If you are voting "yes", you probably shouldn't have a say. But that's not my right to take away.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you are voting "yes" to the marriage amendment or the voter id amendment, I think you should not be allowed to vote and get married.

Harsh? Yeah. I thought so too. That's why I am voting no to both, even if it means buttmunches like you get a say, too.

Realize that anyway you put it, not letting someone else get married for any reason that YOU can think of is not a good enough reason to stop them from doing so.

Last week or so I wrote a blog for a friend's blog in which I analyzed the other side to marriage amendment kindly. Well, I am sooooo done with being kind about this issue. Partly because stopping someone from getting married isn't nice, so why should I be nice? 

And plus, the whole idea of banning marriage for gays to protect the children is pissing me off right now. It's basically telling me that my partner and I (oh by the way, my partner is a man) can not make good parents because we aren't married. Well, screw that. That's offensive as fuck. Frankly, I know I am not going to make a very good parent because I swear too much or I am a feminist liberal hippy. But not because I am not married. At least choose a better reason then that to protect the children. (For the record, I think gays make better parents than straight people. Because to make babies they can't just find the first guy or girl they see and screw like bunnies. They, usually, have to prepare and be ready.)

And who the heck makes an amendment on defining a relationship anyway? So dumb. Let's worry about the bigger issues in life. You know like homelessness? Education for our children? Why don't we make amendments about those issues or laws or programs or whatever. Stop wasting our time. 

And the voter id amendment. Voter fraud??? Who the fuck made that word up. Seriously, if you steal my vote, I will hunt you down and probably make sure you voted the way I would have. But I am not gonna get too upset. Probably because the likelihood of it going to happen is close to non-existent. If you really want to protect yours and other's votes. Don't put restrictions and useless fees on voting. 

So basically my thoughts are, if you are voting yes to either of these issues, you are a dumbfuck. That's putting it nicely. At least I realize that even though not defining marriage between a man and a woman is not gonna do anything but define a stupid "tradition" that 50% of people will throw the privilege away anyway, I'm doing the right thing. Which is not defining a relationship that should be defined between those two people in the marriage anything. What is next? Are you going to tell me that I'm married because I am in a relationship with my male partner? Oh shut the fuck up, not any of your business what I do and if I call my boyfriend my husband or not. 

But you don't really care because I am not "harming" a child by being gay. I'm harming a child by not being married. And here's the real thing, I'm not trying to take away your rights to vote and get married or practice religion, I'm trying to tell you how dumb you really are. Take my warning and remember this, be lucky they went for the gays first, because when they come for you; I won't be around to protect your rights. I won't have rights. Because I'm one of those weird ones that although I'm in a relationship with a man, if he was a woman, I would still love her too. And I am willing to die or just fight for the rights for others, whether it affects me or not, even if that means I'm protecting you. (Who in turn is calling me a bad mother and telling me if my partner was a female our relationship shouldn't be validated if we wanted it to be.) 

Newsflash: Labor isn't as easy as they say it is...and I'm not talking about the pain either.

You knew it was coming.

A pregnancy blog post. You know, I could have started a new blog called Hannahkdeegetspregnant, but with my pregnancy, I am still finding feminism. And I am discovering a world in which I know little and the only thing that learning about feminism has assisted me in is being okay with either sex that pops out of me and maybe being a better advocate for my medical wishes.

Let me just preface this blog with a little thankful hint to my body. The first 8 months of this pregnancy, my body has had the strength to hold me up, only letting nausea be rare, the stretch marks to be few, the weight gain to be manageable. I have had little to complain about. I was one of the lucky ones.

When I got pregnant, I told myself: I AM NOT BECOMING THE TYPE OF WOMAN THAT COMPLAINS ABOUT THE HOW SHE WANTS THE BABY OUT. Nope, not me. I put that in caps because I truly believed that baby and my body knows best. Believed being the key word.

Then 35 weeks came along...the last week of the 8th month. Baby boy decided to hug my kidney (learned that after all this), and I was in so much pain I went to the hospital thinking: oh my god, my son is dying. For some reason, even though that thought flew though my head I was completely calm until the nurse told me I was dilated and that the "doctors don't stop labor after 35 weeks."

