April: Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Thought I would take some time reflecting on one of my favorite months. As most of you may know, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. (SAAM)

My organization, Students For Sexual Consent, planned a whole month filled with events for SAAM.

It started with a 'Survivor Panel'. This is where survivors of sexual as

sault talk about their experiences. They are strong women and I can not even imagine the courage it takes for them to do this.

The 'Survivor Panel' was well attended. Another event we put on was our annual Clothesline Project. This is a National project done through out communities and campuses in the whole country. Survivors of sexual assault make T-shirts as a healing process and each April we display them in a public place to represent the prevalence of sexual assault. I think a lot of people are amazed just how often sexual assault occurs. To find more information, check out the national network website.

Here are some photographs from our project:

The last event that I participated in was 'Denim Day.' I picked up the story off the Denim Day in LA website.

An 18-year old girl is picked up by her married 45-year old driving instructor for her very first lesson. He takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and forcefully rapes her. Threatened with death if she tells anyone, he makes her drive the car home. Later that night she tells her parents, and they help and support her to press charges. The perpetrator gets arrested and is prosecuted. He is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail.

He appeals the sentence. The case makes it’s all the way to the Italian Supreme Court. Within a matter of days the case against the driving instructor is overturned, dismissed, and the perpetrator released. In a statement by the Chief Judge, he argued, “because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans it was no longer rape but consensual sex.”

Enraged by the verdict, within a matter of hours the women in the Italian Parliament launched into immediate action and protested by wearing jeans to work. This call to action motivated and emboldened the California Senate and Assembly to do the same, which in turn spread to Patricia Giggans, Executive Director of Peace Over Violence, and Denim Day in LA was born. The first Denim Day in LA was in April 1999, and has continued every year since.

Here are pictures of our Denim Day which was held this past Wednesday:

Overall, it was a great month and I really think this helped people see that this is an issue to pay attention to. Awareness is only the first step to stopping the problem.

Silence

[Trigger warning]

Words are powerful. But why doesn't any one ever use them?

When people die, we are not afraid to cry. We are not afraid to tell people how angry or upset we are. Some people grieve loudly, full of words and words and words.

When people are violent, we scream. We yell at the highest volume we can reach. We are not afraid of what people may think.

When people receive a diagnosis of cancer, we share our fear. We talk about the 'what if's' or the prognosis. We are not afraid.

When people are harassed or attacked sexually, we shut up. Suddenly, it's like the world is quiet. Victims are told to deal privately, to not bring it up. To not report it because the attacker is going 'though issues.' Isn't the victim going though issues? I mean, the person was attacked, harassed, wronged in more ways than you can imagine. Sometimes they change, so drastically, that everyone around them avoids them. "She's different," they say "weird."

Unless you go through an assault or an experience, you never know how scary it is to say something. And you never know how painful it is not to say anything.

You can't describe the pain you go through everyday. You lose the trust in people, in humanity. You stop believing you are real. You change so that it will never happen to you again. Sometimes, you isolate yourself, refuse to move, to socialize. Maybe you turn to harmful substances, cutting, suicide. Maybe you forget how it is to own your sexual experiences. Maybe you never even had the chance to own them in the first place.

Your closest confidants look at you differently. They treat you like a fragile glass slipper. You want to tell them to stop, to just forget that it ever happened. You want to be normal. You try so hard. You have dreams at night where you are. Where it never happened. But that's the closest you can ever get to being normal.

Sleepless nights, where the dream doesn't come, brings bags of circles under your eyes. You wonder if those nights would go away if you just told someone. You fear that you may lose the only thing that keeps alive, those dreams that keep you normal.

I encourage the survivors I meet to report it, to talk about it, and I don't even follow my own advice. I provide survivors the support I never received in hopes that they can be strong enough to face the fears of talking. I push survivors through recovery treatments, to counseling. I assume every woman I meet has had an sexual experience that was not wanted. I hate that I never tell these women that I've been though it. That it happened to me.

But I stay silent.

(Submitted by a friend)

In the words of a Swarthmore graduate

A woman told Betty Friedan in the 1960s that Friedan later published in "The Feminine Mystique" that her work was 'worth the unhappiness.'

She was one of the rare women in Friedan's book that was creating dreams different from becoming a wife and having children. I related to this statement very much.

Last semester when I was a boring business management major, when my studies did not inspire me to think, at all and when the only thing I looked forward to was my Women's Studies class. I had this one may call it epiphany.

