Let's start with the girls!

We are know girls are socialized to be more vulnerable than boys.

I as a girl was bullied for my gender, my sexuality and anything else those bullies could find. And I was called a girl for crying about it.

I was ashamed of being a girl and grew up to become ashamed of being a woman. It took many abusive relationships to realize that I didn't need to be a man and didn't need a man to be a productive member of society, to help others. It will just take some time for me to make as much difference as a male in this world. But I hope that someday this isn't so.

Today and the rest of this week Tara Sophia Mohr wants us to blog about The Girl Effect. However, I blogged about this issue in March, so please read:

http://hannahkdeefindsfeminism.blogspot.com/2011/03/starting-with-girls.html

Finally, let's help someone who has low self esteem every day, so we can have healthy productive members of society of both male and female!

The End Starts with YOU.

I decided to take an ethnic studies class my freshman year. Partially because I needed it to fit the requirements of the general educational program and partially because it sounded like fun.

And it was fun. I took Introduction to American Indian Studies and loved it. Then this spring I took up a minor in it. At first, I wanted to use my 'whiteness' in good ways and I stated that I was taking these classes to learn about the cultures of our ethinicities in American. But I also wanted to stop oppression of these groups.

Since I am a women's studies major, I understand that I am oppressed. And until I started taking more ethnic studies classes, I didn't understand how closely I allign myself with people of color. Because most people of color understand that their oppressed. People of my gender...do not.

I think all women understand that they are viewed as inferior of men. But most women can excuse that away, saying that as soon as they get married that her husband will have the privilege they need. (Assume that they are heterosexual, which isn't always the case.) There are the women who do not fit the feminine women example and they are excused as deviant to the gender. If they do not have a slender body, they are labeled as obese, or overweight. Not fitting in to social norms, their are plenty of psychological disorders that they could be diagnosed with. (Remember homosexuality was a disorder in the psychological world until GLB activists won that battle. Being a crossdresser or a transvestite is still a disorder...) These women don't fit so they are given a label so that they are an exception, not a woman. And certaintly they aren't oppressed because they are women. That's not why they are oppressed, they have a disorder!

Okay ladies, you understand you are held inferior, but marrying a man is not going to get you to an equal status. And it is certainly not going to save you from being oppressed. Getting diagnosed with a disorder may not help either.

I recognized that I was oppressed. I am not immune from gender oppression because I'm white, or blonde, or blue eyed. Yes, I have privileges but I am still oppressed.

I try to talk to non-women studies majors about this (and some women's studies majors are not feminists or blooming feminists, so it's hard to talk to them too). I try to find spaces where I can be seen as an equal and not an inferior. And it's hard, because so many women are brainwashed in to thinking that we have the same opportunity as men.

Well ladies, you have a disorder called INTERNALIZED OPPRESSION. Yup, you are oppressed. Not because individuals in your life are oppressing you, but you are.

You are trained to think that you are inferior so you accept the low paying jobs, you do not take the hardest classes at your institutions, you may even act dumb and giggly to get men's attention (and eventually a husband). You may not exactly believe this, but society has taught you to not expect more. You speak up, you get told to shut up. If you are sad, then you get pills. You don't fit the feminine body type, you must get plastic surgery or lose weight for goodness sake.

I'm so tired of women telling me that I need to dumb down/pretty up in order to get a male partner. What if I do not want a partner? "Well you will, eventually."

Uhmmm, right now I don't. So why don't you spend your own time realizing that you have accepted a job that you hate and don't make shit, that your husband controls everything you do, and you have no personal opinion about anything. Because I'd rather be lonely forever, then have a job that I despise, not be able to make my own choices, and not be able to think.

Listen up, Ladies: You have a CHOICE in life. You can accept being degraded and not being a complete person. Or you can be your own person. Your thinking is the biggest obstacle in becoming you. Or lack of thinking...in this case.

Ashamed of Living in this State

I grew up in the greatest state in the United States.

The greatest state until last night, of course.

We think everything is so black and white, democrat and republican, we ignore that their is a lot of grey areas in every issue.

What am I talking about? If you must ask, you should be reading the newspaper.

I'll tell you anyway. Minnesota (my beloved home state) passed an amendment to make marriage between a man and a woman. I can no longer call this my beloved state because I am ashamed of living here. Of being in a state that encourages such definition.

I'm not gonna pretend to know about what is gonna happen. My friends say I can vote no on it in the elections. I will vote no. I will. I will. I will. I don't know much about politics and I vote independent because I see the grey areas in all issues, not the black and white politics. Some say this is a waste of a vote. But I sleep better at not knowing that I didn't vote for the people who make the hateful laws.

