I'll identify as whatever I please and I click 'none of the above'

Can I give you a little lesson in internet life?

People show what they want you to see. I'm not saying everything is a lie. I'm just saying you do not get all perspectives of someone's life.

An anonymous person commented on my personal blog (the one I do not share with anyone unless they request it or they stalk me hard enough) and stated that some of my beliefs were 'kind of the opposite of feminism'.

Now first of all, I am a blooming feminist. This is a term that I identify with because I do not identify with all kinds of feminism, or one feminism, or I even do not like to state I am feminist because people try telling me I'm not for x, y, z reason.

Now first of all, this is a personal blog and although it reflects me, it is not my whole life. I choose to put certain things on there. I do not know why I feel I have a need to share my life with a blog site but it is a great way to keep up with friends I rarely see. And then once I make one, I get addicted and all of a sudden I am blogging about my life.

And I do not know, it struck a chord with me. Somewhere on my cold hearted feminist chest, I got angry and I wanted to grab this anonymous person and ask who they were.

I know who I am, some others may think they know who I am, but I am the only person that can truly know what all is hannahkdee. Just because I choose to write something on facebook, here or my other blog does not mean that's my final say on a matter. I do change my mind. And oh yeah, if I have an opinion on something and I hear another perspective and I agree with that perspective more. I'm changing my opinion. There is nothing wrong with that. It is called being 'open-minded'.

I'm a twenty year old college student. I do not claim to know everything. That would be boring. I like learning, I love it!

This person states that I am not happy being alone, that I am always with a boyfriend, and that I need to find happiness with just myself.

I have at least three blog posts of defense:

http://hannahkdeefindsfeminism.blogspot.com/2011/08/sex-and-single.html

http://hannahkdeefindsfeminism.blogspot.com/2011/07/feminist-romance-equation.html

http://hannahkdeefindsfeminism.blogspot.com/2011/07/my-search-for-dream-sugar-daddyor-not.html

I'm happy with the woman I am. I would still be happy with myself if the relationship were to end. (I would however be sad about the situation, because I do really like him.)

The author of the comment stated that "Find happiness with just yourself. You deserve that."

I'm gonna leave what I think everyone deserves in life, including this author.

If it makes you happy, do it. If it makes you unhappy, don't do it. You deserve to be happy. Get there by finding your own way.

I found mine, not in one person, not in myself, in the many things I am involved in, in my major, in my family, and in my present and future. And I am not gonna lie, my partner does bring me happiness in my life and that is why he is staying in my life.

(And oh yeah, the human emotions is a complex thing. And it's funny because if you think about it, have you ever been 100% truly happy at a given moment? I haven't. Yes I am happy but I still have a lot of other things on my mind that is going to take some of my brainpower and emotions...)

What leads girls to murder...

I always know better than to click on a pop song. But I do it anyway.

I found this little gem, if I can call it that, during one of those pop song sessions. It's called "This Little Girl" by a 'little girl' named Cady Groves. I was hoping it would be something like 'this little girl is growing up to a fine young woman' or 'this little girl is going to college'.

But yet again, it's not that. This obviously-autotuned pop song is catchy, but not in a good way.

I think instead of it being called "this little girl" it should be called "this fricking psycho". Because that is exactly what Cady Groves is in this little music video.

It featured Cady as the main character who is trying too hard to get a guy that obviously does not like her (maybe she needs to watch he is just not that in to you to figure out if he is or not) then after their 'date', she watches him from the road in her car. Can you say creepy? It even says "I followed you home, would you be alone?" Then later it says "I know you're creepin"!

Okay, uhm, he is NOT creeping. YOU ARE. It gets scarier, because she states that she is two steps away from murder over and over again. She even sings that she has an alibi...a good one.

I understand 'this little girl' you are hurt. He hurt you. But that doesn't mean you should kill him, he didn't even seem that nice of a guy to begin with. I hate to say this, but....did you not expect this? He didn't even kiss you at the door, he didn't hold your hand, and he didn't make a move on your advances!

Besides for the major psychological disorders this girl has before she started dating this guy, I feel like there is a few things wrong with this song in the first place.

It seems like it is centered on the idea that woman, or girls, only care about their relationships. Which you know, it's great to care about your relationships, but it is not the only thing you care about. More importantly, this little video seems to show that this little girl is all about boys.

It also brings light to the fact that women are all murderers. I'm serious. We are all going to kill men someday, so you better watch out. If we don't get what we want, which is obviously just a man-nothing more-then we are going to kill you.

I lied. I'm not being serious. Women are not murderers. Women are humans and have feelings. Men are also humans and have feelings too. I'm pretty sure that you do not need to tape a guy up to the wall with duct tape to make him see that he hurt you. Men, behind their rock hard masculinity, do have feelings just like women do.

It makes me angry that the only thing that makes women angry is when their man cheats on them. And I know it seems like it is the end of the world, but it is just an end of a relationship...not the world. I wish I could see pop songs about getting an education or standing up for their rights. Women getting angry because of something more important than an end of a relationship, seeing music videos that represent more than just the modern cult of domesticity...

Notice I am using the term women here. Women. Not girls. Men, like the man in this little video, are not going to take you seriously, if you call yourself a girl. Be proud. Call yourself a woman! You get a lot of respect from people!

After this horrible music video, I wanted to find a better song that didn't focus around a man. So thanks for reading, but you should listen to songs like "Not a Pretty Girl" by the WOMAN Ani Difranco.