Why should I be unhappy in my personal life and my work? That's not very productive. I remember laying in bed thinking that I was destined to unhappiness.

The epiphany came in Accounting class. As I was sitting there, doing my German homework and half listening to the professor drone on about debits and credits and accounts receivable. I just realized that my life was not meant to be dealing with hard, precise facts and selling or buying stocks. It was not supposed to be spent at an office desk everyday from 9 to 5. I needed something challenging, something that made me feel like I was alive, make me think that I was around to, well, do something.

So I made the decision right then and there that I was just going to go with it. I was going to be a women's studies major. Since then, Friedan interviewee explains the rest so well:

"Your mind begins to expand. You find your own field. And that's a wonderful thing. The love of doing the work and the feeling there's something there and you can trust it."

WS 445 Final Project

I had the chance to do a great project for my women's studies class called 'Women and Computers.'

Part one was about visual aids and activism. Click on the link to check out my prezi. I published the videos in my blog before, here and here. I found that there was no research to see how much just how visual aids effect activist causes, but I did a good job trying to see what the effect would be.

Part two was about visuals about -isms. I wanted to see what google images turned up for the words I choose. Were they accurate representations? Sometimes. But sometimes it wasn't. Check it out. I was orginally inspired to do this part of the presentation, by "What does feminism look like?"

Happy Exploring.

Movies && Pregnancy

I am moving away from porn today and on to 'real' hollywood movies.

I have been using my mom's netflix account to watch movies lately. (Thanks, Mom!) I've been watching a few movies that have to deal with woman and their reproductive system. In other words, these women are normally preggo. Since some women choose to have children, I thought this would be interesting to share what I thought of these movies in a slightly feminist perspective.

Baby on Board
I started with a movie called "Baby on Board". I know, I know, I should have known it was going to be bad from that title, but I wanted to give it a chance. The movie was hands down a waste of my time.

Even though the writers tried to make Heather Graham's character a career woman, she was far from one. She stated she put her career first over her personal life, but the movie showed her constantly having to put her career on the backburner for her husband. Typical.

Her marriage, which was described as "perfect" in the description, was a trainwreck from the beginning. The relationship between her and her husband is immature, not developed and lacks adult communication.(I hated the fact that the husband 'forgot' to put on protection while they were having sexy time. Not cool. Divorce him. )

Frankly, I thought they had spent more time on Graham's hair then the writing of the script. And even though the movie is supposed to be about Graham's characters pregnancy, they spent more time on the husbands law partner extramartial concerns.

The People I've Slept With
I thought I would be more impressed with 'The People I've Slept With' then 'Baby On Board' and although it was a 'more feminist movie'. I do have some concerns.

The main character is Asian American and very independent on her own. When she finds out she is expecting, her decision to keep the baby is because her sister told her 'she's getting old and someday it will be harder to conceive'. She works for an art store and is an aspiring artist.

I didn't understand why she was so concerned with finding a 'husband'. She seemed fine on her own and did not buy in to a lot of the crap her older sister was feeding her. It did not seem to me that her father and sister and friends would let her and her child on their own. Which made me think that her search to find a husband was just a plot for the film. It was unbelievable, so to say.

BUT after you get through the 1950s themed part of the movie, it ended in a feminist, modern way. And it was always focused on her choices and conflicts, not the rest of the people around her.

Women In Trouble
If you want to see women sexualized, degraded and in stereotypical roles and relationships- this is the movie for you. It minimizes woman's issues and leaves most of the issues unresolved. There is a few funny lines in this movie, because most of the women are perceived to be unintelligent. For example: "No one thinks it can happen to them, but anyone could get a Ph.D. Make sure you get tested twice a year."

Barry Munday
The last movie that was about modern day pregnancy was 'Barry Munday'. Although this focused on a man's viewpoint, I think this was the best movie I've seen in a long time. Since it started with Barry getting punished for being a womanizer, I felt like that was an extreme way to forgive Barry's womanzing behaviors.

The movie was really sweet. But it's sad to think that a guy has to lose his 'balls' in order to be a respectful and decent man.

What am I trying to get at in this post?

These movies are about an extremely personal issue that affects women. But yet, you can sense, or know, a male presence in all of these women's lives. And I'm not saying that woman should be selfish and make it all about them, but shouldn't there be more women perspectives about this issue in movies?

