Tuesday, June 28, 2011

What Brings You Here

Germany
42
Canada
33
United Kingdom
14
United Arab Emirates
11
Russia
11
Guatemala
5
Singapore
5
Philippines
4
Israel
3

Though most of my readers are from the USA!!
Above are where my international! readers are from:

I know why I am here, I love learning. For some reason I love sharing what I learn as well! But here is your time to share!! I want to know why you read, I want to know what's the most interesting post I have posted (in your opinion) because although my counts say that you guys have read my 'God Post' a total of 35 times!!! I don't believe numbers. They are too logical. Usually readers don't like to share; they like to remain anonymous. That's okay.

If you are my Facebook friend, messages are okay with me, I won't share it with anyone if you specify.

However, for the readers that would like to take one more step to anonymity or don't know me in real life, I created an email just for your input, it's findingfeminism@hotmail.com So send me a message.

I want to know about you, and what you like (and dislike) about this blog.

Thanks for reading!!!
Always,
Hannahkdee

P.S. this isn't the only time you can let me know what you feel! Send me a line (or two or three or a hundred) anytime!!!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Say 'Yes' to normal, not special episodes

Okay. We all know about how our media shows super thin women on tv and not what real women look like.

TLC has a show called 'Say Yes to the Dress', it's about really rich people looking for their perfect wedding dress. I'm not kidding. I've seen a few episodes just because the dresses are absolutely gorgeous. (I hate the ideas of wedding though, remember? Here.)

But a few days ago I was flipping channels and I stopped on TLC. One of the commercials was showing that there was a new program to 'Say Yes to the Dress' called 'Big Bliss.' It featured plus size women finding their wedding dress!

At first, I thought it was really cool. But I couldn't grip why I did not like the idea entirely.

But here's why:

Being full-size isn't a special. Why should they have their own episode? Being small certainly isn't special either. It's just a body type. Why do they need their own episode, why is it a big deal that they are BIG? Why can't they just be on the 'regular' show with the other regular people? Please. I just don't understand why we need to market 'full-sized' shows. Weight loss reality shows are a little different, but that's another issue I'm sure I will post on later.

Equality of representation does not mean different representation. We are all different sized people, but to emphasize that to 'prove' that your are 'not' fitting in with the media representation of super thin ladies by making a BIG deal about one episode about BIG WOMEN. really? That just shows that you do show super thing ladies on your regular episodes.

Let's just include different sized women on DIFFERENT EPISODES together. Treat size like a physical trait, like eye color or hair color. I don't see Blonde Bliss episodes or brown eyed beauties bliss episodes.

If someone told me I was chosen to be on a show because of my shoe size or my hair color or my eye color or my big boobs for a special episode on that trait...I would be like....offended, not complimented.

Making it a special episode makes it seem like it's not good enough to be on the regular episode. Like the 'thin women' are better and deserve more time and episodes.


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Yes, you do have a choice...and it's all yours

Remember when I wrote about how I wasn't going to shave anymore? (That post here.)

Well I started shaving again. It got way too uncomfortable being that long and bushy everywhere. Although I still don't shave my legs as much as some girls and I only trim up the other areas. I realized that I have a choice in my beauty. Of what I do, of where I shave and don't shave and that society (and other individuals) may press me to do more, I am not hurting anyone by shaving, or not shaving, or trimming, or wearing makeup, or not wearing makeup, or spending money on clothes, or stealing clothes from dumpsters to save money.

You are wondering why I have this topic in my mind again. It's because this article was shown to me and got me thinking.