Or No Doubt and "Just A Girl"... which has similar references of having it 'up to here' because of how society oppresses women like Gwen because of their girlhood (not 'three steps from the edge' because a man cheated on her...)

Fighting for Red WITH Black, Yellow, White.

I can not describe how angry some pictures made me the other day.

I live in a place that is very close to the University of N**** D*****. In fact, I have a few friends that attend that institution.

I have a problem with their mascot. As you know, it is a 'Fighting Sioux'. Now what is a Sioux, that is a name that white settlers gave to the indigenous tribes that lived around that area when America's colonization was happening.

This mascot is at least doubly offensive to me. First of all, the Sioux is not what those tribes choose to call themselves, they are the Lakota or Dakota people. Second of all, Sioux is a french word derived from a word that translates to enemy.

oh wait, it is more than doubly offensive because the title of the mascot also includes the adverb: FIGHTING.

Now if it was just the Sioux, I think I would be less angry about this. If this was halfway across the world, I probably wouldn't lift a finger to type.

But the Lakota and Dakota people are still around, even in that area, there are some. I consider myself European American, and there is no way that I would think it was funny if someone paraded my ethnicity around in a negative 'fighting' way. Even if it was just for fun, it gives some people the wrong impression of where I could have come from and I want people to judge me for how I act or what I do, not the ethnicity I identifies with in past, present or future. Definitely not because some mascot represented it in a sports game.

Now, a few years ago, it went through the process of getting rid of the name and calling them something unoffensive like the rabbits or you know, concrete rocks. (Man can you imagine playing a team called the concrete rocks---now that's intimidating!)

But so far,it hasn't happened. Some say it is because of the arena that they built for millions of dollars and how it had 'fighting Sioux' all over it. It is also controversial because an Indian tribe approved the name.

Now, just because a tribe approved it, doesn't mean they agree with the terminology, maybe they are hoping for publicity time or education of the students about these issues. Maybe they do not want any negative publicity when they do not approve it. because trust me, I can see some angry college kids doing some damage because of that.

It's still not right to me. Every time I see 'fighting Sioux', I think of the devastation that goes in to the Sioux communities and the negative stereotypes that will affect these communities.

And a lot of people ask me why I care--a white American. And it is an easy answer for me.

Because if it weren't because of the Dakota and the Lakota sacrifices to their culture, population and land, as well as every other tribe in the Americas, I would not be here today. And today, I will stand for them for they are part of me, and I am part of them. Tomorrow I hope my children and grandchildren will continue to fight for tribal recognition and individual rights.

Projects I am working on...

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I have been uber busy with life! I really actually wanted to but to come down and type up something sounded exhausting sometimes.

Right now I am currently trying to do very well in school and am taking 15 credits so it's really difficult to take a breather!

I'm working on a few papers that I thought were interest you.

Women of Color-This is a big topic but I am VERY excited to write about what I am learning about in my-surprise-women of color class.

Black Masculinity-Believe it or not, patriarchy harms men, too. I do not think that all men are evil, but some were CREATED to be evil to women. (And some women are evil to men.) I am looking at domestic violence in African American communities and want to connect it to black masculinities. There are more than one victim in those cases.

My book-yep. I am working on a book. I hope to write about the 21st century cult of domesticity and how that affects everyone (and me...), why it is coming back and if it is a good thing. I want to connect it to sexuality some how and have been working on (slowly) researching it.

SO that is my quick update on life right now. I hope everyone is doing well. I hope to write a real post very soon!

Labels: why you do not fit your own identity

I wrote a post awhile aback about labels and how hesitant I was to give myself one of a feminist.

I was also hesitant to give myself the 'in a relationship' and 'girlfriend' label this past month. But I discovered something. With a label, you may have negative consequences but you also may have positive consequences as well.

For example, the moment I admitted that my manfriend was actually my manfriend. It was like something lifted and I could breathe again. And even though I was happy being single, I am still happy in a relationship.

And some labels are hard to get.

I'll explain myself. Some American Indians can not identify or label themselves as American Indians because they do not have enough 'blood' to be considered one by their tribe.

I learned something even worse last night. In a few tribes, if a American Indian woman marries out of that tribe, she is no longer able to receive the benefits of being part of that tribe. (Whether that be land or money or having a say in tribal meetings). In another tribes on the other side of the country, her children would be also be punished. However, if a man marries a women from outside of that tribe, nothing changes.

And the sad thing is, the supreme court approved this for these tribes.

Patriarchy at it's finest. It's like women are less of their ethnicity because of their sex and their gender. And can I tell you something, that makes me completely furious.

Of course, it's none of my business to tell the tribes what they can and can not do. White people have done that for centuries and it's time for the U.S. to let these nations decide their own futures. I believe that is why the Supreme Court approved these policies.

When I looked it up, most of these tribes were matriarchal.  Not in the fact that women lead everything, they didn't. But in the fact that their society was egalitarian. Egalitarian means equal power, or shared power.

But also, the society respected women for their opinions, for their input. When marriages occurred the man would move to the woman's family home and the children would be hers. She would not lose her tribal relations and neither would he, if it was possible.

It's sadly no longer that way for many tribes. Because the entrance of European missionaries and settlers, many tribes adopted European religions and lifestyles, but also the patriarchal society. They lost the ancient tribal languages, their government and so much more.

So, I will be thankful of the labels and identities I can choose to give myself, for some can not give themselves their preferred labels and identities.