I'm just a little sick of watching movies, thinking that they are going to be about real life women and hearing offensive sexist remarks, watching stereotypical characters and finding a male-centered cast. Way to put us women in our place, Hollywood.

Can Porn be Women-Positive?

I hate porn.

I'll admit it. The little porn I have seen had me reeling back in disgust.

Hanging out with my guys friends after our first year of college was interesting because it had seemed they had lost all filters with me. They explored the internet in front of me and laughed at the disgusting porn they came across.

I laughed from what I could see in between my fingers, too. Then I remembered that they were real people and that most of these people were getting hurt.

I don't think erotic images are bad. And I do not think sexualization is necessarily a bad thing.

But I think women who are porn stars or 'escorts' or strippers are doing it wrong.

Yes, you heard me. They are doing 'it' wrong.

It's common fact among scholars that investigate the sex industry that most women in the sex industry may not see a lot of what they earn. Porn stars have agents, Escorts have johns and strippers...well, strippers are stripping in a joint that is usually owned by someone other than them. Most of their money that they earn go to those 'third parties'.

Agents, Johns and Owners of strip clubs are usually men.

So women are selling their bodies to men, to give more money to men.

That doesn't sound very sexually liberating to me.

As I searched for statistics on how much a women in the sex industry makes in a lifetime, I realized that I wouldn't find a lot of results. Sites like this one focused on how much money the 'porn industry' makes overall and who pays for it.

They didn't split up where this profit goes. My guess is that most of the money goes to the producers of these films, not the actresses. My guess is that these producers are mainly men.

My point? Women in the sex industry need to take control. They deserve most of that profit that the porn industry brings in. In order for these career choices to be liberating, they need to be making the majority of the big bucks.

Yes, I'm saying that women need to be the owners of porn companies. Why? Because they are the one being degraded, used, and sexualized on computers and televisions screens across the world.

When I brought this up to my guy friends, they scoffed at me. "Women don't know what a man wants in bed." They told me. I looked at them with disgust, "You're telling me that you've never been satisfied by a women in bed before, now that's kind of sad." Yes, women know what you want in bed, women satisfy you, why can't they take over the porn industry?

I believe that women can use their sexuality to get ahead in life. I believe in choices and that in the right cases, women can be financially stable and fiscally responsible from the porn industry. It's a women's body and her choice to make, but let's make sure it's a good choice to make and that she isn't being cheated.

But let's do this right. Let's make the sexualization of women's body's our choice and to our benefit. That's a fair compromise, if you can't beat them, make money off them.

(Note: I focused on straight porn, I tried to find studies on gay porn because I heard that gay porn is more 'healthy' in the terms of income for the actors, I could not find any. I do not know if the sexualization of gay men is an issue.)

Men On Mondays && The LGBT community

Mondays are the days that I recognized Males that help further the feminist causes. I just wanted to take time to thank the male-identified individuals of the LGBT community.

Before I went to college, I knew of a few homosexual males. I never actually got to know any. From the moment I stepped out of the bus after graduation, I have come across more and more male-identifying individuals from the LGBT community. They have helped me grow as a person and I appreciate all of what these individuals have done for me over the past-almost-two years. (Wink Wink- you know who you are.)

It is really important to help all causes, whether it is in your group or not. I feel that people with different sexualities than myself, different genders than myself should have equal access to healthcare, job opportunities, education, life choices, whatever. This is the same for different races than myself, different ethnicities than myself.

There are people being discriminated against for their sexuality. Whether or not they are a woman, I do not care. I believe in the golden rule and reciprocity. Maybe if I help them, they will help fight for women's issues. At least, in the perfect world, they would support the causes I fight for if I support the causes they fight for.

So here's for the men in the LGBT community who support feminist causes!! Inclusiveness and collaboration is what is going to get our issues heard!

(And a small shout out for the women-identified individuals in the LGBT community, you are heard! You are not forgotten and you are loved! )

The Feminine Mystique

I've read only 100 pages of The Feminine Mystique...

Wow, just WOW.

That's my whole response. This book is way too intense. I'm a hundred pages in and I'm oh my gosh. Wow. Just amazed at this piece of non-fiction literature. I had to stop and update my blog because of the impact of it. Just wow.

Here's what I've concluded about my life in terms of this book:

1. I'm changing my last name. I'm tired of being my fathers daughter. He's a great dad and I love him, but I want to be my own person. My last name is my father's name. Not mine. I chose my grandmothers maiden name Rock, for I hope to be as strong as a rock with out my father. =] Like many women are in the 21st Century. This has been a thought in my brain since probably the day my grandma passed and in no way was this a light decision on my part. Changing my name because of marriage is something I have decided against long before this book, so I do not have to worry about changing it 'in a few years'.

