Labels: why you do not fit your own identity

I wrote a post awhile aback about labels and how hesitant I was to give myself one of a feminist.

I was also hesitant to give myself the 'in a relationship' and 'girlfriend' label this past month. But I discovered something. With a label, you may have negative consequences but you also may have positive consequences as well.

For example, the moment I admitted that my manfriend was actually my manfriend. It was like something lifted and I could breathe again. And even though I was happy being single, I am still happy in a relationship.

And some labels are hard to get.

I'll explain myself. Some American Indians can not identify or label themselves as American Indians because they do not have enough 'blood' to be considered one by their tribe.

I learned something even worse last night. In a few tribes, if a American Indian woman marries out of that tribe, she is no longer able to receive the benefits of being part of that tribe. (Whether that be land or money or having a say in tribal meetings). In another tribes on the other side of the country, her children would be also be punished. However, if a man marries a women from outside of that tribe, nothing changes.

And the sad thing is, the supreme court approved this for these tribes.

Patriarchy at it's finest. It's like women are less of their ethnicity because of their sex and their gender. And can I tell you something, that makes me completely furious.

Of course, it's none of my business to tell the tribes what they can and can not do. White people have done that for centuries and it's time for the U.S. to let these nations decide their own futures. I believe that is why the Supreme Court approved these policies.

When I looked it up, most of these tribes were matriarchal.  Not in the fact that women lead everything, they didn't. But in the fact that their society was egalitarian. Egalitarian means equal power, or shared power.

But also, the society respected women for their opinions, for their input. When marriages occurred the man would move to the woman's family home and the children would be hers. She would not lose her tribal relations and neither would he, if it was possible.

It's sadly no longer that way for many tribes. Because the entrance of European missionaries and settlers, many tribes adopted European religions and lifestyles, but also the patriarchal society. They lost the ancient tribal languages, their government and so much more.

So, I will be thankful of the labels and identities I can choose to give myself, for some can not give themselves their preferred labels and identities.