Why Men Should Take A Women's Studies Course

One of my friends was looking for an elective to take this next fall. I mentioned that he should take women's studies.

His argument went as follows, I do not want to take a Women's Studies course because...:

• "I'd feel like a creeper"
• "every girl would look at me and say 'why is he in here?' ugh to pick up chicks!"
• "they will call me a pig"

Now I understand that it is intimating being in a room of women. We're scary creatures, I mean, we are like programmed to respect all men and give up our lives for our boyfriends/husbands. SOOOO SCARY.

But realistically, I know that most women's studies professors welcome the male students. Why wouldn't they? Males give a completely different perspective. Just like feminism realizes that women of different ethnicity and sexuality may have different experiences and needs. We realize that men may offer a reasonable and logical perspective.

Now not all feminists feel this way. There are a few radical groups of feminists that will not allow men in their groups and will call them a pig. But meeting these radical feminists in these introductory courses is going to be rare. Meeting these radical feminists in a class setting is going to be rare. Women's Studies is like any other class: except you talk about what's going on in the world in basis of sexism, racism, etc. Calling another classmate a pig would not be acceptable in a business class and neither would it be in a women's studies class.

As for people looking at you and judging you, you are pretty much saying that you do not want to take a class because of what others might think or say about you. You probably would not even know those who those people are. I know that in my general education classes no one cared why I was there. It's the same for a general women's studies class. Not taking a class because you care about how others would see you is a lame excuse and shows little courage.

Feminism is not hatred of men. It's about the equality of the sexes. It would be harmful to our movement if we repressed men's feelings and experiences just because of their chromosomal arrangements. Men can use their privilege in society to further our cause and by taking a women's studies class and learning about the issues that affect women day to day-you will be more understanding and maybe in your own way help reach equality.

I know that patriarchy harms men as well as women. I do not want to repress others rights. I want to be equal.

I do not think any man should be scared to take a women's studies class. It's just a class. We talk about issues in our society. Issues that involve humans. Yes, sometimes we talk about how 'men' are the aggressors, the rapists, etc. But we understand that not all men are aggressors or rapists. Not all men are violent. And if you take that class, I am guessing that you are probably not one of the 'bad men'.

Women's Studies is a challenging class as it makes you think about how our societies effect the humans of those societies. You do not have to be a feminist to take a women's studies class. You do not have to be a woman. What you should be is human and willing to learn.

The End Starts with YOU.

I decided to take an ethnic studies class my freshman year. Partially because I needed it to fit the requirements of the general educational program and partially because it sounded like fun.

And it was fun. I took Introduction to American Indian Studies and loved it. Then this spring I took up a minor in it. At first, I wanted to use my 'whiteness' in good ways and I stated that I was taking these classes to learn about the cultures of our ethinicities in American. But I also wanted to stop oppression of these groups.

Since I am a women's studies major, I understand that I am oppressed. And until I started taking more ethnic studies classes, I didn't understand how closely I allign myself with people of color. Because most people of color understand that their oppressed. People of my gender...do not.

I think all women understand that they are viewed as inferior of men. But most women can excuse that away, saying that as soon as they get married that her husband will have the privilege they need. (Assume that they are heterosexual, which isn't always the case.) There are the women who do not fit the feminine women example and they are excused as deviant to the gender. If they do not have a slender body, they are labeled as obese, or overweight. Not fitting in to social norms, their are plenty of psychological disorders that they could be diagnosed with. (Remember homosexuality was a disorder in the psychological world until GLB activists won that battle. Being a crossdresser or a transvestite is still a disorder...) These women don't fit so they are given a label so that they are an exception, not a woman. And certaintly they aren't oppressed because they are women. That's not why they are oppressed, they have a disorder!

Okay ladies, you understand you are held inferior, but marrying a man is not going to get you to an equal status. And it is certainly not going to save you from being oppressed. Getting diagnosed with a disorder may not help either.

I recognized that I was oppressed. I am not immune from gender oppression because I'm white, or blonde, or blue eyed. Yes, I have privileges but I am still oppressed.

I try to talk to non-women studies majors about this (and some women's studies majors are not feminists or blooming feminists, so it's hard to talk to them too). I try to find spaces where I can be seen as an equal and not an inferior. And it's hard, because so many women are brainwashed in to thinking that we have the same opportunity as men.

Well ladies, you have a disorder called INTERNALIZED OPPRESSION. Yup, you are oppressed. Not because individuals in your life are oppressing you, but you are.

You are trained to think that you are inferior so you accept the low paying jobs, you do not take the hardest classes at your institutions, you may even act dumb and giggly to get men's attention (and eventually a husband). You may not exactly believe this, but society has taught you to not expect more. You speak up, you get told to shut up. If you are sad, then you get pills. You don't fit the feminine body type, you must get plastic surgery or lose weight for goodness sake.