2. Becoming my mother is not a bad thing. I mean, she waited to have my siblings and I, and with that, she did a great job raising us. She's still not done with raising us, either. Of course, there are many things I would do differently with my future children and with my life, but I love her and her good qualities are something I want in my life. She raised me to be a critical thinker and form my own views and opinions. I love her for that.

3. Reading the chapter "The Passionate Journey" really gave me some insight on the label 'feminist' and although I am hesitant to label myself as anything. I believe that becoming a true feminist outweighs the feminist stereotypes. I guess this is my way of saying "I'm a effing feminist, so get over it" to myself. Other people who dislike this new label I am giving myself will have to deal with their feelings about it on their own, it's not my problem.

4. Finally, these 100 pages really took away the guilt I've been having about some of the choices I want to make for my future. The reason why I've been trying to get done with my studies so quickly, and I've been hesitant to admit this to anyone even myself, is to have children sooner and to be financially independent with children. I, in no way, believe that being a mother will be complete fulfillment in my life, but I know that I want to become one. I do not know how but The Feminine Mystique really assured me that these goals for myself were okay to admit.

Well, this was extremely personal and I hope not too personal for you, my readers. I'm sure there will be more about this book when I finally finish it. As for now, enjoy these findings about my life.

Saving the world is a full-time job

As I was running today, I was hit with this total sense of frustration. I feel like I am not doing enough to 'save the world.' Courtney Martin spoke to my campus a few weeks ago and said to count your failures as blessings. I definitely have tried. It's just so hard.

But I agree with her, failures are something. They may not be what you want. You can't always get what you want. Fact of life. And I'd rather fail then do nothing. Doing nothing is, well, nothing.

Back to the frustration, I do not know what triggered this sense of anger but I really wanted to just, ugh, I do not know. CHANGE SOMETHING. And I realized that most of the time instead of changing behaviors, I am enabling them.

Let's face it, people are not going to stop rape jokes when you ask them, too. Even if you are a survivor of sexual assault and you tell them that it triggers memories. Not all people are going to see the sticky floor or glass ceiling that minorities go through in education, in the job market, in their careers---even if you point the facts out every time they call a minority lazy or stupid. People will constantly make fat jokes, they will constantly make sexist jokes, racist jokes, classist jokes, hetereosexist/homophobic jokes---even if you tell them you do not appreciate it.

And I sit there in my classrooms, in my organizations, in my work, at family functions and I wonder, is it worth it to point out that it makes you uncomfortable? that it makes you sick to be around them? Most of the time I say: NO, because it won't change their opinion.

The thing is: I don't care if you think it is funny. I don't care if you don't mean it. It's wrong. It's disrespectful. It's so many things in one statement and action. If you say it, you support it.

But if you don't say something, do you support it? Some people say silence is worse then doing the crime.

About two weeks ago, I was waiting outside for a taxi at a hotel and there was a family walking inside. It was about 11 o'clock at night. The dad was not in a good mood that night. He had taken his oldest son (maybe not his son, but either way) away from the 'mom' figure and was screaming at him. I tried not to listen, but it was not positive. I heard threats to this young man's life, I heard insults. It was verbal abuse. No doubt about it. But I just stood there with my date and my sorority sisters pretending it wasn't happening.

I wanted to say something so badly. I couldn't believe I didn't. It makes me so angry about all the injustices I should have done something about. I constantly say "it's not my business" or "it doesn't affect me", and then I don't do anything about it. But when does it affect me? When I am finally a victim? I don't want to be a victim of something that someone could have stopped! Why am I letting others be the victim for me?

Tired of being a bystander and no longer willing to let the little things slide, I'm turning over a new leaf. The thing is, what leaf should I flip over first?

Because....

"we are angry at a society that tells us Girl=dumb. Girl=bad. Girl=weak. "

and

we're gonna try our hardest and our best to change that

and

hope that our daughters and granddaughters

and

sons and grandsons

can live in a world

where they

truly

can

do

and

be

what

they

are

Feminism isn't over.

Women's Contribution to the Internet World

Today in class, I learned about Women's contribution to the web.

I presented on Corvida Raven, and you can find my presentation (prezi format!) here.

