Feminist stay-at-home-mom?

Well, this goes with a back story. When I tell people I am majoring in women's studies, there are two reactions:

1. They make a joke about it. (Usually sexist)

2. they act like it's a 'normal' major...which it is.

Now I'm fine with people that ask questions about my major of choice, (What do you study, what classes do you have to take, what are you going to do with that degree and so on) but when people make sexist jokes about my major I get a little peeved. Of course, I point out that sexist jokes are part of the reason why we still need women's studies as a department/major/class in colleges.

Moving on to the next part, an acquaintance who took the #1 reaction to my major, actually started verbally attacking me for hating her mother. I have never met her mother, I didn't know one thing about this woman's mother.

Yep, just because I am women's studies major I must hate all mothers that stay at home. I must have a list in my head of people I hate that looks like this:

1. stay at home moms

2. men

3. straight people

4. children

5. anyone else that isn't a feminist

This was not a problem when I told everyone I was a business management major. They didn't assume I hated anyone, they didn't make jokes about my major that are offensive.

What hurts me the most is when people directly ask me if I hate children. Actually, a requirement of the women's studies major is that you hate children. That's usually what I say. Fight fire with humor.

They tell me that I don't want to live a traditional lifestyle. That somehow what I major in reflects on my sexuality and my choices in life. Some people even assume I don't know how to cook, or can't cook. No I can cook, I just can't clean. That's a man's job.

When people start going the traditional lifestyle route in the discussion, I usually get serious. I tell them, my life is not gonna be complete unless I have children of my own. Of course, I don't want them now. But if I don't have children, I would feel unfilled.

I don't judge women who are stay-at-home moms. I would be one if I had children and wasn't so damn resistant of being dependent on anyone. Even when my parents give me money, I find a way to give it back to them. (Which is why they just put it in my bank account or mail it to me now). When I am dating, I get in fights with the guy about how I am going to pay my side of the bill. I know not all people are like this, some of my readers who are college students must be like "you give your parents their money back??!?!?!"

A lot of people believe that feminism is doing everything the opposite of the traditional way. I don't agree with this definition of feminism. I think that women should be given the same opportunities as males, and the rest is in the women's hands. I don't want anyone to feel "forced" to go to college, "forced" to stay at home after they get married. I want them to have choices. If they are given those choices with a fair chance of succeeding, then I will be happy.

If a women chooses to stay at home and make her husband dinner everyday, I'm not gonna say they aren't feminist. They can identify with whatever they want to be. I'm not gonna go in to homes and say that 'this family set up' isn't healthy. (if i suspected abuse, it would be a different story.)

Can feminism and motherhood really mix? I guess this is like the marriage post too, because I really don't have the answer. I just hope it does.