Wait, hold up. I am in labor?!?! I just thought my son was dying. You know the logical part of me would think that being in labor would be better than my future unborn son dying in me. But for some reason, the idea of being in labor scared the shit out of me way more.

Well, they ended up sending me home. They told me to come back when the contractions were worse (which I couldn't even feel because my kidney hurt so bad) and told me not to have sex until week 37. Oh and no nipple stimulation...something you don't really expect to do anyway. At least not me.

Well, I ended up getting to work that day just fine---Shaking off the pain of a baby dry humping my kidney and the thought of possibly being in labor. And then the next day, made it to work fine. Made it through work fine. Made it through the next day fine, too. Still no baby.

Wednesday comes along. I head to the hospital yet again. My contractions (which I have had painlessly and almost for the past month, by the way) were painful and they were coming every three to four minutes. I actually waited to call the hospital for three hours!!! But whatever, they told me to go home and that I "could be" in very early labor.

Well, I was pretty tired of the hospital by then. I thought the medical world was more advanced to tell me that I "might" be in labor or that I could be in "false labor". Why can't they know for sure? Are we too obsessed with finding the cure for some sort of terminal disease that will save millions of peoples lives? (The answer is yes....so thank you doctors.)

But I was also pretty sick of myself. Shouldn't I know? Shouldn't my body be doing what it is supposed to be and telling me when it is actually in labor instead of all this "fake" and "early" crap?

Movies make it out to be this huge dramatic thing where you rush to the hospital and are in total panic. Advocates of natural birth tell you to listen to your body and it will do what it is supposed to. Drug companies tell you the pain is gonna be so bad you are gonna need a needle in your back to deal (but don't worry that you may be paralyzed because of that...) You know what all those things have in common? YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN LABOR.  And you know that in some short and some long time you will have a baby out of you.

So it's not that I really want to have baby boy stop growing in me or baby boy to be early or baby boy to be on my schedule or that I am really sick of the pain of pregnancy. It's just I would like some concrete knowledge on what is the real thing. So yes, for the past three days I turned in to one of the dreaded women who say "I just want this baby out of me." And I felt so guilty.

Then I looked online. It turns out that a lot of people get sent home from the hospital for "not knowing" whether or not you are in labor or not. My body isn't the only one that is dumb. You know, during the childbirth class, they tell you: "oh well the nurses are used to sending people home. Don't feel bad." Well, I still felt bad. In fact, I was mad (I threw a few things when I got home---mostly my clothes in to the hamper) and I wanted a baby out of me so I didn't have to go through the hospital visits again. I actually started believing that I would never have this baby. That he would have to go to school and do things through the womb. My body just didn't work right.

But since reading comment after comment about being sent home, having lots of contractions, I don't feel too angry at myself or my body anymore. I guess I am ready to trust it again--maybe, if it's nice.

I am sure most of you are like...what the fudge this isn't about feminism or pop culture or like any of your other posts. And if you feel like you wasted your time, I am sorry. But the thing is: THEY DON'T TELL YOU THESE KINDS OF THINGS. I actually had to look at several blog posts for a few hours yesterday until I found a group of women that actually got sent home for similar reasons to me. That told me I was gonna be okay. I can make this last month, I will not turn in to a pregnant blob, and I will have this baby. Eventually. Maybe in a month, maybe a little more, maybe less. I might get up everyday wondering, "are these the real contractions?" But it's not because I want the baby out of me.

I just want to know if I'm gonna be a mom today for real or not.

My womanly destiny

What am I here on earth to do?

Surprisingly, my gender has nothing to do with the answer. I just am meant to live and hopefully be happy. Though I realized that if I asked some other people their statements would be quite different(for their lives and mine!!!).

For example, a friend acquaintance old high school buddy someone I knew basically told me that because I am a woman, my destiny in life is to be a loving mother and obedient wife. She gave my "husband" the job of protecting me because I am 'vulnerable' as a woman and basically told me that my only expectation should be being a good mother/wife. So that person was told to "eff off" in nicer terms and later deleted from my Facebook friends list. (I just couldn't get over the fact that someone would tell me what she believes I should do with my life and still be allowed to be my friend...that's not friendly, that's rude.)

