What leads girls to murder...

I always know better than to click on a pop song. But I do it anyway.

I found this little gem, if I can call it that, during one of those pop song sessions. It's called "This Little Girl" by a 'little girl' named Cady Groves. I was hoping it would be something like 'this little girl is growing up to a fine young woman' or 'this little girl is going to college'.

But yet again, it's not that. This obviously-autotuned pop song is catchy, but not in a good way.

I think instead of it being called "this little girl" it should be called "this fricking psycho". Because that is exactly what Cady Groves is in this little music video.

It featured Cady as the main character who is trying too hard to get a guy that obviously does not like her (maybe she needs to watch he is just not that in to you to figure out if he is or not) then after their 'date', she watches him from the road in her car. Can you say creepy? It even says "I followed you home, would you be alone?" Then later it says "I know you're creepin"!

Okay, uhm, he is NOT creeping. YOU ARE. It gets scarier, because she states that she is two steps away from murder over and over again. She even sings that she has an alibi...a good one.

I understand 'this little girl' you are hurt. He hurt you. But that doesn't mean you should kill him, he didn't even seem that nice of a guy to begin with. I hate to say this, but....did you not expect this? He didn't even kiss you at the door, he didn't hold your hand, and he didn't make a move on your advances!

Besides for the major psychological disorders this girl has before she started dating this guy, I feel like there is a few things wrong with this song in the first place.

It seems like it is centered on the idea that woman, or girls, only care about their relationships. Which you know, it's great to care about your relationships, but it is not the only thing you care about. More importantly, this little video seems to show that this little girl is all about boys.

It also brings light to the fact that women are all murderers. I'm serious. We are all going to kill men someday, so you better watch out. If we don't get what we want, which is obviously just a man-nothing more-then we are going to kill you.

I lied. I'm not being serious. Women are not murderers. Women are humans and have feelings. Men are also humans and have feelings too. I'm pretty sure that you do not need to tape a guy up to the wall with duct tape to make him see that he hurt you. Men, behind their rock hard masculinity, do have feelings just like women do.

It makes me angry that the only thing that makes women angry is when their man cheats on them. And I know it seems like it is the end of the world, but it is just an end of a relationship...not the world. I wish I could see pop songs about getting an education or standing up for their rights. Women getting angry because of something more important than an end of a relationship, seeing music videos that represent more than just the modern cult of domesticity...

Notice I am using the term women here. Women. Not girls. Men, like the man in this little video, are not going to take you seriously, if you call yourself a girl. Be proud. Call yourself a woman! You get a lot of respect from people!

After this horrible music video, I wanted to find a better song that didn't focus around a man. So thanks for reading, but you should listen to songs like "Not a Pretty Girl" by the WOMAN Ani Difranco.

Or No Doubt and "Just A Girl"... which has similar references of having it 'up to here' because of how society oppresses women like Gwen because of their girlhood (not 'three steps from the edge' because a man cheated on her...)

So how do you REALLY know?

I watched "The Big Gay Musical"(2009) with one of my close friends recently. Good movie, though it mainly focused on gay men instead of the queer community.

It seems that gay men are representated fairly accurately in popular culture. With a few exceptions of course. The film really spoke to a lot of people trying to date in this time period. A lot of people want hookups as opposed to relationships at my age and I know that is hard for a lot of my friends.



It's on Netflix instant play, and it is definitely something you might want to check out. Especially if you are tired of dating/hooking-up/whatever.

But I wanted to raise a good question about movies that show lesbians. I call the media representation of lesbians as 'part-time'. Most of the lesbians that have been shown on movies are extrememly lipstick (feminine), going through a midlife crisis, or psycho. And although it makes a great movie and plot, it also harms the lesbian population. It makes it seem that lesbianism is a phase for women or a part-time sexuality that can be changed if they met a nice man. There is certainly a representation like this in movies for gay men, however, it is not as prominent as men are usually trusted to make their own decisions!

Women, however, are not. "You just haven't met the right guy" the movie goes, and focuses on the women exploring her sexuality but at the end settling for the perfect man. It's like the media finds women inadequate to make their own decisions!


Take a look at a popular movie and play "Rent"(2005). Now the representation for the gay couple is fairly accurate, but the lesbian couple is insecure of their feelings for each other. Maureen, played by Idina Menzel, who is a 'new' lesbian but also a lesbian that flirts with other woman. Her partner Joanne, played by Tracie Thoms, asks her to be exclusive and Maureen agrees only to let Joanne down by flirting with another women. None of Maureens friends seem to believe that her feelings are real for Joanne, just another Maureen phase. Maureen herself seems to believe that Joanne is just another lover to add to her list. Nothing special.


Another movie I watched is "Chloe" (2009), Julianne Moore stars as Catherine a respectable doctor and wife who believes that her husband is cheating on her with his young college students. She hires Chloe, who is played by Amanda Seyfried, to try and seduce her husband to see if he is actually cheating. Chloe and Catherine end up having a sexual relationship and Catherine thinks it is just an affair or a phase. The movie ends with Chloe wanting a relationship with Catherine and doing anything to get it. It is like the movie producers do not trust the characters with their sexuality. Catherine is just going through a midlife crisis and Chloe is a young women who is very crazy.