I'm so tired of women telling me that I need to dumb down/pretty up in order to get a male partner. What if I do not want a partner? "Well you will, eventually."

Uhmmm, right now I don't. So why don't you spend your own time realizing that you have accepted a job that you hate and don't make shit, that your husband controls everything you do, and you have no personal opinion about anything. Because I'd rather be lonely forever, then have a job that I despise, not be able to make my own choices, and not be able to think.

Listen up, Ladies: You have a CHOICE in life. You can accept being degraded and not being a complete person. Or you can be your own person. Your thinking is the biggest obstacle in becoming you. Or lack of thinking...in this case.

The Best Thing College Has Given To Me

Wow. I seem to be in a blogging mood lately.

I definitely would recommend people to be as involved in college as you can, and speaking from experience, this is not hard to do.

Of course, it means many late nights and less time for studying but overall it is a great feeling when you finish a semester with a high GPA and many fond memories.

But that is not why I am blogging today.

I went through high school with a small amount of friends that I spoke to between and in classes, but after school was out, we rarely hung out. I was not given the social support I needed from my friendships and I turned to a romantic relationship I said. This relationship was unstable and unhealthy as I turned to this individual for all my support.

Please note that this is not a post designed to hurt the individual I dated for almost three years of my life though it may come off so. This is a post to reflect what *I* have learned from it. I burdened this individual emotionally and I have come to accept that I maybe placed too much responsiblity of my happiness in his hands for an average human being to deal with.

I have spent almost two years reflecting and growing over the subject of my romantic life. Joining these student organizations has helped me in so many ways, but one of the most, it has given me support beyond belief.

I am now able to recognize the signs of an unhealthy behavior and stop it before it becomes too harmful for myself. Although I have been single for the majority of these last two years, I have been more happier than I was in a relationship. I have had healthy relationships since then and although most of them ended, I did not feel like I needed another one to survive.

I depended on my ex to survive emotionally. This individual broke up with me for a short time in February of my senior year and I felt completely alone. More than alone. I thought this was a sign of true love, but now I realize it was a sign of dependency.

I recognize this dependency in other woman around me. We are social beings and we need social support. A romantic relationship is one way of getting that support. Notice I said one way.

When I started college, I wanted to have friends to hang out with. And I wanted to include my significant other on this journey. I realized quickly that this wasn't going to happen. I remember realizing this and instead of feeling devastated as I was at the last break up, I was relieved.

Even though my friendships were still developing at this point, I knew I had the support I needed to end the relationship. So I did.

I have never regretted this decision.

Some of those friendships I turned to for support at this time have ended. This is sad. I do not think I have thanked them for being there when I needed them. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For the ones that were there and continue to be there for me, thank you as well. These people mean so much to me, even though some of us are no longer friends.

But the biggest support I received was from the organizations I was involved with the past few years. Of course, this is where I maintained and formed many friendships, both temporary and longer lasting. And this is why I encourage all the students I come across to be as involved as you want to be.

As I approach my last year in my undergraduate education, I am realizing for the first time in my life I am making decisions for myself.

Two years ago when I made the decision to go to this insitution, it was not for me, it was for the relationship. When I was debating whether or not to join the Marines, I barely even considered it because of the views of my partner. But now, I decided against the Peace Corps option with out any input of anyone else.

I wouldn't be able to be independent with out the support of so many individuals around me. That seems like an oxymoron but trust me, it's not possible to be independent with out people around you.

What's the best thing College has given me? Support wins by a large landslide.

And I decided to change my major on an epiphany-like-rush, but something that being a Women's Studies major taught me early on is that in order to receive change in society you must support all others around you. Then as you are supporting others, they support you and change is quicker and a more positive thing.

Women's Studies Degree!??!?!

Question: "So what are you going to do with a women's studies degree?"

Answer #1: Well, I want to kill all the men, except for the ones with the good genes. We'll stock them up for reproductive purposes.

Answer #2: Get a job.

Answer #3: Sit unemployed like the rest of America.

Okay, so maybe those answers are a little sarcastic. But why don't you ask me for my career goals or something...instead of asking me why I'm wasting my money on a degree.

Since so many people are so interested in my plans after graduation I decided to list my options for the world to see:

1. I'll get a job and start paying off my 'wasted' money on student loans. For some job ideas that I could receive here and here.

2. I do have the option of staying in school for a master's or Ph.D program. If I go straight through, I will have my doctorate by 26.

3. Join the peace corps. Something I am thinking of doing because I would like to live internationally and love giving back to communities.

