Cloth Diapering: 3 simple steps!

 I knew I was going to cloth diaper from the beginning. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to. I use natural cloth products for my menstrual cycle, so cloth diapering was the only route for me to go. I received a lot of criticism for choosing to do it and that fueled my campaign to do it even more. I luckily received cloth diapers from my wonderful second mom (Baby Daddy’s mom) and did not have to make the initial investment although it only comes to about $250 that we used for the last six months of his life.

I recently gave in and bought more covers. Offspring #1 is not wetting or pooping his diapers as much so I am not doing the laundry as much. It did suck that I had to do the diapers in a communal laundry machine at our apartment, but we made through it.  I actually had to soak and scrub the diapers to get them clean with our machines. It was a very bad machine!

I use Econombum prefolds and mostly Bububibi covers (with some Bumkin and other randoms). I wanted to share just how easy it is to wash them and make it apart of the routine. When I was searching for how to cloth diapers, it looked really complicated to me. So I wrote this to counteract all this confusing stuff! 

Side note about my system: I don’t believe in laundry day. That gets too overwhelming for us. So I do a little laundry every day, with two days off in between. It only boils down to about five loads a week. Laundry is the first thing I do, I walk downstairs with the dirties, throw them in the wash, and pull up what I have clean from the day before and put it away.

How to Cloth Diaper! 

STEP ONE: Put a cloth diaper on

Fold the prefold, put in the diaper and snap the diaper on the offspring!

STEP TWO: Take a cloth diaper off

Take off the diaper, clean the butt, and put the dirty diaper away. Optional: If offspring has more solid waste, push it in the toilet. Also, putting the clean diaper on.

STEP THREE: Wash cloth diapers

(This is the system that works for me. If it doesn’t work for you, that’s all right. I had to do it completely different in the apartment.)

I put the dirties in, and choose all the extra cold rinse options on my high efficiency washer. Then I push start. I do not add detergent though sometimes I will add apple cider vinegar for an extra clean!  Then when they are done washing, I put them in the dryer!

It’s about as simple as that! J

The easy process of letting worms eat our garbage!

When my baby daddy and I started dating he talked about composting indoors when we graduated from college. I was like “yeah right on! That’s awesome!” Then he mentioned it would be with worms….

“I don’t want to know about worms in my house. Yuck! You can do it, but I don’t want to think about that.”

So, with my hesitant but kind support, Baby Daddy ended up composting when we moved in together. And our trash has reduced considerably. We might even be trash free soon and that would be a dream come true. The worms aren’t fishing worms, like I originally thought. At first we had a few fruit flies issues in the apartment, but that only lasted a week or two. I think that was the only downside to doing this project.  Once Baby Daddy realized that he wasn’t burying the food deep enough in the compost the problem went away! It hasn’t returned. Our place doesn’t smell like rotting food and we can easily “hide” our compost in a closet or the basement if need be! Not to mention with the extra dirt that the compost makes our houseplants are thriving!

I decided to go through a few of our steps on how to compost to show how easy it is! It wasn't with out help from Baby Daddy since usually I am just the enjoyer of our wonderful house plants. You can purchase the book for more concise directions or comment on this post with questions and I will try to answer them for you! 

Sometimes, drilling is fun!

First, prepare a “habitat” for the worms to come home to. What we did was get a plastic tub from our local target with two lids! Then we drilled a few holes in it. Baby Daddy got drill happy at this step and drilled way too many holes in it, so we ended up covering it up with electrical tape.

You can you use a wood container if you are okay with a little more odor in your home; we will definitely be moving to a wood container eventually.

Our Worm's Habitat!

Then you fill the container with cut up damp cardboard, some garden dirt, and some leftover food scraps. We started with two plastic walmart bags of finely shredded cardboard, two cups of dirt and two weeks worth of food scraps. Your food scraps can be basically anything, but not dairy or meat products! At first, we “finely” shredded our cardboard, but we found out that it didn’t need to be that small of pieces. We ripped up cardboard for months before this project started to prepare!

our worms arrived!

After two to three weeks of checking on it weekly and stirring it, it was time to add the worms. We got the pound of worms from redwormcomposting.com. We did have an issue with our first order but it was resolved in a kind and friendly matter, and because of that wonderful customer service this site is definitely recommended!  You just sprinkle the worms on top and put them under a light so they can nestle in to their new home.  Then you put the lid on until the next day!

spreading out the worms!

