Movies && Pregnancy

I am moving away from porn today and on to 'real' hollywood movies.

I have been using my mom's netflix account to watch movies lately. (Thanks, Mom!) I've been watching a few movies that have to deal with woman and their reproductive system. In other words, these women are normally preggo. Since some women choose to have children, I thought this would be interesting to share what I thought of these movies in a slightly feminist perspective.

Baby on Board
I started with a movie called "Baby on Board". I know, I know, I should have known it was going to be bad from that title, but I wanted to give it a chance. The movie was hands down a waste of my time.

Even though the writers tried to make Heather Graham's character a career woman, she was far from one. She stated she put her career first over her personal life, but the movie showed her constantly having to put her career on the backburner for her husband. Typical.

Her marriage, which was described as "perfect" in the description, was a trainwreck from the beginning. The relationship between her and her husband is immature, not developed and lacks adult communication.(I hated the fact that the husband 'forgot' to put on protection while they were having sexy time. Not cool. Divorce him. )

Frankly, I thought they had spent more time on Graham's hair then the writing of the script. And even though the movie is supposed to be about Graham's characters pregnancy, they spent more time on the husbands law partner extramartial concerns.

The People I've Slept With
I thought I would be more impressed with 'The People I've Slept With' then 'Baby On Board' and although it was a 'more feminist movie'. I do have some concerns.

The main character is Asian American and very independent on her own. When she finds out she is expecting, her decision to keep the baby is because her sister told her 'she's getting old and someday it will be harder to conceive'. She works for an art store and is an aspiring artist.

I didn't understand why she was so concerned with finding a 'husband'. She seemed fine on her own and did not buy in to a lot of the crap her older sister was feeding her. It did not seem to me that her father and sister and friends would let her and her child on their own. Which made me think that her search to find a husband was just a plot for the film. It was unbelievable, so to say.

BUT after you get through the 1950s themed part of the movie, it ended in a feminist, modern way. And it was always focused on her choices and conflicts, not the rest of the people around her.

Women In Trouble
If you want to see women sexualized, degraded and in stereotypical roles and relationships- this is the movie for you. It minimizes woman's issues and leaves most of the issues unresolved. There is a few funny lines in this movie, because most of the women are perceived to be unintelligent. For example: "No one thinks it can happen to them, but anyone could get a Ph.D. Make sure you get tested twice a year."

Barry Munday
The last movie that was about modern day pregnancy was 'Barry Munday'. Although this focused on a man's viewpoint, I think this was the best movie I've seen in a long time. Since it started with Barry getting punished for being a womanizer, I felt like that was an extreme way to forgive Barry's womanzing behaviors.

The movie was really sweet. But it's sad to think that a guy has to lose his 'balls' in order to be a respectful and decent man.

What am I trying to get at in this post?

These movies are about an extremely personal issue that affects women. But yet, you can sense, or know, a male presence in all of these women's lives. And I'm not saying that woman should be selfish and make it all about them, but shouldn't there be more women perspectives about this issue in movies?

I'm just a little sick of watching movies, thinking that they are going to be about real life women and hearing offensive sexist remarks, watching stereotypical characters and finding a male-centered cast. Way to put us women in our place, Hollywood.

Can Porn be Women-Positive?

I hate porn.

I'll admit it. The little porn I have seen had me reeling back in disgust.

Hanging out with my guys friends after our first year of college was interesting because it had seemed they had lost all filters with me. They explored the internet in front of me and laughed at the disgusting porn they came across.

I laughed from what I could see in between my fingers, too. Then I remembered that they were real people and that most of these people were getting hurt.

I don't think erotic images are bad. And I do not think sexualization is necessarily a bad thing.

But I think women who are porn stars or 'escorts' or strippers are doing it wrong.

Yes, you heard me. They are doing 'it' wrong.

It's common fact among scholars that investigate the sex industry that most women in the sex industry may not see a lot of what they earn. Porn stars have agents, Escorts have johns and strippers...well, strippers are stripping in a joint that is usually owned by someone other than them. Most of their money that they earn go to those 'third parties'.