For the people who do not like to read, my favorite quote from the article that sums up my feelings about beauty and shaving:

Though the song was written in just a few minutes, Palmer feels it has a deeper meaning -- yes, we're talking about pubic hair freedom now. "I've been really shocked and distressed to find out that 8- and 9-year-old girls are getting all their pubic hairs waxed off by their mothers," she says. "I think if I have any purpose at all, it's to stand up there and say, 'Oh, no, no, no, no, girls. You totally have a choice. You can wax it, you can shave it, you can grow it out, and this really is up to you.' That's the way that I feel about everything, that you just need to know there's a choice out there."
I agree with this artist, you really do have a choice with everything you do. Especially with beauty, if you don't want to conform to the standards, don't. If you do, then do. You are the only one that has to deal with your hair (unless you are rich enough to hire someone to do that on a daily, hourly basis). You are the only one to look at the mirror and see yourself everyday (granted you look in a mirror everyday, sometimes I don't). But you are the one that deals with you, so make those choices about yourself for you.

I'll leave you non-readers with the video and song the article was talking about, too. :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

How To Lose your Virginity...or not.

Virginity.

It's held up there on a pedestal.

What does virginity mean?

"a state of being a virgin"

Well, hmmm. That doesn't tell us much.

Virgin: "originally meant a woman who has never had sexual intercourse"

Nowdays, it means anyone that has not had sexual intercourse.

The debate now is what is sexual intercourse. (I included a link of the wikipedia article for some 'professional' definitions.)

Some say, anything with the word sex. "Sex is sex, oral sex is sex...." Someone told me my freshman year of college. I didn't agree with her at the time. I asked her: "So what is a virgin then?" And she said "anyone that hasn't had sex."

But did she mean, "sex sex" or "oral sex" or "anal sex." And where do handjobs fall in there? What about masturbation?

Another girl told me that survivors of sexual assault are not 'virgins', ever. Because they are all 'sluts' and if they weren't when the assault occurred, "they are now, because good girls don't get raped."

So to be a 'good girl' you have to be a virgin? I don't understand this connection.

Okay, maybe I don't understand a lot of this argument. I don't know exactly what sexual intercourse means, I don't understand how to lose your virginity, I don't understand what makes you a virgin, and now I really do not know what a good girl is.

It seems that virginity is held on a higher pedestal for women, too. It's more acceptable for men to have sex and not be a virgin than it is women to. Just look at the language: Men are called players, pimps, 'the man'. Women are called whores, sluts, naughty.

See what I mean? Even being a virgin is somewhat sexist!!!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Because Science told me so...

Last summer, I took a biology course on Women. Which means I took a biology course on reproduction.


This three week class was the one of the final pulls towards declaring a Women's Studies major. (After that class I signed up for Introduction to Women's Studies and the rest is history.) What I learned in that class was more than just science, it was life.


Let me explain. Reproduction is how everyone came to be. Even the test tube babies. That's life.


We're all little miracles! YAY!!!

You know what else is a miracle: being a sex. Do you know how easy it is to have genetics mess up and you get born with testes and ovaries? Or a penis but no scrotum? It's more common then you think.

Some research says that 1 in 100 births belong to the intersex group. I'm serious. I've seen lower stats too. But that is the one that I have read the most often, in several sources.


Intersexuality intrigues people. Part of this is because we do not learn about it until college (hello? I was 19 before I learned about this?). Some intersex people may not find out about their own intersex until they are older. (It's not all on the outside, folks.)


[Photo Reference: Eph-B-CABOT-Variety-1938-01]


I'm taking a class called Sociology of Sexuality this summer. Now sex is my favorite thing to talk about and I am blunt about it. I knew this class was going to interest me and challenge me and educate me and that is why I decided to take it.

A few posts ago I realized I was getting more and more personal with my blog posts. This blog is not about my personal life. Although I have experiences that I feel I need to share, I want to do it to add to a professional conversation. Those posts, always has a professional background. Always.

Some people have told me in more polite ways: to shut up about sexuality and my experiences. That it is not appropriate to talk about this subject or that subject in that environment.

But that is what we need to do! We need to talk about our experiences!!! Why? Because experiencing sexuality is NORMAL. No matter who you are.

Intersex people for decades had corrective surgeries since birth to try and make them one sex or the other. Usually it was the doctor that made those decisions to have the surgery. And for decades, children were lied to and growing up with the idea that they were born a certain sex.

Anne Fausto-Sterling wrote 'The Fives Sexes: why male and female are not enough' to address these issues.

