical people as 'our ancestors' and I love that he has done that. I decided that I will refer to all people as my ancestors and my family from now on. How can I hate someone that is a part of me? Answer: I can't. By referring to other people as your family, you are recognizing that they are an equal and that they are respected and most of all that they are loved.

This family belief: that all people are family reminds me of the first piece of advice that "101 ways to stop Prejudice" booklet tells you to do, which is "learn and share about your heritage."

So here I am just sitting in awe at the creation of this wonderful, magnificant structures and the brilliant professor. With the first piece of advice looming in my head about ways to end prejudice...(because of course I read that packet on our break from class...) And I can not wrap my head around this amazing, chilling beauty I just saw. There is no words to describe how I felt then and there, and even now. Besides to say that I had and have goosebumps thinking about it.

So I leave class and head to work, where I was determined to be productive. But of course, no such thing happens because upon reading my online class discussions, I am chilled at another thought...

For class, we had to read "How men have (a) sex" by John Stoltenberg. Which is a very good essay and I highly recommend it to anyone who is researching gender and sex issues or anyone who is interested. But what was more breaking was how Stoltenberg chooses to live his life as a radical feminist.

First of all, John Stoltenberg identifies as a feminist. I have mentioned before that I know about the controversy of the disagreement on whether men can be feminists or not. I believe in self-identification above the views of others. And if he claims he is a feminist and is doing good work in the name of feminist. I shall call him what he believes himself to be.

Second of all, Stoltenberg is an anti-porngraphy activist. Porn is something that I am still on the fence about, especially because modern porn is degrading and harmful for the women that are participating in it. (More on my stance, here.)

And third of all, Stoltenberg identifies as a gay individual. Yet he lived with a woman named Andrea Dworkin for 31 years as a life-partner. His ideas of sexuality and gender are ground breaking and he chooses to live his life despite society's norms and beliefs about it.

My sexuality and my gender identity is something that I have quietly struggled with for years.(You can read more about part of my struggle in a letter I wrote to the Star Tribune after my graduation, here.)Only a few friends and family members know about this struggle and some still do not know about the extent I have struggled with it.

...and I tell you, my readers, this, not for sympathy, but just to understand why exactly Stoltenbergs life and belief speak to me so closely.

But I am in awe that someone can live life free of gender constraints and the conformity of sex. It seems he did that quite successfully and in a loving relationship none the less.

I have been throwing around an issue lately, in my head, about my own life and my relationships. Can relationships, somewhatromantic, go with out a sexual relationship? Society tells us no. Not at all. But I believe otherwise. I believe that at certain point in your life, you need different kinds of love. Mostly everyone can say that they love their mother (or they did at one point in their life) and at one point in everyone's life, they needed her. And something that I have gone with out most of my life is a love of a true friend, which I believe that everyone needs a 'romantic' friendship through out their whole life. And finally, it's a societal myth that twopeople are going to fall in love and live happily ever after, with out any one's elses love or support. (Love and support are one in the same, another belief, you can not love someone with out supporting them and you can not support someone with out loving them.)

This is something, an idea of love, that I have been throwing around in my head for months now. I have not been able to fully articulate it. And I doubt that now, I have successfully done so. But it seems, at least surfacely that John Stoltenberg believes and lives this too.

So overview, I decided to honor two men that only recently entered my life but helped me articulate what I have been trying to define for months, maybe even years. One is a professor and another is John Stoltenberg. These two men are helpful to both the feminist movement and my own movement. And I am grateful for their work.

Can Porn be Women-Positive?

I hate porn.

I'll admit it. The little porn I have seen had me reeling back in disgust.

Hanging out with my guys friends after our first year of college was interesting because it had seemed they had lost all filters with me. They explored the internet in front of me and laughed at the disgusting porn they came across.

I laughed from what I could see in between my fingers, too. Then I remembered that they were real people and that most of these people were getting hurt.

I don't think erotic images are bad. And I do not think sexualization is necessarily a bad thing.

But I think women who are porn stars or 'escorts' or strippers are doing it wrong.

Yes, you heard me. They are doing 'it' wrong.

It's common fact among scholars that investigate the sex industry that most women in the sex industry may not see a lot of what they earn. Porn stars have agents, Escorts have johns and strippers...well, strippers are stripping in a joint that is usually owned by someone other than them. Most of their money that they earn go to those 'third parties'.

Agents, Johns and Owners of strip clubs are usually men.

So women are selling their bodies to men, to give more money to men.

That doesn't sound very sexually liberating to me.

As I searched for statistics on how much a women in the sex industry makes in a lifetime, I realized that I wouldn't find a lot of results. Sites like this one focused on how much money the 'porn industry' makes overall and who pays for it.

They didn't split up where this profit goes. My guess is that most of the money goes to the producers of these films, not the actresses. My guess is that these producers are mainly men.

My point? Women in the sex industry need to take control. They deserve most of that profit that the porn industry brings in. In order for these career choices to be liberating, they need to be making the majority of the big bucks.