I like all people I meet. Yes, I do. In some ways even the most negative encounter I have experienced has made me a better person and I am grateful for that person for helping me become the best person I can be.

And I love my gays. I love my straights. I love my closeted and uncloseted friends.

Here is my video reaction to the amendment. I thought it was suiting that I would have it on my first youtube video. =]

Even after this horrible amendment was passed to the next stage, I still believe that all people are good. Don't get me wrong.

New Perspective

You may call me a hippy or a environmentalist or just another mean name.
But remember I have at least one thing in common with you, I'm a human just like
you. We've both spent our lives feeling the same emotions: anger, fear, joy,
excited, tenderness and sadness. Never forget that despite the difference in our
experiences of life, the differences in our physical appearance, or just
differences in personality, we are of the same race. We will continue to live
together in the same world for generations more and we will learn from each
other. And I see two choices, either we can make peace or we can keep destroying
each other...

This has been rolling around in the back of my head since I started my new classes this week. Hating people is hard work and I'm exhausted.

I will not ask you to defend yourself for your personal choices. I do not care if you choose to eat meat or not. To go to church or not. To drink alcohol or not. To smile or not...

But I know what I choose to do, please do not try to force me to make different decisions on your basis of what you believe.

We can live happily together. I know it. And I know that we can live together despite differences in beliefs or anything else.

It is until people start forcing people to do things a different way from what they normally do when they reach conflict.

These conflicts have been deadly, scary, traumatic and most of all, avoidable.

My new perspective in life: Unless it is harming me or others besides the person doing the behavior, I'm stepping back and letting the choice be made by the person involved. This is not to mean that I do not want to change the injustices in the world anymore, but I am going to reevaluate how exactly I fight those injustices.

So call me a hippy, and environmentalist, a freak of nature.

Just remember that when you give me a label, you also give one to yourself.

Always Yours, Hannah

Summer!

Hey readers,

It's been awhile, but I had finals and closing, so I had no time for updating this thing. Let alone turning on my computer.

It is officially summer for me and you know what that means: more classes.

I am one of the few students that stay on-campus during the summer. I got a job with Reslife, so living here is free! I love school, so classes were a must. I'm taking a variety of classes, which I will be sure to blog about. (I have already finished 3 credits!!!)

I wanted to share about a personal realization I had in the past week. I was showering and I called myself, 'fat'. For the first time in my life, I did a double take.

I'm always saying how everyone is beautiful as themselves. That bodies are beautiful if they take care of it.

And here I am saying that I'm fat.

That's a hypocrite.

So that night, when I got out of the shower, I looked in the mirror and spoke to myself.

Yup, I talk to my reflection...

I told myself that I loved my unnormal toes because I have a second toe as long as my pinky finger. I told myself that my ankles were wonderful, especially because they help me run 9 minute miles. That my calves were smooth and toned. That my thighs were thin(ish). That my hips were big, but helped my butt look smaller. That my stomach was flat, my boobs were full, my chest was beautiful, my arms were thin. That my lips were kissable....you get the point.

And my point? It was all true.

I challenge you to stop talking about your body in negative ways. Instead of saying I need to lose 5 pounds to get rid of my thunder thighs, I would say, damn, I am so glad my thighs help me get to class on time.

No, really. I'm serious.

Because this is the thing for me. If someone kept telling me how horrible I looked, how bad I looked, I would not do anything. I wouldn't go outside, go to work. Nothing.

My body needs to be treated correctly. Otherwise it will stop working.

That's not completely true, but the logic works in my head.

Also, what I have been doing is just trying to remove the negative parts of what I see in people.

Instead of a heavy-set person, I see a woman with gorgeous eyes...or great boobs...or pretty lips...or...you know?

I figure that we already have the media and supermodel pressuring us. Why do we need ourselves being negative as well?

Take care.

And just when I wanted to not male-bash...

This is ridiculous, this girl is having relationship troubles and he brings up the fact that boys are smarter than girls because they won more awards. SO NOT cool. I waited five minutes to cool down before pointing out his sexist remark.

Yes, guys have won more awards, some guys have won all of the awards, but that does not mean that "boys are not dumb". She was obviously talking about her boyfriend, not classwork, science, nor awards.

Obviously the science industry is male dominated so this is going to be more male winners. OHMGEEE. DUH!

And on the funny note, I really had to tone down my reaction to this. But seriously, I never thought I would get so mad at someone that I don't know on facebook. I was shaking with Anger. He is calling woman stupid because of an award!?!?!?!?!?! That doesn't mean anything.

Okay, it's out now. But I have so many names I just want to call him....

Update on 2/23: The guy who commented the sexist remark about physics deleted his comment. So the next time you come across a sexist remark, it wouldn't hurt to say something about it!