Cosmo could be connected to Child Sexual Predators?

There is not a word in my brain that describes the magazine known as Cosmopolitan. If you read this blog AND read Cosmo, you should stop at least one. I'm not trying to lose readers, I am just being blunt. If there is one anti-feminist and anti-women magazine out there, it would be Cosmopolitan.

Trust me, I used to be a reader of Cosmo. I used to eye sweep the articles about makeup, fashion and sex on a regular basis. Then something happened to me, I started realizing how badly I felt about myself after I read them. I remember cutting out pictures of the models and saying "I will look like this!" Even though the model was slightly anorexic and looked nothing like me.

Some women state that Cosmo is the "Women's Bible", but the only thing it really does is tell you how to sex up your boyfriend, husband and male lover. Or tell you how to do the perfect orgasm, which incidentally, includes your man friend. (So essentially the tips are just for straight women!) It also includes interviews of stars who brag about their lifestyle, tell them how great their relationships are and then tell their haters to stop hating because they are ugly. Great.

Sometimes it includes great tips about fitness, but usually does not educate women on the risks of overexercising, anorexia, bulimia or body image issues. Sometimes it has a page or two on social justice issues, but it's usually the latest fab or celebrity issue asking for money. It does not actually give average people the chance to make change unless they donate money.

Finally, what drew me to the pages today was a young women I worked with looking at the "hot meter" of celebrity men. Daniel Radcliffe was at the bottom for what? He decided to share that he prefers his women more natural down there. And you know what Cosmo said about that.....GROSS! That made me step back and say, wait what? That should be considered a good thing?!?! Shaving your pubic area makes you more susceptible to bacteria...it also reminds child predators about children. Think about it when was the last time you saw your area hairless if you don't shave it regularly....pre-puberty right? I'm not saying men who prefer it hairless is a predator but I am saying it has an interesting similarity!

Alright, don't put down your Cosmo yet. Take a look at what messages it gives you before you do. Make a choice, what is Cosmo feeding you? A heterosexual men dominated lifestyle that ignores the real issues faced by women across the world...that's not something that I want to read. If it's what you want to read or you get something different from it, let me know. That's what comments are for.

Saving the world is a full-time job

As I was running today, I was hit with this total sense of frustration. I feel like I am not doing enough to 'save the world.' Courtney Martin spoke to my campus a few weeks ago and said to count your failures as blessings. I definitely have tried. It's just so hard.

But I agree with her, failures are something. They may not be what you want. You can't always get what you want. Fact of life. And I'd rather fail then do nothing. Doing nothing is, well, nothing.

Back to the frustration, I do not know what triggered this sense of anger but I really wanted to just, ugh, I do not know. CHANGE SOMETHING. And I realized that most of the time instead of changing behaviors, I am enabling them.

Let's face it, people are not going to stop rape jokes when you ask them, too. Even if you are a survivor of sexual assault and you tell them that it triggers memories. Not all people are going to see the sticky floor or glass ceiling that minorities go through in education, in the job market, in their careers---even if you point the facts out every time they call a minority lazy or stupid. People will constantly make fat jokes, they will constantly make sexist jokes, racist jokes, classist jokes, hetereosexist/homophobic jokes---even if you tell them you do not appreciate it.

And I sit there in my classrooms, in my organizations, in my work, at family functions and I wonder, is it worth it to point out that it makes you uncomfortable? that it makes you sick to be around them? Most of the time I say: NO, because it won't change their opinion.

The thing is: I don't care if you think it is funny. I don't care if you don't mean it. It's wrong. It's disrespectful. It's so many things in one statement and action. If you say it, you support it.

But if you don't say something, do you support it? Some people say silence is worse then doing the crime.

About two weeks ago, I was waiting outside for a taxi at a hotel and there was a family walking inside. It was about 11 o'clock at night. The dad was not in a good mood that night. He had taken his oldest son (maybe not his son, but either way) away from the 'mom' figure and was screaming at him. I tried not to listen, but it was not positive. I heard threats to this young man's life, I heard insults. It was verbal abuse. No doubt about it. But I just stood there with my date and my sorority sisters pretending it wasn't happening.

I wanted to say something so badly. I couldn't believe I didn't. It makes me so angry about all the injustices I should have done something about. I constantly say "it's not my business" or "it doesn't affect me", and then I don't do anything about it. But when does it affect me? When I am finally a victim? I don't want to be a victim of something that someone could have stopped! Why am I letting others be the victim for me?

Tired of being a bystander and no longer willing to let the little things slide, I'm turning over a new leaf. The thing is, what leaf should I flip over first?

It's not that different...

There is too much hate in this world, already, to begin to hate people who just love others.

I started today working on homework for my German Class. For some reason, I started thinking about gay rights. *Gay rights is more than just marriage, but because it seems like people focus only on that, I choose to do so here too. Please remember that gay rights is also the fight to end discrimination of homosexuals in the work place, end hate crimes of homosexuals around the world, and so much more than just marriage rights. *

I find that gay rights really align paralleled to any historical 'equal rights' battle across this nation. Women have not even had the right to vote for 100 years now, it was only 43 years ago yesterday that Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated for his participation in Civil rights. If you believe women voting is a good thing and if you believe that Civil Rights is also a good thing, then what makes gay marriage so different?

Marriage is a personal act. A personal act between two people. Everyone is entitled to their feelings on homosexuality, but when it comes to marriage, I believe no one is entitled to say who marries whom. No one except for the people getting married, now they are really entitled to say something.

Now, I understand the whole religious perspective, I do. But religion and government should not play a role in each other. End of story. Yet- I know that is impossible, since peoples morals and ideals are part of their thinking process. And those morals and ideals usually stem from religious backgrounds. I'm asking people to take a step back, would their God hate people for loving people?

The last thing I ever want anyone to do is to hate others just because of whom they love. If Jane loves Jenny, then who am I to say no? If Bob loves Jim, then what is the matter? As long as both of them are respectful and kind to each other, then it is not a problem to me. It just seems so silly of me to hate someone because of love. It's ironic. And backwards.

Feminism and women's rights advocates fight for gay rights. And should fight for gay rights, not only because some women are lesbians, but because the women's fight has been in the same situation in maybe a different medium, time and time before. We can help their movement, and with that, create our movement, where our people are free to do what they please and where love is treated as such, and not hated.

"You know, we're not so different, you and I. "