I learned a lot about a few people here and there. Do you know a woman co-founded flickr? I didn't. Her name is Caterina Fake.

Another woman we learned about was Beth Kanter, and she is doing so much social justice work it is amazing. More about her here.

There was a few thoughts going through my head while my classmates were presenting. WHY DO WE NOT KNOW ABOUT THESE WOMEN!?!? Why do we only learn about Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill from Myspace?

Well, hello. Those are SOCIAL sites. But the sites that woman normally work on, those sites are trying to change the world. Much like Ory Okolloh who is an exective director of the activist group that developed software to report human rights violations on your cell phones called Ushahidi. That made me feel a little better.

Women may not be getting the media time, but they are making better contributions than say the time eater of facebook!

Changing the World one status at a time.

Lately, I've been wasting my time on Facebook.

Now, before you start going, oh my gosh Hannah, seriously, I hope your grades are okay. I've actually been using Facebook to point out sexist, racists, heterosexists, ageists, -ist remarks.

I'm sure my sister and her friends are rolling their eyes at me right now because it definitely occurs more on their pages than anywhere else. I've been correcting peoples language, their analogies and attempting to point out oppressive sayings and practices. I think the most common correction I make is using the words "retarded and gay", and analogies that show woman as an object.

So, here's the deal: If I ever post something on here(or my Facebook) that is any -ist, you can call me out on it. Not only will I remove the status, I will apologize in public for it.

I don't care who you are, I don't care about your experiences, if you are going to put ignorant thoughts on Facebook, I am going to tell you just how wrong you truly are for doing that. I'm not sorry I'm annoying, it's not wrong of me, just delete my comment or remove me as a friend if you think it is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. (Eventually, if one repeatedly posts a ton of ignorant statuses or links, I 'block' them from showing up on my News Feed, you can only comment with the same person for so long.)

I don't know when this started, but lately, I've been using Facebook as a starting point to critically think about things. If Facebook is used right, we will be able to slowly change the world and end these -isms.

So the next time you see something sexists or racists remarks, call those people out. Tell them that you are offended. There's usually one of two reactions: 1. roll their eyes, and 2. delete their posts out of embarrassment.

Let's use Facebook to end oppression of all.

Don't forget the Boys...?

http://www.achilleseffect.com/

I found this great site, that I think really helps support the issues feminists are trying to change.

A lot of people believe that feminism is for women only and for women issues, but I have found in my studies so far that it does not encompasses just 'women' issues.

Feminism is about:

1. changing the society so that it does not oppress women.

2. tackling the practices that make women oppressed.

Let's look at the first statement, changing society. Does society just affect women? No. It affects everyone in it. So obviously the same society is going to affect the men too. That is why this site is so cool. It shows that feminists can not just look at the women's issues and expect everything to be changed! Feminist also have to change the issues that affect men! Gender stereotypes do not just oppress girls and women, they also hinder men! (Notice, I use hinder and not oppress, men can not be oppressed!)

Let's look at the second statement, tackle the practices that oppress women. I think that is pretty straight forward, women are oppressed, therefore lets stop the practices and other issues that oppress women. First, let's recognize these practices. Second, let's see the context of these practices, let's fully understand. Third, feminists ask "do we have any say to change these practices, how can we do it?"

The common misconception is that feminism is all about women. But it's not all about women, because these issues do affect all. "The Archilles Effect" looks at this and tackles the issues that affect men. Taken from the about section, "The pop culture environment that surrounds boys introduces them to a world where traditionally masculine traits—like toughness, aggression, and stoicism—are highly esteemed and where female influence is all but absent."

It's definitely an interesting site and it is worth a look! And the nice thing is, even though it focuses on masculinities, it looks at gender as a whole too!

(Note: There are several views of feminism. I am looking at the general definition.)

Relationship Advice for BOTH genders

My ex put this "funny" list on his personal Facebook page. Please take a moment or two to skim it before reading my list.

1. First off, women should not conform to your standards to date you. Also not all women date men. If you keep this up, women are going to end up being "better" than you and making more than you, and only use you in the form as a sperm bank. Do you really want that?

2. These are petty, petty issues, that really shouldn't matter to you or her or the happiness of your relationship.

3. I will cut my hair if I damn please. You are not a stylist/fashion police, you even say so in this list. If you don't like our hair short, deal with it. This shouldn't be an argument of why guys don't like to get married. Again, see 2.