Although, I aspire to be a good mother and hopefully a good (read) partner! I have no desire to be just that. I don't think I would be happy or content being just that. I am NOT talking down to stay at home mom's here, or people who are content being an obedient wife. If that is the choice you made and you are happy with it, I am happy for you. Promise. But for my own life, I would rather choose if that is the one for me.

And luckily, thanks to the feminist movement I can choose.

Here are the wonderful things that the past feminists movements help women, men and children do:*

• have a say in our government. Thank you feminists for the right to vote. 
• be our own person. Thank you feminists for helping me be a person and not a piece of property to my father or my husband. 
• fairness in education. Thank you feminists for opening the doors for schooling (which I so love). 
• fairness in sports. Thank you feminists for allowing us the right to enjoy playing sports and have equal access with men to do so. 
• have access and say in their reproductive lives. Thank you feminists for the access of reproductive care, birth control, sexual health education and any other thing that will help us be responsible humans with children. 
• created programs to help victims of so  many types of abuse become survivors. Thank you feminists for working hard for the victims who so often can not speak for themselves. 

So thank you feminism...and no thank you ex-facebook friend for your offer of having me "remember" what I am here on earth for. I'll be in charge of that, thank you. 

*This list is in no way complete or ALL of the work feminists have done in order to protect our lives. But in my life, this is what I benefit from most thanks to feminists. Feel free to add your own. 

Back from Vacation?: I hope so

I have debated whether I want to start writing in this blog or not again. I do miss getting feedback, but more likely I miss being more politically involved. I am going to try to connect my life experiences with feminism and connect it to the big issues in the U.S. (and the world) today.

What have I been doing for the last few months? Good question. I'll sum it up for you.

• I have been pregnant. Yup, another feminist bringing a child in this world. Don't worry GOP, I'll make sure he has a choice to be on your side. I will try not to make him gay for you. (Sarcasm...how I love thee).
• Working, working, working. I have had a full time job this whole summer. First, I started at an amazing feminist non-profit organization. I loved it there, but I wasn't really good at it. And driving to St. Paul everyday was kind of stressful. Luckily, I received a job at another amazing (though not feminist) non-profit that does pay me a bit more and has better hours for a soon to be mom and grad student.
• Reading. I hope to share what I have learned about the death penalty, Pope Joan, being a mama's boy and well, Stephen King. 
• Moving in to my own place (with my supportive partner) and adopting a kitty with disabilities. 

Getting out of that toxic environment that I lived and worked in was definitely something I needed. I am ready to be successful in graduate school with out the drama of trying to figure out why my life was spiraling so much out of control because of work issues. Luckily, I currently have a very healthy atmosphere at work and at home now, so I feel as though I can once again do what I love....which is to learn and share what I learn. 

So is this the end of the year hiatus? I hope so. 

American Breeders.

I hate to break it to you. But women are only here to breed and sustain the population. Anything that would harm a fetus whether the women is pregnant or not, should be illegal.

Of course, that is not what I believe. But the government in Arizona wants it to be law. Stating that "life" begins at the first day of a women's last menstrual period. Right now, it is just a law to state that abortions should happen "earlier" in pregnancy. But the backlash could be horrendous. I could see alcohol bans on any women that is sexual active and in fertile years, because it could harm the fetus...even though the fetus does not exist yet. I could see women getting "turned down" for insurance, apartments, job opportunities, because they could possibly get pregnant.

I'm scared for the future of the United States. When they even consider bills like Arizona House Bill 2036, it shows the lack of education on long term impact of bills. It's not even the bill that is the problem, it is the backlash that would happen around the country if the bill is passed to women of fertile age.

As a young woman, I have the ability to choose whether or not I want to become a mother. I should have the ability to plan when I get pregnant. Just because I am at an age where I can become pregnant, does not mean that every decision should be faced around the care of my uterus and possible womb for my future children.

Cosmo could be connected to Child Sexual Predators?

There is not a word in my brain that describes the magazine known as Cosmopolitan. If you read this blog AND read Cosmo, you should stop at least one. I'm not trying to lose readers, I am just being blunt. If there is one anti-feminist and anti-women magazine out there, it would be Cosmopolitan.

Trust me, I used to be a reader of Cosmo. I used to eye sweep the articles about makeup, fashion and sex on a regular basis. Then something happened to me, I started realizing how badly I felt about myself after I read them. I remember cutting out pictures of the models and saying "I will look like this!" Even though the model was slightly anorexic and looked nothing like me.

