What leads girls to murder...

I always know better than to click on a pop song. But I do it anyway.

I found this little gem, if I can call it that, during one of those pop song sessions. It's called "This Little Girl" by a 'little girl' named Cady Groves. I was hoping it would be something like 'this little girl is growing up to a fine young woman' or 'this little girl is going to college'.

But yet again, it's not that. This obviously-autotuned pop song is catchy, but not in a good way.

I think instead of it being called "this little girl" it should be called "this fricking psycho". Because that is exactly what Cady Groves is in this little music video.

It featured Cady as the main character who is trying too hard to get a guy that obviously does not like her (maybe she needs to watch he is just not that in to you to figure out if he is or not) then after their 'date', she watches him from the road in her car. Can you say creepy? It even says "I followed you home, would you be alone?" Then later it says "I know you're creepin"!

Okay, uhm, he is NOT creeping. YOU ARE. It gets scarier, because she states that she is two steps away from murder over and over again. She even sings that she has an alibi...a good one.

I understand 'this little girl' you are hurt. He hurt you. But that doesn't mean you should kill him, he didn't even seem that nice of a guy to begin with. I hate to say this, but....did you not expect this? He didn't even kiss you at the door, he didn't hold your hand, and he didn't make a move on your advances!

Besides for the major psychological disorders this girl has before she started dating this guy, I feel like there is a few things wrong with this song in the first place.

It seems like it is centered on the idea that woman, or girls, only care about their relationships. Which you know, it's great to care about your relationships, but it is not the only thing you care about. More importantly, this little video seems to show that this little girl is all about boys.

It also brings light to the fact that women are all murderers. I'm serious. We are all going to kill men someday, so you better watch out. If we don't get what we want, which is obviously just a man-nothing more-then we are going to kill you.

I lied. I'm not being serious. Women are not murderers. Women are humans and have feelings. Men are also humans and have feelings too. I'm pretty sure that you do not need to tape a guy up to the wall with duct tape to make him see that he hurt you. Men, behind their rock hard masculinity, do have feelings just like women do.

It makes me angry that the only thing that makes women angry is when their man cheats on them. And I know it seems like it is the end of the world, but it is just an end of a relationship...not the world. I wish I could see pop songs about getting an education or standing up for their rights. Women getting angry because of something more important than an end of a relationship, seeing music videos that represent more than just the modern cult of domesticity...

Notice I am using the term women here. Women. Not girls. Men, like the man in this little video, are not going to take you seriously, if you call yourself a girl. Be proud. Call yourself a woman! You get a lot of respect from people!

After this horrible music video, I wanted to find a better song that didn't focus around a man. So thanks for reading, but you should listen to songs like "Not a Pretty Girl" by the WOMAN Ani Difranco.

Or No Doubt and "Just A Girl"... which has similar references of having it 'up to here' because of how society oppresses women like Gwen because of their girlhood (not 'three steps from the edge' because a man cheated on her...)

Uh Oh.

I posted a comment on a pro-life movement video on youtube months ago and this is the reply I got (months ago):

Truth is that there are no unwanted pregnacies or babies if people are responsible with sex. You may think me prude or unrealistic to support the idea of waiting until you find the person you want to spend your life with but let me ask you this...

Who do you want to be or be with? Someone who respects a woman enough to wait for sex or someone who uses a woman for sex and leaves her with a pregnancy that neither wants?

My Response:

Let's just say you use birth control everyday correctly. That's responsible right? I would describe that as responsible. But birth control fails, condoms break. You know, life happens. And just because one thing goes wrong, doesn't mean you should not have a choice to walk away from a pregnancy.

I don't think this girl is a prude. Not at all. Stand next to your beliefs, proudly, woman! But that is your choice to wait for 'the one'. It's not everyone's.