She says that their aren't really only 2 sexes, there are FIVE. Is your mind blown? Mine is. We see our lifes in binary ways, we are taught that since birth. Maybe even before birth. Black can only be black, white can only be white. But we don't just have two colors, we have so many more.

In my American Indian Literature class, I learned about the idea of a Medicine Wheel. The medicine wheel was a circle that tried to include more than just two categories of anything. The medicine wheel encompasses all people, all things. It's not a melting pot either, it is a inclusive symbol that wanted to include cultures, not erase them.

This 5 sex thing is slowly making it's way to becoming that medicine wheel. It's trying to make people understand that there is a 50/50 chance that you become a boy or a girl. There is more in to development than that.

Your sex does not end when you are given a X or Y chromosome from sperm. That's just the beginning of sex. And it doesn't end when you are born. (Do you know that some people don't just have XY or XX. They may have XXY, or XYY or YY...it happens...)

Michel Foucault and Judith Butler are researchers about sexuality. And in one of my readings I did for my Sociology class they stated that even sex is created. Just like gender is.

Yes, it is created to organize and categorize the world.

Last summer I learned that sex is what you were born with and gender is the traits that society gives that sex....and this summer, I learn that even sex is a creation of the society we live in.

So I am as confused as you are right now. But it makes sense.

Why else do we not have language for something that happens in 1 in 100 births? That we only have 2 pronouns for female and male. Even though....intersex happens.

It's because the society a long long long time ago decided that it didn't. Decided that if you were, you had to choose the two options.

So relying on biology, they say that your sex is natural. That you have a sex. They created sex through biology. And since it is science, people believe it.

Well, they forget to mention, or they didn't have the resources we do now or even 50 years ago, to prove that the idea of 2 sexes really isn't right.

So when people tell me that science is always right. I say...."uhhhh no."

Who knows in 50 years people could be telling me that my skin is an organ? Oh wait, they do. Or they could tell me that pluto isn't a planet? Oh wait, they do. Or that the earth is round? Shiz, that's what they do.

So what did I learn today?

Science isn't always right, but it is getting better.

(I wrote on issues like this one before, you can find it here.)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

God's out there to save a few certain people

Religion and I have a love/hate relationship.

I remember telling my friends in high school that I was so indifferent to religion that I would go to whatever faith whoever I was dating at the times was. One of my friends started laughing and said: "I can totally see you going to synagogue on Saturday, and then christians faith on Saturday, going to India, praising Buddha..."

And it was true. College certainly hasn't changed me. I still am indifferent about the religious aspect.

It seems like every religion is at fault for something horrible at one point of time. Catholics have the monks and priests that can not hold to their celibacy pledge. Prostestants were kicked out of England but then discriminated against every other belief that was inside of the U.S. and outside the U.S.. Christianity in general has ties to erasing culture all over the world. (Because God saves). And some intrepretations of the Muslim beliefs think that female circumcision is okay....I can go on.

Organized religion can be horrible. And it can lead to many other good things.

Finding 'God' or a religion can save you. It won't save everyone. But it can save some others. Faith is important in some people's lives and in others it isn't.

This is my belief. You believe what you want. Then let others believe what they want, too.

We only reach trouble with religion when one person tries telling another person what to do. Yes, have places of worship. (Or for atheist, non-worship places.) You can even worship here...

[From the Steinfeldt Photography Collection of the Jewish Historical Society of the Upper Midwest. Records]

Don't form hate groups to hate on other religions, or even to tell people what is the right religion. Just don't. Just mind your own business.

What's it hurting you if someone doesn't believe in your God? Your feelings?

Notice I say "believe". I know that there are some individuals out there who do more than just believe in 'God'. They discriminate, hate and push their beliefs on individuals who do not believe in their god. That's wrong.

God will save you. But that is your choice.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Reading Recommendations

Wanted to share a few books/novellas that I loved reading for class in case anyone was interested:

Red Earth by Philip H. Red Eagle
Recently read this for my American Indian Literature class.