For the first week or two, check on your worm habitat once a day to check for signs of problems. If there is a problem, a large amount of the worms will be trying to escape by running up the walls. It is normal for a few of them to do that. We did not have an issue. A few problems that the worms could be hinting at: they could be out of food, they could not like the food (introduce onion and citrus food slowly to avoid this problem), or the moisture could be wrong.

Since there was not a problem for us, our compost was ready! We only add scraps once a week (we have a container in the kitchen for leftover scraps!) and Baby Daddy only needs to stir it once a month! If we notice the cardboard is low, we add more cardboard cutups.

After awhile, we noticed that there were two to three inches of worm poop at the bottom. Do not be alarmed. Worm poop is dirt! That’s when we cleaned it out! Baby Daddy recommends doing this part on a quarterly basis.

Look at all that new dirt!

We put the dirt in the middle of the floor. Yes, we did this in the kitchen. After a few hours of spreading the mound out to separate the worms, we then added the worms to their new home, which was the same habitat as before with new cardboard and new food scraps! Prepare this before separation of the dirt and the worms.

We know have plenty of worm poop (again, it’s just dirt) to put in our house plants and to make “tea” to water our plants! We even got two bottles of wine from our neighbor for sharing! 

What every mom needs to know about lactation before the baby arrives!

There were a few things that I thought momma’s should know about lactation and I’m not talking about just breastfeeding problems, I’m talking about making milk!!! As an exclusive pumper for seven months, I am no genius but I do have a good amount of experience now! Plus, with a few hints from other moms, I have created a list of a must know for lactation.

1. Milk doesn’t just magically appear after you have the baby. You aren’t a milk-making machine right after birth. Don’t be alarmed if you milk doesn’t come out in “spurts” after the baby is born, it won’t! It also doesn’t come natural to every mom and every baby. So, do not be afraid to ask for help.

2. On my fourth day of pumping, my boobs got extremely hard. It hurt. They were rock hard and tender to the touch.  It honestly was one of the most painful things I experienced. (This is called engorgement people! And it is no easy task!)

3. Your milk just doesn’t come out of one hole in the nipple. It comes out of several. Nipples often look beat up at first, too. Mine were bruised a lot!

4. Breastmilk tastes like sugar water. Honestly, I know why I preferred juice over cow’s milk as a toddler. Going from breastmilk to cow’s milk would be rough for anyone used to the sweet goodness from our mama’s!

5. Not all lactation consultations are the same. The lactation consultant at the hospital was no help to us, neither was the one through the WIC office. If you are having trouble producing milk or breastfeeding, do not let them dismiss your troubles. Find a new lactation consultant, stat! Even if you have to pay, a lactation consultant that does not ignore your problems and helps you find a solution is priceless!  
(Note: some mom's swear by LLL, so if you have a group near you, go to meetings before having the baby to find a leader!)

6. It’s not completely free. There are accessories to breastfeeding.  Nipple shields, Lact Aid’s, and pumps to name a few.  Not to mention you still eat like a cow!!!! Well, I did.

7. Read up on breastfeeding issues online before the baby comes. If breastfeeding is a goal for you, you NEED to know about all the issues. I assumed that if I was motivated enough that I would be able to breastfeed! I took the classes, I knew that I needed to have a drugless birth and I thought I would be set with skin to skin time. I was wrong. A few things to read up on to be prepared:

                        -tongue ties and lip ties
                        -inverted nipples (if you have them, be prepared!) 

                        -pumping  and hand expression how to’s

                        -herbs and foods that may help boost supply

-healthy newborn eating habits (wet and poopy diapers, and how much they really need to nurse in each stage of life!)          

                        -introducing the bottle and what kind of formula

                        -basic “booby” traps!

                        -the hospital/birth center policies on feeding babies

9. Prepare to be an advocate for yourself and your child. As soon as your baby is born, YOU are in charge. If you want to breastfeed, say so! If you want to formula feed, say so!

10. Breastmilk is different every feeding! As a pumper I can see my breastmilk; if you are breastfeeding you may not know that your milk comes in several colors and sometimes comes with blood! From blue to creamy white to yellow to red! (This causes your babies poop to differ in colors and consistency as well! Although please do not ignore bloody stools in your baby!)

Finally, lactation is a learning process! Even at seven months I am learning new things every day! The links I included are just starting points for you. 

When feminism can not help...

With feminism, comes choices. A lot of people believe that feminism is a bunch of man-hating lesbians complaining about life. And maybe, some of it is that.

For me, feminism means the choice to do what you want with out judgement. Our society is created in a way that creates women to be weak and mindless. When a women is not weak and mindless, she is less of a women. I know a lot of my readers do not believe in this structure.