Some women state that Cosmo is the "Women's Bible", but the only thing it really does is tell you how to sex up your boyfriend, husband and male lover. Or tell you how to do the perfect orgasm, which incidentally, includes your man friend. (So essentially the tips are just for straight women!) It also includes interviews of stars who brag about their lifestyle, tell them how great their relationships are and then tell their haters to stop hating because they are ugly. Great.

Sometimes it includes great tips about fitness, but usually does not educate women on the risks of overexercising, anorexia, bulimia or body image issues. Sometimes it has a page or two on social justice issues, but it's usually the latest fab or celebrity issue asking for money. It does not actually give average people the chance to make change unless they donate money.

Finally, what drew me to the pages today was a young women I worked with looking at the "hot meter" of celebrity men. Daniel Radcliffe was at the bottom for what? He decided to share that he prefers his women more natural down there. And you know what Cosmo said about that.....GROSS! That made me step back and say, wait what? That should be considered a good thing?!?! Shaving your pubic area makes you more susceptible to bacteria...it also reminds child predators about children. Think about it when was the last time you saw your area hairless if you don't shave it regularly....pre-puberty right? I'm not saying men who prefer it hairless is a predator but I am saying it has an interesting similarity!

Alright, don't put down your Cosmo yet. Take a look at what messages it gives you before you do. Make a choice, what is Cosmo feeding you? A heterosexual men dominated lifestyle that ignores the real issues faced by women across the world...that's not something that I want to read. If it's what you want to read or you get something different from it, let me know. That's what comments are for.

"People will put their two-cents in"

And what's with that?

Telling people of my plans to live close to plastic and waste free as I can. I get judged and I get told that it can't be done. I then lead them to websites where I prove to them it can be done and on a budget none the less. Still disbelief, still judgement, but I move on.

Now more than ever, I am being told what to do, what to eat and what to use on my body. And you know what? Keep it to yourself. I could handle people calling me weird when I told them I used my eco friendly pads and diva cup. But now? I have much less patience for people who think they "know the right way". I usually lose my patience around the time when people say "good luck with that!" with extreme judgement and obvious sarcasm. Most of these people have not even been in my situation before and therefore, should not be talking.

Frankly, I am pissed. People have even been telling me who to vote for. I am fine with people sharing why they are voting for Republican/Democrat. But I don't like the system we have right now, so I am not voting for either of those candidates. Obviously our government is failing us, and we need to get a different party in office to try and change things. Yes, a different party. Yes that means I am voting independent candidate. Yes, I know they are likely not to win. But that is not the reason I am voting. I am voting for my values and not the likelihood that they will win. Don't put your two cents in on that thank you very much. I know what I am doing with my vote and I am using it.

I am also pissed for people that think that ALL of Obama's life should be scrutinized. He goes on vacation? Suddenly the world is going crazy, he is wasting tax payers dollars!!! (or his....you know...salary he gets for being a president?) His wife is a bitch? He's is a push over. (I do not know if Michelle Obama is a bitch, she does not look like a dog to me, but people have their names for her.)

I'm pissed when people generalize groups of people. Republicans are bigots. Democrats are big money spenders that give out money to people who don't deserve it. Socialists are BAD. Teen moms are whores. Young moms are lazy who just want to be housewives and not go to college/get a job. People on welfare are no good and lazy people using the system. College students don't care. Girls start drama. Gays and Lesbians are sluts. Black people are gangsters. Mexicans are dirty. Cowboys ride horses.

For every generalization you make, I can come up with individuals who fit that description but not the generalization. How about you get to know the person THEN see what that kind of person they are? How about you just get to know the person and not make judgements at all? Or how about you don't share your advice with judgement and criticism and just try to help a person?

Who has the right to tell me what to do? I am my own person. I should have the choice and the option to live my life the way I would like to live it. The way I want to live it. If you have doubts that I will be able to do it, I don't want to hear it. If you have support and helpful tips, let me have it. Don't base your two-cents in criticism of my dreams and beliefs. Don't judge me because that is not the way you would do it yourself.

To make it easier for people who are dumb, I created this visual representation.