Yes, I'm saying that women need to be the owners of porn companies. Why? Because they are the one being degraded, used, and sexualized on computers and televisions screens across the world.

When I brought this up to my guy friends, they scoffed at me. "Women don't know what a man wants in bed." They told me. I looked at them with disgust, "You're telling me that you've never been satisfied by a women in bed before, now that's kind of sad." Yes, women know what you want in bed, women satisfy you, why can't they take over the porn industry?

I believe that women can use their sexuality to get ahead in life. I believe in choices and that in the right cases, women can be financially stable and fiscally responsible from the porn industry. It's a women's body and her choice to make, but let's make sure it's a good choice to make and that she isn't being cheated.

But let's do this right. Let's make the sexualization of women's body's our choice and to our benefit. That's a fair compromise, if you can't beat them, make money off them.

(Note: I focused on straight porn, I tried to find studies on gay porn because I heard that gay porn is more 'healthy' in the terms of income for the actors, I could not find any. I do not know if the sexualization of gay men is an issue.)

Men On Mondays && The LGBT community

Mondays are the days that I recognized Males that help further the feminist causes. I just wanted to take time to thank the male-identified individuals of the LGBT community.

Before I went to college, I knew of a few homosexual males. I never actually got to know any. From the moment I stepped out of the bus after graduation, I have come across more and more male-identifying individuals from the LGBT community. They have helped me grow as a person and I appreciate all of what these individuals have done for me over the past-almost-two years. (Wink Wink- you know who you are.)

It is really important to help all causes, whether it is in your group or not. I feel that people with different sexualities than myself, different genders than myself should have equal access to healthcare, job opportunities, education, life choices, whatever. This is the same for different races than myself, different ethnicities than myself.

There are people being discriminated against for their sexuality. Whether or not they are a woman, I do not care. I believe in the golden rule and reciprocity. Maybe if I help them, they will help fight for women's issues. At least, in the perfect world, they would support the causes I fight for if I support the causes they fight for.

So here's for the men in the LGBT community who support feminist causes!! Inclusiveness and collaboration is what is going to get our issues heard!

(And a small shout out for the women-identified individuals in the LGBT community, you are heard! You are not forgotten and you are loved! )

Planned Parenthood: Support oppresses Trans, Ignores Male Benefits, & Promotes Gender Stereotypes!

This video is pretty amusing and it makes a point. That's my first admittance.

There is a few things I find that this video ignores and actually does not help the cause.

Point #1: We are ignoring two groups that CAN use Planned Parenthood and may or may not have Vaginas.

First of all, not all women have vaginas. Hello, transexuals/transgenders? Anyone? In fact, many trans are turned away from sexual health care because of who they are. Not because they aren't sick, but because who they identify as doesn't match their 'goodies.'

Second of all, men can use planned parenthood too. STD testing and sexual health, etc. And they should use Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood may seem like they are focusing on women's issues, but they will not turn down a man that needs important health services.

I feel like this video makes a really good point. But I also feel like they are supporting the fact that Planned Parenthood is only for Cis, straight females. And it is not, just for them.

Planned Parenthood is an amazing, amazing, amazing creation. If this is how you show support, go for it. But is all support good support? Or by ignoring two (or more? Let's not forget they ignored L and G groups.) groups of people that can use this clinic, are we hindering the movement? We are oppressing one group and ignoring the fact that another can use this services.

But this video also tells women that they should be able to control their sexual life.This is a very good thing! Be proud of your sexuality and sleep with who you want to! At first, I was like "Heck yeah you go girls!! You choose with who you sleep with and you dump those bigots!"

Women have power in their sexuality and I think that if you need to use it for survival, you should use it. That means, that sometimes, women do not have the choice of who they sleep with. Women having the choice of who they choose to sleep with is a very privileged and somewhat Western ideology. With men having most of the political say in most countries and most of those men being straight, will women control these men by holding off sex?

Point #2: Which brings me to the next point of why I find this video harmful, it promotes gender roles and stereotypes. They are saying that all men think with their 'goodies' and women have the power to control that thinking. If the only control I have in a relationship is sexual-based, I don't think I would consider that a healthy or safe relationship. How far does sexual control go? And if men really think with their 'goodies' then what stops them from going out and buying sex from a exploited women? (Which makes the whole logic of the stereotype, men only think with their 'goodies', out the windows and not valid.)

I don't know, if this video is going to help Planned Parenthood or not. I do not know if it is even going to help "straight cis-females" and that is what the video says Planned Parenthood helps in the first place. We are conforming women to their sexuality and forgetting the fact that women have other things to offer. (Like intelligence, talent, BRAINS?!?!?)

If you support the mission of Planned Parenthood, which is to educate young adults on their sexual safety. Please sign this petition now. Remember, Planned Parenthood is not all about abortion, it is not all about women and it is not all about sexual health.

(Update: Hey, look! It's all 'white; woman in the video too! I mean, there is a woman of Asian descent and perhaps another woman of different ethnic group, but they are both very light in color...)