Saving the world is a full-time job

As I was running today, I was hit with this total sense of frustration. I feel like I am not doing enough to 'save the world.' Courtney Martin spoke to my campus a few weeks ago and said to count your failures as blessings. I definitely have tried. It's just so hard.

But I agree with her, failures are something. They may not be what you want. You can't always get what you want. Fact of life. And I'd rather fail then do nothing. Doing nothing is, well, nothing.

Back to the frustration, I do not know what triggered this sense of anger but I really wanted to just, ugh, I do not know. CHANGE SOMETHING. And I realized that most of the time instead of changing behaviors, I am enabling them.

Let's face it, people are not going to stop rape jokes when you ask them, too. Even if you are a survivor of sexual assault and you tell them that it triggers memories. Not all people are going to see the sticky floor or glass ceiling that minorities go through in education, in the job market, in their careers---even if you point the facts out every time they call a minority lazy or stupid. People will constantly make fat jokes, they will constantly make sexist jokes, racist jokes, classist jokes, hetereosexist/homophobic jokes---even if you tell them you do not appreciate it.

And I sit there in my classrooms, in my organizations, in my work, at family functions and I wonder, is it worth it to point out that it makes you uncomfortable? that it makes you sick to be around them? Most of the time I say: NO, because it won't change their opinion.

The thing is: I don't care if you think it is funny. I don't care if you don't mean it. It's wrong. It's disrespectful. It's so many things in one statement and action. If you say it, you support it.

But if you don't say something, do you support it? Some people say silence is worse then doing the crime.

About two weeks ago, I was waiting outside for a taxi at a hotel and there was a family walking inside. It was about 11 o'clock at night. The dad was not in a good mood that night. He had taken his oldest son (maybe not his son, but either way) away from the 'mom' figure and was screaming at him. I tried not to listen, but it was not positive. I heard threats to this young man's life, I heard insults. It was verbal abuse. No doubt about it. But I just stood there with my date and my sorority sisters pretending it wasn't happening.

I wanted to say something so badly. I couldn't believe I didn't. It makes me so angry about all the injustices I should have done something about. I constantly say "it's not my business" or "it doesn't affect me", and then I don't do anything about it. But when does it affect me? When I am finally a victim? I don't want to be a victim of something that someone could have stopped! Why am I letting others be the victim for me?

Tired of being a bystander and no longer willing to let the little things slide, I'm turning over a new leaf. The thing is, what leaf should I flip over first?