Agents, Johns and Owners of strip clubs are usually men.

So women are selling their bodies to men, to give more money to men.

That doesn't sound very sexually liberating to me.

As I searched for statistics on how much a women in the sex industry makes in a lifetime, I realized that I wouldn't find a lot of results. Sites like this one focused on how much money the 'porn industry' makes overall and who pays for it.

They didn't split up where this profit goes. My guess is that most of the money goes to the producers of these films, not the actresses. My guess is that these producers are mainly men.

My point? Women in the sex industry need to take control. They deserve most of that profit that the porn industry brings in. In order for these career choices to be liberating, they need to be making the majority of the big bucks.

Yes, I'm saying that women need to be the owners of porn companies. Why? Because they are the one being degraded, used, and sexualized on computers and televisions screens across the world.

When I brought this up to my guy friends, they scoffed at me. "Women don't know what a man wants in bed." They told me. I looked at them with disgust, "You're telling me that you've never been satisfied by a women in bed before, now that's kind of sad." Yes, women know what you want in bed, women satisfy you, why can't they take over the porn industry?

I believe that women can use their sexuality to get ahead in life. I believe in choices and that in the right cases, women can be financially stable and fiscally responsible from the porn industry. It's a women's body and her choice to make, but let's make sure it's a good choice to make and that she isn't being cheated.

But let's do this right. Let's make the sexualization of women's body's our choice and to our benefit. That's a fair compromise, if you can't beat them, make money off them.

(Note: I focused on straight porn, I tried to find studies on gay porn because I heard that gay porn is more 'healthy' in the terms of income for the actors, I could not find any. I do not know if the sexualization of gay men is an issue.)

Don't forget the Boys...?

http://www.achilleseffect.com/

I found this great site, that I think really helps support the issues feminists are trying to change.

A lot of people believe that feminism is for women only and for women issues, but I have found in my studies so far that it does not encompasses just 'women' issues.

Feminism is about:

1. changing the society so that it does not oppress women.

2. tackling the practices that make women oppressed.

Let's look at the first statement, changing society. Does society just affect women? No. It affects everyone in it. So obviously the same society is going to affect the men too. That is why this site is so cool. It shows that feminists can not just look at the women's issues and expect everything to be changed! Feminist also have to change the issues that affect men! Gender stereotypes do not just oppress girls and women, they also hinder men! (Notice, I use hinder and not oppress, men can not be oppressed!)

Let's look at the second statement, tackle the practices that oppress women. I think that is pretty straight forward, women are oppressed, therefore lets stop the practices and other issues that oppress women. First, let's recognize these practices. Second, let's see the context of these practices, let's fully understand. Third, feminists ask "do we have any say to change these practices, how can we do it?"

The common misconception is that feminism is all about women. But it's not all about women, because these issues do affect all. "The Archilles Effect" looks at this and tackles the issues that affect men. Taken from the about section, "The pop culture environment that surrounds boys introduces them to a world where traditionally masculine traits—like toughness, aggression, and stoicism—are highly esteemed and where female influence is all but absent."

It's definitely an interesting site and it is worth a look! And the nice thing is, even though it focuses on masculinities, it looks at gender as a whole too!

(Note: There are several views of feminism. I am looking at the general definition.)

It's not that different...

There is too much hate in this world, already, to begin to hate people who just love others.

I started today working on homework for my German Class. For some reason, I started thinking about gay rights. *Gay rights is more than just marriage, but because it seems like people focus only on that, I choose to do so here too. Please remember that gay rights is also the fight to end discrimination of homosexuals in the work place, end hate crimes of homosexuals around the world, and so much more than just marriage rights. *

I find that gay rights really align paralleled to any historical 'equal rights' battle across this nation. Women have not even had the right to vote for 100 years now, it was only 43 years ago yesterday that Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated for his participation in Civil rights. If you believe women voting is a good thing and if you believe that Civil Rights is also a good thing, then what makes gay marriage so different?

Marriage is a personal act. A personal act between two people. Everyone is entitled to their feelings on homosexuality, but when it comes to marriage, I believe no one is entitled to say who marries whom. No one except for the people getting married, now they are really entitled to say something.