I encountered myself believing in some of this structure through out my beginning of motherhood. Not the weak and mindless belief, but the belief that all mothers should breastfeed. I am sure most of you have heard that "breast is best". You know, breastfeeding is better for the baby and the mother. There is scientific proof that medically, it is better for them.

However, society doesn't leave room for exceptions. You see, I wanted to breastfeed. I was going to school full time and work full time and there was no way that I was gonna leave my son and not have this way to bond with him afterwards. I wanted him to know who his mother is. Sadly, I wanted to finally be able to "use" my god given boobs for what they were given to me for.

I researched everything. I went to the labor classes. I wanted to do everything right to set me up for breastfeeding. I was upset when I had to schedule my labor. Induction sometimes leads to the inability to breastfeed. However, the doctor ended up breaking my water instead of giving me medications to start contractions. So I thought my relationship with breastfeeding would not be affected for that reason.

My labor and delivery took 5 and a half hours. I was not exhausted at the end of it. I was revived and ready to start breastfeeding. I withheld the urge to depend on pain medications to not have the reminder of the contractions getting closer together and the birth of my son coming closer and closer. Pain medications sometimes affect the babies ability to latch and feed.

Simon Caleb was born at 1:15pm; he was 5 pounds and 12 ounces. Due to his size, nurses explained to me that he may be too weak to latch, but I tried breast-feeding every time they wanted me to feed him. Also due to his size, they wanted to supplement his attempts of nursing with a bottle. Something that I did not want to do until nursing was well established.

But his health was more important then my attempts at nursing, so I did not let them. The lactation consultant (we had one for a very large hospital) was no help even though I called her to my room 3 or 4 times in my 2 night stay. She just explained that "some babies do not latch and that I needed to pump every three hours to build my supply."

After two weeks of attempting to even get him to latch, he would not. He was already off formula as I was making enough breast milk to feed him. I  decided to cut out the stress and move to exclusive pumping. So every time I fed him, I pumped later. It is exhausting.

People ask me if he is breastfed and I have no idea how to answer. "Uhm kind of...he didn't actually ever latch...BUT he still gets breast milk." Society makes me feel like a failure for not being able to breastfeed. I know other mothers who did not get the chance to breastfeed may feel the same way. Some moms who were able to nurse may feel that women who can't, gave up or they may feel that they were forced to breastfeed because society told them that is what was best.

It really struck a chord with me that I could be so upset with no being able to breastfeed and how society has "pushed"  me to think that it was the only way I could have fed my child. Feminism taught me that society should not speak for my life and how I make my choices. And yet, here I am tears falling as I write this. Still upset that I can not whip out a boob and feed my son. 

Feminism never told me that sometimes the choice is not yours to make. With motherhood, sometimes feminism can only tell you to do what you feel is right. For me, that was to give my son milk that I made because he decided he didn't want to breastfeed. For other mothers, it may be to give their child formula. For other mothers, it may be both.

Society has made me feel guilty that I was not able to breastfeed. Well screw you society. You are not the one staying up even longer than when my son needs to eat to make him his milk. You are not the one paying for his diapers, his insurance, driving him to his doctors appointments or watching him grow. You may make generalized statements about what is best and you may have scientific truths to back you up, but you don't know me. You don't know every mother.

You also do not know that I am still making sacrifices to feed my child. I can't wear normal bras, I can't eat spicy foods, I can't go places with out my pump or planning around pumps. You do not know me. You do not know each and every mother and what they have given up in order to meet your demands.

For mothers who nurse, you are feeding your child. As mothers who pump, you are feeding your child. As mothers who buy formula, you are feeding your child. Shouldn't feeding your child be the most important thing, not how to do it?

Finally, not breastfeeding and going through this struggle has made me realize that I am not weak and mindless. I am strong and I have opinions. Well, I kind of knew that already, but this has certainly helped affirm this.

If you are voting "yes", you probably shouldn't have a say. But that's not my right to take away.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you are voting "yes" to the marriage amendment or the voter id amendment, I think you should not be allowed to vote and get married.

Harsh? Yeah. I thought so too. That's why I am voting no to both, even if it means buttmunches like you get a say, too.

Realize that anyway you put it, not letting someone else get married for any reason that YOU can think of is not a good enough reason to stop them from doing so.

Last week or so I wrote a blog for a friend's blog in which I analyzed the other side to marriage amendment kindly. Well, I am sooooo done with being kind about this issue. Partly because stopping someone from getting married isn't nice, so why should I be nice? 