Be prepared to want to read it again and again because you catch little things the author puts in. By the third time I read it, I was amazed at how talented this author is at storytelling. It's about the Vietnam war and American Indian traditions. It was not what I expected. But I loved it.

Coming to Age in Mississippi by Anne Moody


I read this for my Women In History class.


Definitely a great read, it's inspiring and upsetting. It makes you want to fight for what you believe in. It's an autobiography of a young African American women that grew up...in guess, Mississippi.

19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult


I read this book for pleasure my senior year of high school.


It really affected me. I stopped trying to fit in and started saying nice things about the people that I knew. It shows how bullying affects everyone in the school, the community and the people around. It's a beautiful and sad story, but definitely one to read.


The Color Purple


This is a great book as it shows the forms that oppression can take. (And all those forms!) I loved it because of the relationships. The movie is so nicely done too. Definitely worth your time!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Something small can ruin a ton

Male bashing will get you no where. It will not make progress.

I repeat this to myself whenever I have a negative interaction with a human that identifies as a male.

I have Men on Monday posts to recognize the men that stand up for women, that support feminist issues and to make sure that I am not excluding them from these movements.

We all have our own qualities that will help the movement ot women and equality.

Men help the women's movement.

But yesterday, was the last Monday I will write Men On Mondays on a regular basis. I had an incident where I realized I am tired of the disrespect I get from certain anonymous males. Anonymous because I do not know them. They know what they are doing is wrong and they do it anyway.

A day this spring, I was running down by the river. And I heard a whistle. When I looked back to give this individual a dirty look, his tongue was out like a dog.

Last week, my sister and I were trying to have a good day out and we were followed and harassed by a guy in a prison outfit. No lie. He offered us candy and didn't want us to walk alone.

Then yesterday, I was walking home from grocery shopping. I walked past a guy who thought it was in his business to grab my ass...

It wasn't his business.

And lets just say that I am surrounded by disrespectful males who think it is their business to tell me that I can not do something in my life. Or should do something in my life.

I have been in relationships with males who are controlling and think that it's okay that they are. Because I am 'theirs.'

I am not yours. I do not care if you're my friend, man friend, boyfriend, or husband. I do not care what relationship I have with you. I am me. I am no one elses. I am my own person.

And my body is my own. And if I let you touch it once, good for you. But that does not give you the pass to keep touching it. If you are a stranger to me, you better keep your hands to yourself because I am not guaranteeing that you will have them back if you touch me.

To my male readers, hold others of your same gender to the same expectations you hold yourself. If you see a fellow male disrespecting a women, say something. They will listen to you, not to me.

I hope Men on Mondays will come back in the future. But right now, I can not bare myself from recognizing the even small part of good males I meet and interact with on a personal/professional basis. If I continue to write Men On Mondays, I feel like I am supporting the enemy. Even though I am not.

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Love of Others

I have to admit. I was down the past week.

It wasn't anything major I just realized a lot of things about my current life that I was not looking at in the right perspective.

I'm a strong person. Or I try to be. I give off the sign of being confident and well put together. I don't have the lowest confidence in the world, but I definitely don't believe that I am CONFIDENT.

This past two years at college has changed me for the better. I still have flaws to fix, but I'm a constantly striving to being a 100% person. Finding Feminism and trying to live a feminist lifestyle this past semester has been a struggle.

I realized that these past two years have also been filled with heartbreak and broken promises. It's been filled with a lot of tears over relationships, friendships, and disappointments.

Then I realized that come September no one has said I love you to me. in two years. two. years.

I thought that had to be wrong. I mean, I had boyfriends these past two years. I had to have someone say 'I love you' and mean it. No. I was right. Come September not one guy has said 'I love you.'

That severely worried me. Was I unlovable? Did I not deserve love? What am I doing wrong that someone has not shared that feeling for me?

Then I remembered. So many people say 'I love you' to me everyday. My friends and my sisters. At least twice a day, some one reminds me that they love me. I've never noticed before because I've been looking at the wrong kind of love.