Fears but Conquers

I have fears. I know I seem fearless to some, but I do have fears. Yes, I post video blogs to how I respond to hatred and ignorance in the workplace. Yes, I blog about not shaving and using environmental friendly pads and cups for my menstrual cycle. Yes, I am sex-positive and rape-hating. Yes, I talk about feminist issues to anyone who will listen(or who won't) to me on a daily basis. That does not make me fearless.

The biggest thing I worry about is the reality that I might not go out everyday and change people's minds. I might not leave the world a better place when I leave it. That I might do nothing.

And I am not doing nothing, but is the impact being nothing. I haven't been blogging lately, and really it is a mixture of reasons. I have been really busy. Last semester all I felt like I was doing was homework. This semester, I feel overwhelmed with personal issues (the destruction of my cast, the creeper who won't leave me alone, job applications) and Students For Sexual Consent Presidency. All and All, I am doing something. I am hoping that I will change the world while I do this thing.

And changing the world is a full-time job. It also comes with this depressing fact, that I might not accomplish it. Actually, it won't happen. I know it won't. But I do it anyway. I set small goals and go out there to make them happen. I hope that others will learn from it. I hope that I learn from it.

Anyway, today was a good day. I realized that some people will just not support me all the way. Whatever. But I also realized that applying for jobs can and will pay off. I got a potential interview with a very good organization for Women's Rights in the future. So that's looking up for me.

I have a lot of changing happening in my life in the next few months. I hope to keep all my readers-old and new updated on what I am learning.

I feel powerless. I haven't felt this powerless in years.

I found myself in an uncomfortable situation and with the situations I have been going through I was not able to function or be of defense of myself like I normally would. I tried to advocate for myself, to explain the feelings I had, but he was either unwilling to listen or did not understand the feelings I have.

My sense of security is shattered. Some days I have good days, some days I am scared to death to trust anyone around me and shut up faster than a clam. Today was one of those days. I can not begin to articulate how these events have affected my well beings. Sometimes I can concentrate in classes, on homework and can function. Other days I sit there like a zombie barely getting through the day, close to tears if anyone asks how I am.

I want out; I want my power back; I want this all to end. When I think of my cast being destroyed, it destroys a part of me that I worked so hard to build up. A confident young women who does not let anyone use her, that does not let anyone mistreat her. How can they destroy this in one action? It's been three days but it might as well be a lifetime.

People are messed up

I don't vlog much but this was something I had to say.

Body Language

I use to be the kind of woman that you could always count on being at the gym. And don't get me wrong, I love working out and I enjoy it very much.

But I realized this past year where I was not found at the gym all the time, made me realize that my body is my body. And I kind of, sort of like it. ha! Just kidding, I love my body.

Yes, I am not super fit, but I'm healthy. I realized that I will never have the body I want to have. No matter how hard I try. (Trust me, I tried hard.) My legs are lumpy, my stomach sometimes is a tummy, my calves are over defined, and sometimes I have triple chins. No matter how hard I worked to get my body as defined as my calves, my calves were the only ones picking up the slack.

I don't eat a lot of candy all the time, I like eating, but really don't have an eating problem. I eat when I am hungry and eat what I am hungry for. I could lay off the french fries some more, and I ate a whole bag of Reese's hearts this week because well, I bought it. I don't work out for two hours a day anymore and I am often too tired to run faster or push myself harder. But yet, when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I recognize my flaws, but I am fine with them.

It's weird because I used to be such an avid exerciser, like obsessively avid. And at that time I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. Then one day, I was watching a slide show of the pictures of training for my job this summer and there I was. I didn't even recognize myself. I was far from emaciated, but it was like I was thinner then what I saw in the mirror. I literally didn't exist on the side angle. I thought I was this thick disgusting woman that need to drop a few pounds and get rid of my rolls, but this picture scared me. I remember looking at my friend and saying "I really don't exist do I?"

This changed my habits. I started working out when I felt like it and stopped worrying so much about what I put in my mouth. The past five months of doing this, has made me realize and accept my body for what it is. Perfect. I still get that high after working out and now I stuff my face with food if I really like the food that is given to me. My eating habits are "normal", I eat when I am hungry, whenever that is. I am listening to my body.

I wish more women could accept their body and love their body for what it is. Perfect. I know women who work out constantly, work out until they are literally falling over from exhaustion, that is not right, that is not cool. Your body is not going to treat you right from that treatment.

