So how do you REALLY know?

I watched "The Big Gay Musical"(2009) with one of my close friends recently. Good movie, though it mainly focused on gay men instead of the queer community.

It seems that gay men are representated fairly accurately in popular culture. With a few exceptions of course. The film really spoke to a lot of people trying to date in this time period. A lot of people want hookups as opposed to relationships at my age and I know that is hard for a lot of my friends.



It's on Netflix instant play, and it is definitely something you might want to check out. Especially if you are tired of dating/hooking-up/whatever.

But I wanted to raise a good question about movies that show lesbians. I call the media representation of lesbians as 'part-time'. Most of the lesbians that have been shown on movies are extrememly lipstick (feminine), going through a midlife crisis, or psycho. And although it makes a great movie and plot, it also harms the lesbian population. It makes it seem that lesbianism is a phase for women or a part-time sexuality that can be changed if they met a nice man. There is certainly a representation like this in movies for gay men, however, it is not as prominent as men are usually trusted to make their own decisions!

Women, however, are not. "You just haven't met the right guy" the movie goes, and focuses on the women exploring her sexuality but at the end settling for the perfect man. It's like the media finds women inadequate to make their own decisions!


Take a look at a popular movie and play "Rent"(2005). Now the representation for the gay couple is fairly accurate, but the lesbian couple is insecure of their feelings for each other. Maureen, played by Idina Menzel, who is a 'new' lesbian but also a lesbian that flirts with other woman. Her partner Joanne, played by Tracie Thoms, asks her to be exclusive and Maureen agrees only to let Joanne down by flirting with another women. None of Maureens friends seem to believe that her feelings are real for Joanne, just another Maureen phase. Maureen herself seems to believe that Joanne is just another lover to add to her list. Nothing special.


Another movie I watched is "Chloe" (2009), Julianne Moore stars as Catherine a respectable doctor and wife who believes that her husband is cheating on her with his young college students. She hires Chloe, who is played by Amanda Seyfried, to try and seduce her husband to see if he is actually cheating. Chloe and Catherine end up having a sexual relationship and Catherine thinks it is just an affair or a phase. The movie ends with Chloe wanting a relationship with Catherine and doing anything to get it. It is like the movie producers do not trust the characters with their sexuality. Catherine is just going through a midlife crisis and Chloe is a young women who is very crazy.

When men come out in movies or television shows, it is usually accepted through 'looked down upon'. For example, take a look at the show 'Will and Grace', during the flashbacks when Will came out, no one questioned him or told him that 'he didn't meet the right woman'. Jack, who is obviously more flamboyant, was not questioned either.(At least in the episodes I remember) Men are trusted that they know their sexuality, women are not.

"But I'm a Cheerleader" (1999) is another movie that stars a lesbian and it is puzzling to me. The main character, Megan, does not believe she is a lesbian. Her family and friends force her to 'come out' and then send her to a camp to train her to be straight. Of course, she discovers she truly is gay at the end and runs away with her new girlfriend. Which is great that it ends happily and all, but I can't help but think that no one believed her when she said 'I'm not lesbian', do you not trust her to know her own sexuality? In this case, her friends and family ended up being right, but what if they weren't?

Whether you think you are straight, gay, bisexual, transgender, or lesbian---I do not think anyone should be questioned: "are you sure?" "isn't that like a phase?" "are you just sick of dating men/women?" People should trust you to know you and if 'you' change your mind, it's because you are human, not because you are a women.

Media representations of lesbians need to change. They need to start showing lesbians who are confident about their sexuality and their relationships. 'Normal' people who are just trying to get by in this world and love who they want to. Lesbianism is not a phase for all women, it is not something for straight men to watch and think it is hot, it is not a disorder. Women need to be trusted to make their own decisions about their life and this is one of those decisions: who to love. Sexuality does fluctate with some people, but I wish that people would just accept others as who they are.

Movies && Pregnancy

I am moving away from porn today and on to 'real' hollywood movies.

