Sex Advice

I have been getting a lot of good advice about (straight) sex lately.

"Keep the numbers low."

"Make sure you are ready to have sex."

"Wait until marriage..."

"Don't put your penis in crazy" (In this case, I would probably have to change the body part so it is applicable. )

But I'm having trouble figuring this advice out.

When people tell me to keep the numbers low, I know exactly what that means. Don't sleep around. But how low is low? Under 5, under 10, under 25? No one is willing to define it for me. Plus, when a person is begging you to have sex with them and you say: "I need to keep the numbers low." They say 'it's just a number.'

And I have no problem with gaining experience. Yes, you should keep it low so that you lower the risk of you spreading diseases or contracting them. But what's wrong with a girl having 10 partners? Or as many as she pleases or as little as she pleases. I don't see guys being told, make sure you have as SMALL AS NUMBER OF PARTNERS as you can. This is a sexist piece of advice.

Why is it sexist? Ask why it's important for you to keep your numbers down. Along with lowering the risk of STDs, they will also tell you that, "To make sure your future husband won't be disgusted at you." You never hear guys telling guys, "make sure that you don't sleep with a lot of girls....keep that number down."

If my future life partner cares how many guys or girls I have pleased in bed and gets disgusted at me for it, that person is not my life partner.

I'm not saying, sleep with everyone. I am not saying that at all. But make your own choice with who you sleep with. Don't concentrate on the numbers. Concentrate on what you want to do.

Make sure you are ready to have sex.

This one is a good piece of advice. But it has a lot of flaws to it.

If you would have asked me 8 years ago, what this means...I would have said: "To be ready to have sex means that you are ready for the consequences of having sex. The consequences are, having babies or getting a naughty disease."

And some adults view this the same way.

I no longer feel this way.

In fact, how does anyone know when they are ready? Do you get a card in the mail? Is it your maturity level? Is it the age of consent?

Which leads me to the next piece of advice, waiting until marriage.

This piece of advice is hard. And I applaud all who succeed and make this a reality. But is it too late for me?

I know I have made mistakes in the past, but it can't be too late for me to turn my ideas around?

I tried telling a guy that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. And he stared at me and laughed. Another guy completely disregarded it and kept trying to have sex anyway. Another guy told me it was stupid. Their basis: because I already had sex.

So now what? Am I just a piece of meat to every guy now? You can walk all over me because someone else already did? That isn't fair to you or me.

Now don't stick your penis in to crazy is a good solid piece of advice. Now in my case it's don't let crazy stick in to you.

Blunt but to the point.

In my experience, I have learned 4 rules you have to follow to have a healthy sex life. You can be married or unmarried for this advice. You can be straight or bi or gay or lesbian or pan or whatever. (you just might need to change the reasoning why this rule is important.)

1. Protection is always necessary.
2. Get tested.
3. Respect your partner!
4. Make your own choices

One is important if you do not want any diseases or unplanned pregnancies. Two is important, too, because accidents do happen. Make sure your partner gets tested too.

Three is one of my favorites. This means honest communication and you have to be open. Make sure your partner wants to have sex.

And four is my favorite.

Make sure your choices are your own. This will make sex both positive and enjoyable for you. If you feel like you need to do it, it's not your time to be having sex. If you feel like it is going against your morals even just a little, it's still not your time.

Follow these rules and you will be sure to have a sex positive lifestyle.