4. I could always go live off my parents. I'm sure we would really enjoy that.

5. Law School.

6. Work at some non-profit trying to give back...

...and so forth

I'm twenty years old. I change my mind between these (with the exception of number 4) about 15 times a day. I have 50 years of working ahead of me. It's terrifying. Can I just concentrate on school right now?

Why I am a Women's Studies Major

I'm going start this discussion right now. As I explained at the beginning of this post, people often do not know how to react to the answer "women's studies" when they ask me what my major is. Along with sexist sandwich or wife jokes and pretending to act normal, these are some of the normal responses:

1. What in the world are you going to do after you get out of college?

2. So like what kind of classes do you take?

my favorite, 3. So do you like hate all men?

4. What made you want to do that?

I wish I could record some of these people's tones because you can really tell that they think I am wasting my time in college. My responses vary, depending on the relationship I have with the person from sarcastic to actual attempt to explain what it is.

So I'm starting a new ongoing post theme, kind of like my Men On Mondays-which is hard to do because lately the kind of men I have been dealing with are more animal than human. It's gonna be called......well, I don't really have a good title yet, but it's coming! I'm pretty much going to list the benefits of being a women's studies major (besides meeting some fabulous women!) and answer those questions that you've all been asking me, repeatedly.

I'm gonna start with the easiest question: Why did I choose Women's Studies as my major?

As I have briefly explained before in parts of this post and this post, I did not come to college in Fall of 2009 to become a Women's Studies Major. In fact, I came to college as a business management major. I went through a lot that first year, but even after all that happened, I came back to school as a business management major yet again in 2010.

But as I entered the business core, I realized I just wasn't interested in Accounting, Business Law, Statistics, I dreaded the classes I was going to take. I knew I could do them, it wasn't that the classes were difficult, it was just so boring.

Even the students were kind of boring, they went to class and got up and left at the :50 mark. The professors lectures were dry and well, if I hadn't had a good nights sleep, I would sleep through them there, too.

When a fellow Community Advisor and Honors student asked me what my major is and I replied with a unexcited face, "business management". He told me that I didn't seem that enthusiastic about my major.

I was stunned. You could be enthusiastic about your major? Why didn't anyone tell me this before? You think that would be the time that I would march in to the Advising Office and tell them to change my major.

But it wasn't. I am slow about everything in my life and this definitely was not an exception. That was fall training before school started, I didn't have my epiphany to become a women's studies major until November. Of course that was after I had made sure it wasn't going to slow me down for graduation and made sure that there were many summer course offerings. I even planned out my class schedule for the next two years.

So what you should take from this is that a women's studies major challenges your mind, it sparkles your creativity and it is a lot less boring then a business major. And that is exactly why I am one.

In the words of a Swarthmore graduate

A woman told Betty Friedan in the 1960s that Friedan later published in "The Feminine Mystique" that her work was 'worth the unhappiness.'

She was one of the rare women in Friedan's book that was creating dreams different from becoming a wife and having children. I related to this statement very much.

Last semester when I was a boring business management major, when my studies did not inspire me to think, at all and when the only thing I looked forward to was my Women's Studies class. I had this one may call it epiphany.

Why should I be unhappy in my personal life and my work? That's not very productive. I remember laying in bed thinking that I was destined to unhappiness.

The epiphany came in Accounting class. As I was sitting there, doing my German homework and half listening to the professor drone on about debits and credits and accounts receivable. I just realized that my life was not meant to be dealing with hard, precise facts and selling or buying stocks. It was not supposed to be spent at an office desk everyday from 9 to 5. I needed something challenging, something that made me feel like I was alive, make me think that I was around to, well, do something.

So I made the decision right then and there that I was just going to go with it. I was going to be a women's studies major. Since then, Friedan interviewee explains the rest so well:

"Your mind begins to expand. You find your own field. And that's a wonderful thing. The love of doing the work and the feeling there's something there and you can trust it."

International Women's Day

Today marks the 100th Anniversary of International Women's Day.

It saddens me however, that America has not allowed women to vote for even that long.

Even though politics sadden and anger us, we need to pay attention. What has been happening in Libya and Egypt affect us too in more ways then money for gas.

We need to care about the women in our country and the women in other nations.

We are here today because of women and we will be here tomorrow because of women.

Cultural Feminism at it's finest.

Feminist stay-at-home-mom?

Well, this goes with a back story. When I tell people I am majoring in women's studies, there are two reactions:

1. They make a joke about it. (Usually sexist)

2. they act like it's a 'normal' major...which it is.

Now I'm fine with people that ask questions about my major of choice, (What do you study, what classes do you have to take, what are you going to do with that degree and so on) but when people make sexist jokes about my major I get a little peeved. Of course, I point out that sexist jokes are part of the reason why we still need women's studies as a department/major/class in colleges.