This was a question that my English teacher asked us Monday morning .
He had circled identity on the board and we were quiet for a few minutes, when someone stated that she considered identity as "where you see yourself as part of a group".
So who you are compared to everyone else, what group you belong to is part of who you are.
But it is not everything, why do individuals have to even consider their identity as part of a group. Why can't I just be Hannah?
Your name is the most individual part of your identity, it is the only thing that can encompass your whole experience. Sure, I identify as a woman, but that does not mean that every woman has the same experience! Not even every queer white woman who is blonde and grew up in the middle class would have the same experience in life that I have had...
What I am trying to say is that your name is who you are, it is the only thing that can separate yourself from the rest of the world who may be superficially just like you.
So why change it? Whether it is for marriage or for fun, you were born with that name for the reason. It was meant for you. Fate.
I think this is why I get so angry when I see newlyweds change their names. Usually if it is a hyphen I am more understanding (when both partners hyphen their names...thank you very much) but when just the woman changes her last name. I see a deep strip of identity right through her soul. I hurt for her and her children who will never receive a chance to have their mothers part of their identity with them.
Many people argue that it is a tradition they are following when they take their new husbands last name, but lets look at this in a different life. Hasn't it been a tradition to be called their name over and over again for twenty some years (or less/more).
So I am Hannah, and let's stick with that.
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