4. We're not here to be your calendar. I don't want to remind you time and time again, year after year that my birthday is on December 20th. That's one date you should never forget. Period. We don't expect you to know every date, but we do expect you to know your own. I'm not your secretary, if you have something due for work or school, don't expect me to remind you. (Goes both ways!) Ladies who expect men to remember dates, see #2.

5. That's sad if you can't sympathize with anyone. Are you that cold? No, you have emotions. I know you do. Society has taught you to repress them, and can I say something? If your girlfriend/wife/significant other really loves you, you can cry in front of her and she won't care.

6. We can't trust you to hold your word for more than seven days, alright and you wonder why we 'nag' about you checking out other girls? What doesn't connect in that brain of yours?

7. OOGLING IS NOT GENETIC; IT'S DISRESPECTFUL AND DISGUSTING.

8.Christopher Columbus did need directions. He thought America was India...

9. If our relationship isn't going to be the same as the first two months, expect #3. Refer to #2 for any other issues about this.

10. We will follow these rules, if you do. Most of these go both ways.

Some of the list is funny, but some of it is offensive. Gender roles are not genetic, they are learned. Society teaches women to act a certain way and society teaches men to act a certain way. I perfectly understand a few of these 'rules', so I do follow them. Don't bug a guy during a sports game, ask for what you want, deal with the toilet seat, understanding no one is a mind reader, etc.

Can I point out an obvious flaw in this whole argument? The fact that these guys can not just tell these girls what bugs them, they have to put it online! Every relationship needs communication and it needs to be open and honest on both sides. okay? That isn't a feminist view, that's a human view. And until you learn how to share your feelings, your girlfriend is not going to know what is wrong with it, we're not mind readers either!

And hello??? If you are relying on your girlfriends to be the only one to deal with problems, then you are going to have these petty problems and complaints from them. SUCK IT UP AND WORK FOR THE RELATIONSHIP. If we are dating you, we don't care if you have 'feminine' traits. ha. feminine.

This goes for any relationship, if you aren't willing to talk about the problems, then you aren't ready for the relationship.

It's not that different...

There is too much hate in this world, already, to begin to hate people who just love others.

I started today working on homework for my German Class. For some reason, I started thinking about gay rights. *Gay rights is more than just marriage, but because it seems like people focus only on that, I choose to do so here too. Please remember that gay rights is also the fight to end discrimination of homosexuals in the work place, end hate crimes of homosexuals around the world, and so much more than just marriage rights. *

I find that gay rights really align paralleled to any historical 'equal rights' battle across this nation. Women have not even had the right to vote for 100 years now, it was only 43 years ago yesterday that Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated for his participation in Civil rights. If you believe women voting is a good thing and if you believe that Civil Rights is also a good thing, then what makes gay marriage so different?

Marriage is a personal act. A personal act between two people. Everyone is entitled to their feelings on homosexuality, but when it comes to marriage, I believe no one is entitled to say who marries whom. No one except for the people getting married, now they are really entitled to say something.

Now, I understand the whole religious perspective, I do. But religion and government should not play a role in each other. End of story. Yet- I know that is impossible, since peoples morals and ideals are part of their thinking process. And those morals and ideals usually stem from religious backgrounds. I'm asking people to take a step back, would their God hate people for loving people?

The last thing I ever want anyone to do is to hate others just because of whom they love. If Jane loves Jenny, then who am I to say no? If Bob loves Jim, then what is the matter? As long as both of them are respectful and kind to each other, then it is not a problem to me. It just seems so silly of me to hate someone because of love. It's ironic. And backwards.

Feminism and women's rights advocates fight for gay rights. And should fight for gay rights, not only because some women are lesbians, but because the women's fight has been in the same situation in maybe a different medium, time and time before. We can help their movement, and with that, create our movement, where our people are free to do what they please and where love is treated as such, and not hated.

"You know, we're not so different, you and I. "

Leaving Women's Health up to the Woman.

I was unsure of what to call this post at first. It was at first going to be: why all feminists should be pro-choice. Then I considered: why all women should be pro-choice. Then I even thought to consider: Why EVERYONE should be pro-choice.

Then I thought, it shouldn't be anyone's choice but the woman who makes it. Of course, with any medical procedure, her doctor should have a say, too. And with any decision, a woman may choose to involve the people she loves. But overall, a woman's choice is that. A WOMAN CHOICE.