I want to be with someone who respects me. But there is something wrong with the logic here:

• One, you are assuming all people who get married are angels. Some aren't. It's sad. But divorce happens for a reason. Just because you are married to someone doesn't mean that individual is going to respect you. (Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston...I don't think they respected each other after awhile?!? Do you? What about O.J. Simpson, he was married and didn't respect his wife?)
• Two, not all men walk away. Yes, single non-married men have an easier chance to walk away from a pregnancy. It doesn't mean they do. (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie aren't married, and he hasn't walked away.)

I believe in healthy sex. I believe this can happen in any type of relationship. Friends with benefits, marriage, relationships, partnerships, whatever you want to be labelled as. It can happen. A person can respect you and not be married to you. A person can respect you and not spend forever with you.

I don't know. Maybe it is too late for me. Maybe I am forever doomed in to an afterlife with a firey pit of lava. I'll accept it. I've sinned. I've taken the Lords name in vain. And worst of all, I've judged people.

I've learned from my mistakes. And I move on. I don't believe my lifestyle is for everyone. I don't believe that I should force my viewpoint on other people. Everything should be your choice to make. What food you choose to eat, what clothing you choose to wear, what God(s) you believe in, if you believe in a god, whether or not you have sex with out marriage. I can't tell you that's right. I can't tell you that's wrong. Do what you believe is right, and stand up for it when challenged. Don't do what you believe is wrong. It's simple.

The last thing I want to do is get in the way of someone's happiness. Personal choices are that. Personal. I'll leave it to you to decide.

Saving the world is a full-time job

As I was running today, I was hit with this total sense of frustration. I feel like I am not doing enough to 'save the world.' Courtney Martin spoke to my campus a few weeks ago and said to count your failures as blessings. I definitely have tried. It's just so hard.

But I agree with her, failures are something. They may not be what you want. You can't always get what you want. Fact of life. And I'd rather fail then do nothing. Doing nothing is, well, nothing.

Back to the frustration, I do not know what triggered this sense of anger but I really wanted to just, ugh, I do not know. CHANGE SOMETHING. And I realized that most of the time instead of changing behaviors, I am enabling them.

Let's face it, people are not going to stop rape jokes when you ask them, too. Even if you are a survivor of sexual assault and you tell them that it triggers memories. Not all people are going to see the sticky floor or glass ceiling that minorities go through in education, in the job market, in their careers---even if you point the facts out every time they call a minority lazy or stupid. People will constantly make fat jokes, they will constantly make sexist jokes, racist jokes, classist jokes, hetereosexist/homophobic jokes---even if you tell them you do not appreciate it.

And I sit there in my classrooms, in my organizations, in my work, at family functions and I wonder, is it worth it to point out that it makes you uncomfortable? that it makes you sick to be around them? Most of the time I say: NO, because it won't change their opinion.

The thing is: I don't care if you think it is funny. I don't care if you don't mean it. It's wrong. It's disrespectful. It's so many things in one statement and action. If you say it, you support it.

But if you don't say something, do you support it? Some people say silence is worse then doing the crime.

About two weeks ago, I was waiting outside for a taxi at a hotel and there was a family walking inside. It was about 11 o'clock at night. The dad was not in a good mood that night. He had taken his oldest son (maybe not his son, but either way) away from the 'mom' figure and was screaming at him. I tried not to listen, but it was not positive. I heard threats to this young man's life, I heard insults. It was verbal abuse. No doubt about it. But I just stood there with my date and my sorority sisters pretending it wasn't happening.

I wanted to say something so badly. I couldn't believe I didn't. It makes me so angry about all the injustices I should have done something about. I constantly say "it's not my business" or "it doesn't affect me", and then I don't do anything about it. But when does it affect me? When I am finally a victim? I don't want to be a victim of something that someone could have stopped! Why am I letting others be the victim for me?

Tired of being a bystander and no longer willing to let the little things slide, I'm turning over a new leaf. The thing is, what leaf should I flip over first?

Community

This is a picture I put up on Facebook to show I support Planned Parenthood.


It was a sign that read "I survived because of Planned Parenthood."


Within the first two hours, there was someone that wrote "what about the babies that didn't survive?"