When men come out in movies or television shows, it is usually accepted through 'looked down upon'. For example, take a look at the show 'Will and Grace', during the flashbacks when Will came out, no one questioned him or told him that 'he didn't meet the right woman'. Jack, who is obviously more flamboyant, was not questioned either.(At least in the episodes I remember) Men are trusted that they know their sexuality, women are not.

"But I'm a Cheerleader" (1999) is another movie that stars a lesbian and it is puzzling to me. The main character, Megan, does not believe she is a lesbian. Her family and friends force her to 'come out' and then send her to a camp to train her to be straight. Of course, she discovers she truly is gay at the end and runs away with her new girlfriend. Which is great that it ends happily and all, but I can't help but think that no one believed her when she said 'I'm not lesbian', do you not trust her to know her own sexuality? In this case, her friends and family ended up being right, but what if they weren't?

Whether you think you are straight, gay, bisexual, transgender, or lesbian---I do not think anyone should be questioned: "are you sure?" "isn't that like a phase?" "are you just sick of dating men/women?" People should trust you to know you and if 'you' change your mind, it's because you are human, not because you are a women.

Media representations of lesbians need to change. They need to start showing lesbians who are confident about their sexuality and their relationships. 'Normal' people who are just trying to get by in this world and love who they want to. Lesbianism is not a phase for all women, it is not something for straight men to watch and think it is hot, it is not a disorder. Women need to be trusted to make their own decisions about their life and this is one of those decisions: who to love. Sexuality does fluctate with some people, but I wish that people would just accept others as who they are.

Ashamed of Living in this State

I grew up in the greatest state in the United States.

The greatest state until last night, of course.

We think everything is so black and white, democrat and republican, we ignore that their is a lot of grey areas in every issue.

What am I talking about? If you must ask, you should be reading the newspaper.

I'll tell you anyway. Minnesota (my beloved home state) passed an amendment to make marriage between a man and a woman. I can no longer call this my beloved state because I am ashamed of living here. Of being in a state that encourages such definition.

I'm not gonna pretend to know about what is gonna happen. My friends say I can vote no on it in the elections. I will vote no. I will. I will. I will. I don't know much about politics and I vote independent because I see the grey areas in all issues, not the black and white politics. Some say this is a waste of a vote. But I sleep better at not knowing that I didn't vote for the people who make the hateful laws.

I like all people I meet. Yes, I do. In some ways even the most negative encounter I have experienced has made me a better person and I am grateful for that person for helping me become the best person I can be.

And I love my gays. I love my straights. I love my closeted and uncloseted friends.

Here is my video reaction to the amendment. I thought it was suiting that I would have it on my first youtube video. =]

Even after this horrible amendment was passed to the next stage, I still believe that all people are good. Don't get me wrong.

Summer!

Hey readers,

It's been awhile, but I had finals and closing, so I had no time for updating this thing. Let alone turning on my computer.

It is officially summer for me and you know what that means: more classes.

I am one of the few students that stay on-campus during the summer. I got a job with Reslife, so living here is free! I love school, so classes were a must. I'm taking a variety of classes, which I will be sure to blog about. (I have already finished 3 credits!!!)

I wanted to share about a personal realization I had in the past week. I was showering and I called myself, 'fat'. For the first time in my life, I did a double take.

I'm always saying how everyone is beautiful as themselves. That bodies are beautiful if they take care of it.

And here I am saying that I'm fat.

That's a hypocrite.

So that night, when I got out of the shower, I looked in the mirror and spoke to myself.

Yup, I talk to my reflection...

I told myself that I loved my unnormal toes because I have a second toe as long as my pinky finger. I told myself that my ankles were wonderful, especially because they help me run 9 minute miles. That my calves were smooth and toned. That my thighs were thin(ish). That my hips were big, but helped my butt look smaller. That my stomach was flat, my boobs were full, my chest was beautiful, my arms were thin. That my lips were kissable....you get the point.

And my point? It was all true.

I challenge you to stop talking about your body in negative ways. Instead of saying I need to lose 5 pounds to get rid of my thunder thighs, I would say, damn, I am so glad my thighs help me get to class on time.

No, really. I'm serious.

Because this is the thing for me. If someone kept telling me how horrible I looked, how bad I looked, I would not do anything. I wouldn't go outside, go to work. Nothing.

My body needs to be treated correctly. Otherwise it will stop working.

That's not completely true, but the logic works in my head.

Also, what I have been doing is just trying to remove the negative parts of what I see in people.

Instead of a heavy-set person, I see a woman with gorgeous eyes...or great boobs...or pretty lips...or...you know?

I figure that we already have the media and supermodel pressuring us. Why do we need ourselves being negative as well?

Take care.

WS 445 Final Project

I had the chance to do a great project for my women's studies class called 'Women and Computers.'

Part one was about visual aids and activism. Click on the link to check out my prezi. I published the videos in my blog before, here and here. I found that there was no research to see how much just how visual aids effect activist causes, but I did a good job trying to see what the effect would be.