And plus, the whole idea of banning marriage for gays to protect the children is pissing me off right now. It's basically telling me that my partner and I (oh by the way, my partner is a man) can not make good parents because we aren't married. Well, screw that. That's offensive as fuck. Frankly, I know I am not going to make a very good parent because I swear too much or I am a feminist liberal hippy. But not because I am not married. At least choose a better reason then that to protect the children. (For the record, I think gays make better parents than straight people. Because to make babies they can't just find the first guy or girl they see and screw like bunnies. They, usually, have to prepare and be ready.)

And who the heck makes an amendment on defining a relationship anyway? So dumb. Let's worry about the bigger issues in life. You know like homelessness? Education for our children? Why don't we make amendments about those issues or laws or programs or whatever. Stop wasting our time. 

And the voter id amendment. Voter fraud??? Who the fuck made that word up. Seriously, if you steal my vote, I will hunt you down and probably make sure you voted the way I would have. But I am not gonna get too upset. Probably because the likelihood of it going to happen is close to non-existent. If you really want to protect yours and other's votes. Don't put restrictions and useless fees on voting. 

So basically my thoughts are, if you are voting yes to either of these issues, you are a dumbfuck. That's putting it nicely. At least I realize that even though not defining marriage between a man and a woman is not gonna do anything but define a stupid "tradition" that 50% of people will throw the privilege away anyway, I'm doing the right thing. Which is not defining a relationship that should be defined between those two people in the marriage anything. What is next? Are you going to tell me that I'm married because I am in a relationship with my male partner? Oh shut the fuck up, not any of your business what I do and if I call my boyfriend my husband or not. 

But you don't really care because I am not "harming" a child by being gay. I'm harming a child by not being married. And here's the real thing, I'm not trying to take away your rights to vote and get married or practice religion, I'm trying to tell you how dumb you really are. Take my warning and remember this, be lucky they went for the gays first, because when they come for you; I won't be around to protect your rights. I won't have rights. Because I'm one of those weird ones that although I'm in a relationship with a man, if he was a woman, I would still love her too. And I am willing to die or just fight for the rights for others, whether it affects me or not, even if that means I'm protecting you. (Who in turn is calling me a bad mother and telling me if my partner was a female our relationship shouldn't be validated if we wanted it to be.) 

Newsflash: Labor isn't as easy as they say it is...and I'm not talking about the pain either.

You knew it was coming.

A pregnancy blog post. You know, I could have started a new blog called Hannahkdeegetspregnant, but with my pregnancy, I am still finding feminism. And I am discovering a world in which I know little and the only thing that learning about feminism has assisted me in is being okay with either sex that pops out of me and maybe being a better advocate for my medical wishes.

Let me just preface this blog with a little thankful hint to my body. The first 8 months of this pregnancy, my body has had the strength to hold me up, only letting nausea be rare, the stretch marks to be few, the weight gain to be manageable. I have had little to complain about. I was one of the lucky ones.

When I got pregnant, I told myself: I AM NOT BECOMING THE TYPE OF WOMAN THAT COMPLAINS ABOUT THE HOW SHE WANTS THE BABY OUT. Nope, not me. I put that in caps because I truly believed that baby and my body knows best. Believed being the key word.

Then 35 weeks came along...the last week of the 8th month. Baby boy decided to hug my kidney (learned that after all this), and I was in so much pain I went to the hospital thinking: oh my god, my son is dying. For some reason, even though that thought flew though my head I was completely calm until the nurse told me I was dilated and that the "doctors don't stop labor after 35 weeks."

Wait, hold up. I am in labor?!?! I just thought my son was dying. You know the logical part of me would think that being in labor would be better than my future unborn son dying in me. But for some reason, the idea of being in labor scared the shit out of me way more.

Well, they ended up sending me home. They told me to come back when the contractions were worse (which I couldn't even feel because my kidney hurt so bad) and told me not to have sex until week 37. Oh and no nipple stimulation...something you don't really expect to do anyway. At least not me.

Well, I ended up getting to work that day just fine---Shaking off the pain of a baby dry humping my kidney and the thought of possibly being in labor. And then the next day, made it to work fine. Made it through work fine. Made it through the next day fine, too. Still no baby.

Wednesday comes along. I head to the hospital yet again. My contractions (which I have had painlessly and almost for the past month, by the way) were painful and they were coming every three to four minutes. I actually waited to call the hospital for three hours!!! But whatever, they told me to go home and that I "could be" in very early labor.

