Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My NOT Family Friendly Version of Happily Ever After

I find myself more and more desiring the company of gay male companions than those that are straight.

Yes, I will admit it. I'm one of those crazy girls with the gay posse. Not exactly. But I like to think so. I am married to one...in a very platonic but dreamy way. Read on if you wish...but let me warn you, I use technical terms for both a hole and a stick....


Gay male companions are probably the best thing for womankind. If you do not have a gay best friend ladies, seriously, get out an advertisement.

They may refer to our wet, moist thing under my panties as gross and disgusting. Sometimes when the discussion casually moves to the topic of vaginae (which it almost always does), I wish for the entrance of the straight male from the left center stage. However as disturbing as they make vaginae sound, however much defense I put up for my own vagina, I don't mind it.

Because these men are men. They are not friends with me to insert a cylinder object of various sizes in between my legs. No, they are friends with me because they enjoy the company. They are better men, than well, the men I tend to date. My gay men, you know who you are, have seen me though the ends of relationships, through the beginning of ones, they have been sassy to me when they needed to and offered tons of support. (And no, they are not my bras...)

After a string of guys that have done nothing for my self-esteem but lower it. A few relationships that have been considered failures by both parties. A list of 'one-night-stands' and 'hookups' where the guy promises to call, text or message and never does so. A few guys who scared me out of my mind on dates and I hoped these men would never call back. I'll admit it. I'm tired of the lies and the apologies they created to get under my undies.

Straight men are fixated on the desire for my vagina. Not just my vagina, but the insertions of their penis in to my vagina. And I'm putting my foot down, not to frustrate myself sexually, but as a symbolic gesture that I will not stand for the mistreatment. I'm not the kind of girl that wants to force a gay man to turn straight on my account. That's not possible. That would be traumatic to them and not complimentary for me. I know they will always hold some disgust to my lower region. But if I could turn a straight man gay...wait...that kind of defeats the purpose...

"Hannah, there are better guys out there." How I hear that on a regular basis. Prove it. Give me one guy that has chemistry with me that I can hang out with, talk to and possibly have a romantic relationship. One guy that will say friendship first, sex later. Oh your boyfriend, wonderful...[this is the part in the conversation where I am happy for you and bounce around like a giddy school girl that learned she is going to Disneyland]

Right now the only single individuals in my life that fit those requirements have no attraction to my vagina.

Hey, I may not end up happily married to a straight male. Because in my experience, straight males treat me like crap. My life partner may be someone that I don't have sex with. But if s/he treats me right, cares for me, and even puts up with me when I'm crabby...heck that's a keeper.

I'm not giving up on romance. I'm not giving up on relationships. But I fail to see the point when your partner thinks you are only around to look good and give them pleasure. I'll stick with the men who treat me right, I don't need romance to be happy.

Note: This is not written to offend or alarm anyone. This is straight up my experiences from relationships with straight males thus far.

2 comments:

  1. I feel exactly how you feel about straight guys only wanting to date for the sole purpose of sex. I think right now college guys are too immature, and they aren't looking to be in a committed relationship with a girl. I wish there were more guys that actually considered women's feelings, and that women want equality.

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  2. I agree with Sydney about college guys. You still haven't met or known the 2 billion men currently living in this world. All 2 billion men's needs and desires cannot be the same! Different personality and values brings something NEW.

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