Romantic is not the only kind of love. That's not the only kind of love you need. Some may argue that you do not need the romantic kind of love.

And those people that tell me "I love you", I actually mean it when I say "I love you, too".

I was so busy being upset over not having romantic love, I forgot all about the love I have already. The love from my friendships, the love from my sisters, the love from even my classmates.

I used to think that I will never feel unconditional love until I have children. But now I am realizing that I do have unconditional love. Just check my Facebook wall, look at my life, look at the people who surround me everyday.

So many individuals are looking for love. They are looking for 'the person' to spend the rest of their life with.

Well I'm not. I'm not looking for love. I have love. I have the people I want to spend the rest of my life with.

And I think that is truly what feminism is to me. It's about realizing what you do have is precious and worthwhile. It's about finding what is important to you and not letting anyone steal that away. It's about how everyone needs the love of others, not just the love of one.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Shoes

One of my greatest faults in my personality is that I am constantly placing myself in other people's shoes.

A fault? How is that a fault?

I know, most of you think that being compassionate to others is a good trait. That trying to understand other people's lifestyles is a good trait.

And usually it would be that.

I empathize with the good guy. I empathize with the bad guy. This makes me conflicted IN EVERY ARGUMENT.

It gets rather annoying. I blame my parents. My father is conservative, my mother a liberal. Do not ask me how it worked. But it has. And they raised me. I don't vote for either party.

I vote though because I like my rights. A hundred years ago, I wouldn't be able to vote. So I am voting now.

Waste of a vote when I vote independent? It probably is. But I disagree with the two party system. I think we need different eyes. Eventually people are going to see that and vote independent with me. Maybe they will vote for me. Who knows?

There is no black and white to any issue. Any one who tells you differently has not looked close enough.

Hear me out: there is no right or wrong. I doubt there ever was.

I can see that. Forgive me for not choosing sides.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Cultural Eraser

Americans have been infamous for erasing other cultures.

Most of you know a brief history of the U.S., all of you should know that there were people here before the Europeans. All of you should know that we pushed them out of their land and destroyed cultures and families. Some people refer to this as the United States Holocaust.

Which, you know, it was.

I have said before that I believe it is possible to live together with diversity and with out conflict.

I know it was possible for them, too.

Right now I am taking an American Indian Literature class. And the professor always reminds us that our ancestors were not violent. This is reassuring.

It wasn't just with American Indians. And this isn't in the past.

Let's talk about American Indian Boarding schools. Those existed in the U.S. until the 1960s. Many of you probably do not know what those are. American Indian Boarding schools were a way to take the 'savage out of the Indian.' The U.S. government snatched children from their homes at young ages (earliest I heard of was 3 years old) and took them to boarding schools far away from their families.

These boarding schools were designed by a military individual. The students were uniformed and not allowed to speak their native language or practice those traditions. Because this went on for a century, many American Indian cultures traditions were erased. Even their languages has disappeared.

Is 1960s not soon enough for you?

Let's talk about the Somalis.

We have a chance to make our past mistakes that: past mistakes.

But people are too ignorant to notice that we are making the same mistakes all over again.

Most Somalis are Muslims and their religion requires them to pray 5 times a day, everyday. This seems to be a huge problem for everyone. This does not effect Christian Americans in any way, and it is only a disturbance when individuals try to stop Muslims from following their religious traditions.

Today, many Americans are trying to stop the ceremonies of other cultures. TODAY. This is not in the past. By stopping the ceremonies, the traditions of these cultures, these cultures will disappear.

I do not know why people are so affected by Muslims praying every day and five times a day thing. It doesn't effect me.

Locally, this is what is happening in my area. Muslims, some Americans, some Immigrants and some visiting, are getting prohibited from practicing their religion. I see no wrong in allowing individuals of the Muslim faith to pray.

Maybe I'm not seeing something. Is it really that wrong to allow 15 minutes maybe three times a school or work day for people to pray. If you think that it is unfair for the non-Christian workers, make it a break for everyone.

There is this argument that Christians don't recieve breaks for praying or religious activities.