I don't hate babies. I don't hate kids. There is no 'buts' to those sentences. I love both those things, even babies when they look like blue little aliens. (Side note: If my children don't look like blue little aliens when they are born, I am going to be very disappointed!)

Abortions are a necessary evil. Especially when birth control is costing more than Viagra is. (Look it up, most birth control options are more expensive!) If we had more affordable birth control, or even more accessible education, abortion would not be an option for most people.

That last paragraph is one of my main points through out the abortion debate!! I almost always bring it up!

Moving on, speaking of necessary evils. Sex is also a necessary evil. With out sex, how could one reproduce? I'm a little sarcastic on that one, but I will be the first and the last one to say: that sex with a consensual partner is damn goooooood.

So we can't stop people from having sex. We shouldn't stop women from having abortion. Logical? Right?

Wrong.

Can I get radical feminist here? Men want to control women. They benefit by controlling women. Having a child puts a damper on your education, your career, your finances? Therefore, men can get paid more, men can get a 'better' education and men can be in control. They benefit.

But let's be real, sometimes that is not why people are pro-life. They want to save a human life.

A human life. Frankly, I'm not going in to that whole argument about what is life. I'm not. It's just too complicated and I do not know a lot about biology to fight that.

So we are going to move on...so anyway, I came across this image on my tumblr. It said, "are you pro-choice, then google abortion and click images, are you still anti-life?"

Now there is a few things wrong with that in the first place...I wouldn't trust the images in Google a 100% of the time and I wouldn't want to see what remains from an abortion anyway. I know what happens, I know what goes down there, I can imagine what it looks like, Thank you. An image is worth 1000 words until you learn the context, then it is worth like 100? Critical reasoning....who took the picture? when did they take it? is this actually from an abortion?

What was under the picture was more informing, it talked about the women who made the choice to have an illegal abortion. In other words, the women who lived in the times where Roe v. Wade wasn't around.

They talked about one story in particular. A 28-year-old's woman who choose to have an abortion because she feared for the safety of her life from her husband. Her name was Gerri Santoro. She and her boyfriend attempted an 'at home' abortion because this was before the time of Roe v. Wade

She died and the picture of her death has been floating around supporting the pro-choice movement ever since. I debated whether to put the link of the picture on here, but for respect of her family, I choose not to. I'm sure my readers can do a simple "gerri santoro" search and come up with enough pictures to satisfy their curiosity. (Warning: it's not pretty.)

This is only one story of one woman who choose to do this terrible act out of desperation. I do not want to hear of more in this time and age.

Let's support life. But let's start trusting the life we already have.

Women As Leaders

What I love about being a woman is that I can care.

A lot of people all over the world say that women can not be a excellent leader because women care too much.

I'm sorry if you think I can not be a leader because I care about the people I lead...Wait, what? I can't comprehend why you think me caring is a bad thing?

I don't know about you, but I want to be working for a leader that has my back. That truly cares about my life.

In politics, I am not going to vote for an individual who does not care about the population of people she is going to represent. Even after I changed the pronoun 'he' to a 'she' in the sentence all I could see was a male figure.

The gender of a person does not matter to me in leaders. As long as she has the people she is representing in mind of that time, that's what matters to me. Those people is what should come first to an individual as a leader. Whether those people be employees, populations, students, residents, clients, whatever it doesn't matter.

What I am trying to say is that leaders need to be more like women. They need to care, they need to have emotions and they need to clean up after themselves and others.

If men started being more caring about others and having more emotions, (and yes, the cleaning does help, too) then our world would be a much better place.

There is a reason why feminism has evolved to be inclusive of so many different issues that may or may not relate to women. It's not because we are women trying to find a cause to fight for, it's because we truly care about people. This is cultural feminism at it's finest. This is what makes feminism so alluring to me, because I'm not just fighting for the rights of women, but I am trying to make every individual's world better.

The thing that is just so ironic about this: Women were born to be caring, they learned it. What is more controversial is that some people who state these views are women as well.

But that's a different post.

Miss Representation

This is what I have been thinking about lately. The fact that women can not be intellectual and be famous. Think of Jersey Shore (though I can argue that neither gender is portrayed as smart in that) and the views of Sarah Palin and other political leaders.

I don't want to dumb myself down in order to be heard. That's just stupid. I'm really excited to see this documentary. I can't wait to tell my own story!

Women can be smart and be famous. Women can do what they want to do. Reach for the moon, ladies. It starts with us.

P.S. At 2 minutes I had to stop. That was not a funny joke!