So final analysis, I love my body and now I am going for a walk to show it that.

My vagina needs a nip tuck...no seriously

I was 17 years old when I first heard of the nip tucks being done on women's external genitals. This made me nervous, I didn't know your genitals had to be perfect. How do I know if they are perfect? Can I see a picture?

Later, I watched a "Sex and the City" episode where Charlotte finally uses a mirror to explore herself. Aha! That's how I know if it will be perfect or not.

So I went to the bathroom later that night and found a mirror. As I looked at it, I found so much wrong with every thing. My lips were too big, they were flappy. I have flappy lips. I do not want flappy lips. I immediately called my boyfriend at the time..."I need to have surgery down there...my lips are too flappy."

"Wait what? You're lips, huh?" He replied and I could tell he really wasn't interested in my flappy lips.

"Fine! You can deal with my flappy lips! God you are so inconsiderate!" I hung up and obsessed over it by myself.

While reading my newest book about Feminism "Full Frontal Feminism" by Jessica Valenti, she discusses how in Africa this surgery is called FGM-female genital mutilation. And in America this is called "cosmetic surgery".

Shows just how hypocritical our beliefs our. FGM is wrong, but having a doctor try and change your lips is right? What is wrong with that?

I am no longer obsessive over my fat lips. Who cares if my lips are Angelina Jolie sized down there...I thought she was supposed to be hot anyway? But the fact that for months I wondered how I could afford this surgery scares me. At the same time I was learning about FGM and did not connect the two together. I was appalled by FGM but accepted the views of a perfect vagina. (Which isn't anatomically right anyway, my "lips" are actually the labia which is part of the female Vulva---which is NOT a car).

In fact, I did not connect it until today when I was reading that chapter by Valenti on beauty. Just ridiculous. I had forgot about my freak out over my fat Angelina lips.

And when I read this over, trying to correct my bad grammar and spelling. I notice just how messed up our beauty standards are. We can have big lips on our face....but not down there? Please. We can criticize cultural practices for tradition across the world, but practice the same thing in America just for beauty. Why is everything so backwards? Why can't I love my big Angelina lips and my little ears?

And who tells me I can't? Because I actually do. I am not going to waste 40,000 dollars on a surgery when I can spend it on school, that's more than the loans I have taken out for school right now anyway. Even though my thighs are thunderous, why can't that be beautiful? Because I am beautiful. And what makes me beautiful is not the size of my lips, or my little ears, or my thunder thighs; it is my passion for helping people. It is my passion for caring. It is my personality. Not my looks, it was never my looks that made me beautiful.

Beauty should never be on the outside; And more Americans need to learn this before they have their labia messed with.(And use the right terminology!!! Vagina is on the inside!!!)

Good Intent sometimes does not have good impact

If there is something that disgusts me more is when people "victim blame". Our society is full of that. But something that I haven't realized is that sometimes, victim blaming has good intentions. What do I mean by that?

I certainly do not mean that victim blaming is good. I am not saying that.Victim blaming is bad. And no victim of domestic abuse or sexual assault is never at blame!!! Never!

Here is what I mean. Consider my friends Facebook status for example:

Is at the library, catching up on some silent study time .... and I happen to look over my shoulder and see a man in his late 40's behind me obviously searching and looking at young teenage girl's provocative photo's on facebook.... he had a wedding ring on and a nasty grin on his ugly face. This is where tragic news stories begin little girls! have respect for yourselves and your bodies! because to this perverted piece of slime behind me, your just an object.... as for him: You give me all the more inspiration to pursue my criminal law degree so I can become the prosecutor that puts scum bags like you in prison .... of course me and my big mouth couldn't just express this on here and as he got up to leave i blatantly said "you will reap what you sew" and continued my reading .... lord bless his soul.

Does anyone else see what is wrong with this status? Pay attention to this fragment of this quote:

This is where tragic news stories begin little girls! have respect for yourselves and your bodies! because to this perverted piece of slime behind me, your just an object....

What? Although this friend was obviously not saying that sexual assault is good. In fact, she was saying it was bad. How are we "little girls" supposed to have respect for our bodies when society does not? This fragment is victim blaming, though that is not the intent.