Why are so many stores with limited hours on Sundays? Why do we have Christmas off? Why in the world is everything closed on Easter? Ahh, yes. Because of the Christians. Just because Christians are not receiving daily 'breaks' or accommodations does not mean Christians do not recieve anything.

Sadly Americans are not stopping at the United States. Many are going overseas as missionaries to try to 'change the world' as the 'hands of God'. I have no problem with education. I have no problem with Churches raising money to help 3rd World Countries. I do have a problem when people trying to convert anyone who isn't their religion. These people have cultures, religions and traditions. These people do not need our God. What they need is education about surviving, maybe english, maybe some training for jobs.

One of the United States biggest faults is what they did to American Indian cultures, and Irish American cultures, and Italian American cultures, Mexican American cultures, Chinese American Culture, and African American cultures.

Yes, it is just not one ethnicity we did this too, it was every ethnicity that 'Americans' came across.

We erased their culture. We erased everyone's culture. Making America seem cultureless and boring.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Representative don't represent

My coworkers and I, as well as the people we live with, may not have a place to live next month.

This is going to be taxing on my health and on my education.

If anyone knows me well enough, school is my priority and I value it before family and friends. My education is my lover and I shall not let it be taken away from me because MY REPRESENTATIVES can't find a common ground.

I'm angry. And I am PISSED OFF. (It's the same thing so I am doubily as angry.) I went to this school because I worked hard. And there is no way that I am going to stand for being in debt and being out of class and a home.

This is unacceptable and you will no longer represent me if you do not get your act together.

Kapeesh?

My freedoms should not be withheld because of your lack of simple organization.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Can I be a Feminist?

I hear so many feminists telling other feminists that they can not be a feminist for xyz reasons.

This is not going to help us receive equality. We need to stick together. Even if you disagree with some of their lifestyle choices, personality, whatever.

Anti-feminists are counting on us to screw up and divide our input.

If you meet someone who is trying to help the equality movement, but is a pro-life supporter...It's hard to turn away, it's hard not to point out that you think they are being a hypocrite.

I emphasize choice.

I want to be able to give women the choice to vote, or not. I want to give women the choice to have children, or not. To have the choice to get an education, or not. To be straight, or not.

I want to give everyone this choice, man or woman, black, white, asian, native american, latina/o, even ability.

You can call yourself a feminist if you believe you are one. You will be welcomed by me, as long as you are not trying to stop other individuals of receiving the rights you have as well.

So you meet a pro-life feminist. It seems like an oxymoron, you hear nails on a chalkboard in the background, it hurts so much to not say anything.

Ask them in a polite way why they are pro-life; respect their answer. Ask them to respect your own opinion as well.

And move on, to fight for the rights all born individuals.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Sex Advice

I have been getting a lot of good advice about (straight) sex lately.

"Keep the numbers low."
"Make sure you are ready to have sex."
"Wait until marriage..."
"Don't put your penis in crazy" (In this case, I would probably have to change the body part so it is applicable. )

But I'm having trouble figuring this advice out.

When people tell me to keep the numbers low, I know exactly what that means. Don't sleep around. But how low is low? Under 5, under 10, under 25? No one is willing to define it for me. Plus, when a person is begging you to have sex with them and you say: "I need to keep the numbers low." They say 'it's just a number.'

And I have no problem with gaining experience. Yes, you should keep it low so that you lower the risk of you spreading diseases or contracting them. But what's wrong with a girl having 10 partners? Or as many as she pleases or as little as she pleases. I don't see guys being told, make sure you have as SMALL AS NUMBER OF PARTNERS as you can. This is a sexist piece of advice.

Why is it sexist? Ask why it's important for you to keep your numbers down. Along with lowering the risk of STDs, they will also tell you that, "To make sure your future husband won't be disgusted at you." You never hear guys telling guys, "make sure that you don't sleep with a lot of girls....keep that number down."

If my future life partner cares how many guys or girls I have pleased in bed and gets disgusted at me for it, that person is not my life partner.