Now, I understand the whole religious perspective, I do. But religion and government should not play a role in each other. End of story. Yet- I know that is impossible, since peoples morals and ideals are part of their thinking process. And those morals and ideals usually stem from religious backgrounds. I'm asking people to take a step back, would their God hate people for loving people?

The last thing I ever want anyone to do is to hate others just because of whom they love. If Jane loves Jenny, then who am I to say no? If Bob loves Jim, then what is the matter? As long as both of them are respectful and kind to each other, then it is not a problem to me. It just seems so silly of me to hate someone because of love. It's ironic. And backwards.

Feminism and women's rights advocates fight for gay rights. And should fight for gay rights, not only because some women are lesbians, but because the women's fight has been in the same situation in maybe a different medium, time and time before. We can help their movement, and with that, create our movement, where our people are free to do what they please and where love is treated as such, and not hated.

"You know, we're not so different, you and I. "

Leaving Women's Health up to the Woman.

I was unsure of what to call this post at first. It was at first going to be: why all feminists should be pro-choice. Then I considered: why all women should be pro-choice. Then I even thought to consider: Why EVERYONE should be pro-choice.

Then I thought, it shouldn't be anyone's choice but the woman who makes it. Of course, with any medical procedure, her doctor should have a say, too. And with any decision, a woman may choose to involve the people she loves. But overall, a woman's choice is that. A WOMAN CHOICE.

I don't hate babies. I don't hate kids. There is no 'buts' to those sentences. I love both those things, even babies when they look like blue little aliens. (Side note: If my children don't look like blue little aliens when they are born, I am going to be very disappointed!)

Abortions are a necessary evil. Especially when birth control is costing more than Viagra is. (Look it up, most birth control options are more expensive!) If we had more affordable birth control, or even more accessible education, abortion would not be an option for most people.

That last paragraph is one of my main points through out the abortion debate!! I almost always bring it up!

Moving on, speaking of necessary evils. Sex is also a necessary evil. With out sex, how could one reproduce? I'm a little sarcastic on that one, but I will be the first and the last one to say: that sex with a consensual partner is damn goooooood.

So we can't stop people from having sex. We shouldn't stop women from having abortion. Logical? Right?

Wrong.

Can I get radical feminist here? Men want to control women. They benefit by controlling women. Having a child puts a damper on your education, your career, your finances? Therefore, men can get paid more, men can get a 'better' education and men can be in control. They benefit.

But let's be real, sometimes that is not why people are pro-life. They want to save a human life.

A human life. Frankly, I'm not going in to that whole argument about what is life. I'm not. It's just too complicated and I do not know a lot about biology to fight that.

So we are going to move on...so anyway, I came across this image on my tumblr. It said, "are you pro-choice, then google abortion and click images, are you still anti-life?"

Now there is a few things wrong with that in the first place...I wouldn't trust the images in Google a 100% of the time and I wouldn't want to see what remains from an abortion anyway. I know what happens, I know what goes down there, I can imagine what it looks like, Thank you. An image is worth 1000 words until you learn the context, then it is worth like 100? Critical reasoning....who took the picture? when did they take it? is this actually from an abortion?

What was under the picture was more informing, it talked about the women who made the choice to have an illegal abortion. In other words, the women who lived in the times where Roe v. Wade wasn't around.

They talked about one story in particular. A 28-year-old's woman who choose to have an abortion because she feared for the safety of her life from her husband. Her name was Gerri Santoro. She and her boyfriend attempted an 'at home' abortion because this was before the time of Roe v. Wade

She died and the picture of her death has been floating around supporting the pro-choice movement ever since. I debated whether to put the link of the picture on here, but for respect of her family, I choose not to. I'm sure my readers can do a simple "gerri santoro" search and come up with enough pictures to satisfy their curiosity. (Warning: it's not pretty.)

This is only one story of one woman who choose to do this terrible act out of desperation. I do not want to hear of more in this time and age.

Let's support life. But let's start trusting the life we already have.