This reminds me of a workshop I attended this January. It was called "35 Dumb Things Well Intended People Say that Widen the Diversity Gap". We discussed issues like this one. Where the person, obviously had good intent, but it came out all wrong. Just because you had good intent, does not mean your statement will have good impact.

Don't victim blame. It is never good. Always remember the person at fault for the crime that happens is the person that perpetrated it.

That's IT

I'm VERY excited for this next semester.

Because first of all, for one of my classes, I HAVE to blog. Which means I will be informing you all again about feminism and other things I want to rant educationally about. And then secondly, 3 out of the 4 classes I have are going to be interesting, fun, exciting and filled with information for my life.

Expect to see more posts these next few weeks. I am taking less credits, not involved on an E-board and trying to enjoy my last semester of my undergraduate.

I'm taking my Senior Capstone course and am very excited about the work we may do. We were talking about the issues we go through for being a feminist, having feminist ideals and etc. And a lot of us shared instances where we were attacked (don't worry, it was mostly verbal attacks and have not heard of any hospitalizations) for our feminist beliefs.

Wouldn't it be great to have a more confident feminist to call during those times? Or another feminist at all? "Here is what I am feeling; is that okay?" conversation. Suddenly, a mentor program popped in to my head. We need to get the Women's Studies students together at once, regardless of major, minor, interests and year in school and we need to build a community. Many of the women in that class, I wish I knew last year, or the year before, or my whole life. (But mostly my college experience...)

We need to have calling chains, texting lines, regular lunches and dinner together. We need to have a sisterhood, invite our pro-feminist brothers. We need to be supportive of our achievements and share them outloud.

But mostly, we just need to be together more.

Welcome 2012!!!

2011 was great, but difficult. I look forward to 2012.

I plan to be healthier as the last 4 months of 2011, I resulted in unhealthy eating and exercise habits. I am giving up Diet Coke and trying to go chemical free. Remember when I went veggie in March? Well, that was just the beginning. I learned that not only am I a pretty awesome vegetarian but I am a wonderful humanitarian and environmentalist.

Last year, I also started using Lunapad products for my menstrual cycle. At first, I was so excited for my period to come so I could test these products! That I paid for. Now I am a confident Lunapad and Diva Cup user. I advocate for women to talk about this product, to consider it and to make sure that they have considered all their options. Some ladies think it is gross that I would talk openly about "Aunt Flow", but like any taboo in culture, not talking about it could lead to some disastrous results. Like not talking about sexual assault, could in fact, silence the many female and male victims to internalize their pain. That's why we have a Sexual Assault Awareness month across the world, to perhaps give voices to the survivors that need to heal. We go through our period for 3 to 7 days a month, that is around 36 to 84 days A YEAR. That's over a month that we have to put tampons in and take them out, deal with bloody underwear, leaks, and stains, be uncomfortable in plastic pads and most importantly, be reminded that we are WOMEN. So let's forget the grossness and remember that we have to deal with it, no matter how silent we make the issue.

In 2011, I stopped shaving for awhile. And believe me, the hits on that blog post was one of the most! How controversial was that blog post? And if that was controversial how is this, I almost never shave, ever. The last time I shaved my legs was in June and the last time I shaved my armpits was in December. How can a personal choice be controversial? Because beauty is commercialized, reproduced in advertisements and films. Beauty is not a personal choice anymore, I doubt it ever was. But you can still choose to make it one!

My single days closed in late July, when I started dating Seth. But that wasn't until after I explored my single life as a feminist woman. I wrote many pieces in which I gave advice to both sexes, here, and here. I reacted to a pop song about an end of a relationship, here. I also created a beautiful equation about feminist relationships that I hoped my romantic relationships would follow, here. I also looked at relationships that doesn't include a man and a woman, maybe it was a man and a man or a woman and a woman. I looked at what the media made us internalize, what was okay and what wasn't. Being single was fabulous, but I have a wonderful partner now and enjoy being in a relationship just as much (sometimes more) than being single. My romance adventures got a lot of hits in 2011, here.

In 2011, I also started looking for male acquaintances that I would consider feminist. I found a ton of men I knew that could be feminist. Not all men are oppressive, actually most can be supportive. You just have to make sure that communication is open and kind to each other.

2012 is gonna be a great year of blog posts and life. So keep reading!!! :)