I'm not saying, sleep with everyone. I am not saying that at all. But make your own choice with who you sleep with. Don't concentrate on the numbers. Concentrate on what you want to do.

Make sure you are ready to have sex.

This one is a good piece of advice. But it has a lot of flaws to it.

If you would have asked me 8 years ago, what this means...I would have said: "To be ready to have sex means that you are ready for the consequences of having sex. The consequences are, having babies or getting a naughty disease."

And some adults view this the same way.

I no longer feel this way.

In fact, how does anyone know when they are ready? Do you get a card in the mail? Is it your maturity level? Is it the age of consent?

Which leads me to the next piece of advice, waiting until marriage.

This piece of advice is hard. And I applaud all who succeed and make this a reality. But is it too late for me?

I know I have made mistakes in the past, but it can't be too late for me to turn my ideas around?

I tried telling a guy that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. And he stared at me and laughed. Another guy completely disregarded it and kept trying to have sex anyway. Another guy told me it was stupid. Their basis: because I already had sex.

So now what? Am I just a piece of meat to every guy now? You can walk all over me because someone else already did? That isn't fair to you or me.

Now don't stick your penis in to crazy is a good solid piece of advice. Now in my case it's don't let crazy stick in to you.

Blunt but to the point.

In my experience, I have learned 4 rules you have to follow to have a healthy sex life. You can be married or unmarried for this advice. You can be straight or bi or gay or lesbian or pan or whatever. (you just might need to change the reasoning why this rule is important.)
  1. Protection is always necessary.
  2. Get tested.
  3. Respect your partner!
  4. Make your own choices

One is important if you do not want any diseases or unplanned pregnancies. Two is important, too, because accidents do happen. Make sure your partner gets tested too.

Three is one of my favorites. This means honest communication and you have to be open. Make sure your partner wants to have sex.

And four is my favorite.

Make sure your choices are your own. This will make sex both positive and enjoyable for you. If you feel like you need to do it, it's not your time to be having sex. If you feel like it is going against your morals even just a little, it's still not your time.

Follow these rules and you will be sure to have a sex positive lifestyle.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Pressures that Women Feel everyday

Here is a list that I compiled about the pressures or conflicts that women may feel on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis:

You have too be thin, but you can't be too thin.
You have to have boobs, but you can't overflow.
Act sexual, but don't be a slut
Get 'experience' but keep those numbers low.
You eat vegetables, you have anorexia.
You eat junk food, you have a problem.

You can only be a feminist, if...
...you are a lesbian
...you wear pants every day
...you avoid wearing bras
...you burned your old bras
...you hate men
...and children
...you were a tomboy as a child
...you are a communist

You can not be a feminist, if...
...you like to cook
...you wear makeup
...you shave
...you have children
...you are married
...you are black, asian, Indian, American Indian

If you dress like a girl, you are conforming.
If you dress like a guy, you are trying too hard to not conform.
You dress with revealing clothes, you are a slut, you sleep around, you want attention.
You dress because you are cold, you are a prude.

Single? Hurry! before all the guys leave!
In a relationship? Don't you want time to yourself...?

You don't want kids? You are ruining the world.
You have too many kids? You are ruining the world.
You had kids young? horrible.
You had kids old? horrible.

Lesbianism only happens when you are going through midlife crisis,
or have a psychotic illness,
or because your drunk,
or you want to impress the hot guys.

(I will be updating this...)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

When Old White Men Talk...

If I have learned one thing this summer about old, white men, is that once you get them going and acknowlege their opinions as valid--- THEY DON'T STOP TALKING.

It's like their privilege leaps out of them. They dominate the discussion, put in life experiences that it seems only he sees the validity of the story to the discussion.

You've been talking for over 200 years in this country, it's time for you to share the stage with the other members of your class. Even when he has no experience with that topic, they share it.

We are waiting for our turn to lead the discussion. The women, the young, and the members of other ethnic groups. We are even waiting for our turn to share what we think.

But you won't allow it. It's not like we do not want to hear your opinion. We do. We just want opportunity for you and others to hear our own.