Well, I was pretty tired of the hospital by then. I thought the medical world was more advanced to tell me that I "might" be in labor or that I could be in "false labor". Why can't they know for sure? Are we too obsessed with finding the cure for some sort of terminal disease that will save millions of peoples lives? (The answer is yes....so thank you doctors.)

But I was also pretty sick of myself. Shouldn't I know? Shouldn't my body be doing what it is supposed to be and telling me when it is actually in labor instead of all this "fake" and "early" crap?

Movies make it out to be this huge dramatic thing where you rush to the hospital and are in total panic. Advocates of natural birth tell you to listen to your body and it will do what it is supposed to. Drug companies tell you the pain is gonna be so bad you are gonna need a needle in your back to deal (but don't worry that you may be paralyzed because of that...) You know what all those things have in common? YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN LABOR.  And you know that in some short and some long time you will have a baby out of you.

So it's not that I really want to have baby boy stop growing in me or baby boy to be early or baby boy to be on my schedule or that I am really sick of the pain of pregnancy. It's just I would like some concrete knowledge on what is the real thing. So yes, for the past three days I turned in to one of the dreaded women who say "I just want this baby out of me." And I felt so guilty.

Then I looked online. It turns out that a lot of people get sent home from the hospital for "not knowing" whether or not you are in labor or not. My body isn't the only one that is dumb. You know, during the childbirth class, they tell you: "oh well the nurses are used to sending people home. Don't feel bad." Well, I still felt bad. In fact, I was mad (I threw a few things when I got home---mostly my clothes in to the hamper) and I wanted a baby out of me so I didn't have to go through the hospital visits again. I actually started believing that I would never have this baby. That he would have to go to school and do things through the womb. My body just didn't work right.

But since reading comment after comment about being sent home, having lots of contractions, I don't feel too angry at myself or my body anymore. I guess I am ready to trust it again--maybe, if it's nice.

I am sure most of you are like...what the fudge this isn't about feminism or pop culture or like any of your other posts. And if you feel like you wasted your time, I am sorry. But the thing is: THEY DON'T TELL YOU THESE KINDS OF THINGS. I actually had to look at several blog posts for a few hours yesterday until I found a group of women that actually got sent home for similar reasons to me. That told me I was gonna be okay. I can make this last month, I will not turn in to a pregnant blob, and I will have this baby. Eventually. Maybe in a month, maybe a little more, maybe less. I might get up everyday wondering, "are these the real contractions?" But it's not because I want the baby out of me.

I just want to know if I'm gonna be a mom today for real or not.

My womanly destiny

What am I here on earth to do?

Surprisingly, my gender has nothing to do with the answer. I just am meant to live and hopefully be happy. Though I realized that if I asked some other people their statements would be quite different(for their lives and mine!!!).

For example, a friend acquaintance old high school buddy someone I knew basically told me that because I am a woman, my destiny in life is to be a loving mother and obedient wife. She gave my "husband" the job of protecting me because I am 'vulnerable' as a woman and basically told me that my only expectation should be being a good mother/wife. So that person was told to "eff off" in nicer terms and later deleted from my Facebook friends list. (I just couldn't get over the fact that someone would tell me what she believes I should do with my life and still be allowed to be my friend...that's not friendly, that's rude.)

Although, I aspire to be a good mother and hopefully a good (read) partner! I have no desire to be just that. I don't think I would be happy or content being just that. I am NOT talking down to stay at home mom's here, or people who are content being an obedient wife. If that is the choice you made and you are happy with it, I am happy for you. Promise. But for my own life, I would rather choose if that is the one for me.

And luckily, thanks to the feminist movement I can choose.

Here are the wonderful things that the past feminists movements help women, men and children do:*

• have a say in our government. Thank you feminists for the right to vote. 
• be our own person. Thank you feminists for helping me be a person and not a piece of property to my father or my husband. 
• fairness in education. Thank you feminists for opening the doors for schooling (which I so love). 
• fairness in sports. Thank you feminists for allowing us the right to enjoy playing sports and have equal access with men to do so. 
• have access and say in their reproductive lives. Thank you feminists for the access of reproductive care, birth control, sexual health education and any other thing that will help us be responsible humans with children. 
• created programs to help victims of so  many types of abuse become survivors. Thank you feminists for working hard for the victims who so often can not speak for themselves. 

So thank you feminism...and no thank you ex-facebook friend for your offer of having me "remember" what I am here on earth for. I'll be in charge of that, thank you. 

*This list is in no way complete or ALL of the work feminists have done in order to protect our lives. But in my life, this is what I benefit from most thanks to feminists. Feel free to add your own.