I have been using my mom's netflix account to watch movies lately. (Thanks, Mom!) I've been watching a few movies that have to deal with woman and their reproductive system. In other words, these women are normally preggo. Since some women choose to have children, I thought this would be interesting to share what I thought of these movies in a slightly feminist perspective.

Baby on Board
I started with a movie called "Baby on Board". I know, I know, I should have known it was going to be bad from that title, but I wanted to give it a chance. The movie was hands down a waste of my time.

Even though the writers tried to make Heather Graham's character a career woman, she was far from one. She stated she put her career first over her personal life, but the movie showed her constantly having to put her career on the backburner for her husband. Typical.

Her marriage, which was described as "perfect" in the description, was a trainwreck from the beginning. The relationship between her and her husband is immature, not developed and lacks adult communication.(I hated the fact that the husband 'forgot' to put on protection while they were having sexy time. Not cool. Divorce him. )

Frankly, I thought they had spent more time on Graham's hair then the writing of the script. And even though the movie is supposed to be about Graham's characters pregnancy, they spent more time on the husbands law partner extramartial concerns.

The People I've Slept With
I thought I would be more impressed with 'The People I've Slept With' then 'Baby On Board' and although it was a 'more feminist movie'. I do have some concerns.

The main character is Asian American and very independent on her own. When she finds out she is expecting, her decision to keep the baby is because her sister told her 'she's getting old and someday it will be harder to conceive'. She works for an art store and is an aspiring artist.

I didn't understand why she was so concerned with finding a 'husband'. She seemed fine on her own and did not buy in to a lot of the crap her older sister was feeding her. It did not seem to me that her father and sister and friends would let her and her child on their own. Which made me think that her search to find a husband was just a plot for the film. It was unbelievable, so to say.

BUT after you get through the 1950s themed part of the movie, it ended in a feminist, modern way. And it was always focused on her choices and conflicts, not the rest of the people around her.

Women In Trouble
If you want to see women sexualized, degraded and in stereotypical roles and relationships- this is the movie for you. It minimizes woman's issues and leaves most of the issues unresolved. There is a few funny lines in this movie, because most of the women are perceived to be unintelligent. For example: "No one thinks it can happen to them, but anyone could get a Ph.D. Make sure you get tested twice a year."

Barry Munday
The last movie that was about modern day pregnancy was 'Barry Munday'. Although this focused on a man's viewpoint, I think this was the best movie I've seen in a long time. Since it started with Barry getting punished for being a womanizer, I felt like that was an extreme way to forgive Barry's womanzing behaviors.

The movie was really sweet. But it's sad to think that a guy has to lose his 'balls' in order to be a respectful and decent man.

What am I trying to get at in this post?

These movies are about an extremely personal issue that affects women. But yet, you can sense, or know, a male presence in all of these women's lives. And I'm not saying that woman should be selfish and make it all about them, but shouldn't there be more women perspectives about this issue in movies?

I'm just a little sick of watching movies, thinking that they are going to be about real life women and hearing offensive sexist remarks, watching stereotypical characters and finding a male-centered cast. Way to put us women in our place, Hollywood.

Men On Mondays: "Boys Don't Cry"

I recently watched a film while visiting my sister called "Boys Don't Cry." I thought it was an amazing film. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was based on a true story!

The film follows Brandon Teena, who is a female to male straight man (pre-surgery). She is respectfully played by Hilary Swank. Since I was watching it with my sister and her friends, they couldn't accept the fact that everyone in the movie believed that she was a 'real' man.

I feel like the Transsexual movement is very, very ignored. There is nothing psychologically wrong, they aren't horrible people and so on! There 'was definitely nothing psychologically wrong with the character of Brandon Teena, which my sisters friends could not accept either. I am not a Transsexual person, so I do not personally understand their struggle. But I do consider myself an ally to that movement and have been trying to learn more about this 'misunderstood' movement.