Part two was about visuals about -isms. I wanted to see what google images turned up for the words I choose. Were they accurate representations? Sometimes. But sometimes it wasn't. Check it out. I was orginally inspired to do this part of the presentation, by "What does feminism look like?"

Happy Exploring.

Movies && Pregnancy

I am moving away from porn today and on to 'real' hollywood movies.

I have been using my mom's netflix account to watch movies lately. (Thanks, Mom!) I've been watching a few movies that have to deal with woman and their reproductive system. In other words, these women are normally preggo. Since some women choose to have children, I thought this would be interesting to share what I thought of these movies in a slightly feminist perspective.

Baby on Board
I started with a movie called "Baby on Board". I know, I know, I should have known it was going to be bad from that title, but I wanted to give it a chance. The movie was hands down a waste of my time.

Even though the writers tried to make Heather Graham's character a career woman, she was far from one. She stated she put her career first over her personal life, but the movie showed her constantly having to put her career on the backburner for her husband. Typical.

Her marriage, which was described as "perfect" in the description, was a trainwreck from the beginning. The relationship between her and her husband is immature, not developed and lacks adult communication.(I hated the fact that the husband 'forgot' to put on protection while they were having sexy time. Not cool. Divorce him. )

Frankly, I thought they had spent more time on Graham's hair then the writing of the script. And even though the movie is supposed to be about Graham's characters pregnancy, they spent more time on the husbands law partner extramartial concerns.

The People I've Slept With
I thought I would be more impressed with 'The People I've Slept With' then 'Baby On Board' and although it was a 'more feminist movie'. I do have some concerns.

The main character is Asian American and very independent on her own. When she finds out she is expecting, her decision to keep the baby is because her sister told her 'she's getting old and someday it will be harder to conceive'. She works for an art store and is an aspiring artist.

I didn't understand why she was so concerned with finding a 'husband'. She seemed fine on her own and did not buy in to a lot of the crap her older sister was feeding her. It did not seem to me that her father and sister and friends would let her and her child on their own. Which made me think that her search to find a husband was just a plot for the film. It was unbelievable, so to say.

BUT after you get through the 1950s themed part of the movie, it ended in a feminist, modern way. And it was always focused on her choices and conflicts, not the rest of the people around her.

Women In Trouble
If you want to see women sexualized, degraded and in stereotypical roles and relationships- this is the movie for you. It minimizes woman's issues and leaves most of the issues unresolved. There is a few funny lines in this movie, because most of the women are perceived to be unintelligent. For example: "No one thinks it can happen to them, but anyone could get a Ph.D. Make sure you get tested twice a year."

Barry Munday
The last movie that was about modern day pregnancy was 'Barry Munday'. Although this focused on a man's viewpoint, I think this was the best movie I've seen in a long time. Since it started with Barry getting punished for being a womanizer, I felt like that was an extreme way to forgive Barry's womanzing behaviors.

The movie was really sweet. But it's sad to think that a guy has to lose his 'balls' in order to be a respectful and decent man.

What am I trying to get at in this post?

These movies are about an extremely personal issue that affects women. But yet, you can sense, or know, a male presence in all of these women's lives. And I'm not saying that woman should be selfish and make it all about them, but shouldn't there be more women perspectives about this issue in movies?

I'm just a little sick of watching movies, thinking that they are going to be about real life women and hearing offensive sexist remarks, watching stereotypical characters and finding a male-centered cast. Way to put us women in our place, Hollywood.

Miss Representation

This is what I have been thinking about lately. The fact that women can not be intellectual and be famous. Think of Jersey Shore (though I can argue that neither gender is portrayed as smart in that) and the views of Sarah Palin and other political leaders.

I don't want to dumb myself down in order to be heard. That's just stupid. I'm really excited to see this documentary. I can't wait to tell my own story!

Women can be smart and be famous. Women can do what they want to do. Reach for the moon, ladies. It starts with us.

P.S. At 2 minutes I had to stop. That was not a funny joke!

Reality Television

I'm visiting my parents this week and I found that my dad watches a lot of reality television. It is actually kind of boring reality television, not a lot of drama happens with 'Pawn Stars' and 'American Picking'

But what I've realized is that these shows have 1 or 2 'regular' women on them. The women show up from time to time, in 'Pawn Stars' the women makes a complete fool out of herself by showing up late and talking back to the boss. And on 'American Picking' she has tattoos everywhere and takes credit from sale that her guy friend did for her.

This women are not representative of the American population. So I started thinking of the 'women reality' tv shows. One is "America's Next Top Model", where it shows very slender and light women cat fighting on their off time. This is again, not representative.

Another reality show that was popular was "Girls next Door", which followed the lives of three women-all who were dating the same man-Hugh Hefner. As much as I enjoyed that show, it was never really representative of American Women.

I would like to think that American women are intelligent, strong individuals that can get farther with their brains then their sexuality. However, what the televisions show the viewers is women are not getting farther with their brains. In fact, they show 'real' women using their sexuality to get money, using their beauty to be important, and in their spare time, these women are not very nice to their fellow women.