My womanly destiny

What am I here on earth to do?

Surprisingly, my gender has nothing to do with the answer. I just am meant to live and hopefully be happy. Though I realized that if I asked some other people their statements would be quite different(for their lives and mine!!!).

For example, a friend acquaintance old high school buddy someone I knew basically told me that because I am a woman, my destiny in life is to be a loving mother and obedient wife. She gave my "husband" the job of protecting me because I am 'vulnerable' as a woman and basically told me that my only expectation should be being a good mother/wife. So that person was told to "eff off" in nicer terms and later deleted from my Facebook friends list. (I just couldn't get over the fact that someone would tell me what she believes I should do with my life and still be allowed to be my friend...that's not friendly, that's rude.)

Although, I aspire to be a good mother and hopefully a good (read) partner! I have no desire to be just that. I don't think I would be happy or content being just that. I am NOT talking down to stay at home mom's here, or people who are content being an obedient wife. If that is the choice you made and you are happy with it, I am happy for you. Promise. But for my own life, I would rather choose if that is the one for me.

And luckily, thanks to the feminist movement I can choose.

Here are the wonderful things that the past feminists movements help women, men and children do:*

• have a say in our government. Thank you feminists for the right to vote. 
• be our own person. Thank you feminists for helping me be a person and not a piece of property to my father or my husband. 
• fairness in education. Thank you feminists for opening the doors for schooling (which I so love). 
• fairness in sports. Thank you feminists for allowing us the right to enjoy playing sports and have equal access with men to do so. 
• have access and say in their reproductive lives. Thank you feminists for the access of reproductive care, birth control, sexual health education and any other thing that will help us be responsible humans with children. 
• created programs to help victims of so  many types of abuse become survivors. Thank you feminists for working hard for the victims who so often can not speak for themselves. 

So thank you feminism...and no thank you ex-facebook friend for your offer of having me "remember" what I am here on earth for. I'll be in charge of that, thank you. 

*This list is in no way complete or ALL of the work feminists have done in order to protect our lives. But in my life, this is what I benefit from most thanks to feminists. Feel free to add your own. 

Back from Vacation?: I hope so

I have debated whether I want to start writing in this blog or not again. I do miss getting feedback, but more likely I miss being more politically involved. I am going to try to connect my life experiences with feminism and connect it to the big issues in the U.S. (and the world) today.

What have I been doing for the last few months? Good question. I'll sum it up for you.

• I have been pregnant. Yup, another feminist bringing a child in this world. Don't worry GOP, I'll make sure he has a choice to be on your side. I will try not to make him gay for you. (Sarcasm...how I love thee).
• Working, working, working. I have had a full time job this whole summer. First, I started at an amazing feminist non-profit organization. I loved it there, but I wasn't really good at it. And driving to St. Paul everyday was kind of stressful. Luckily, I received a job at another amazing (though not feminist) non-profit that does pay me a bit more and has better hours for a soon to be mom and grad student.
• Reading. I hope to share what I have learned about the death penalty, Pope Joan, being a mama's boy and well, Stephen King. 
• Moving in to my own place (with my supportive partner) and adopting a kitty with disabilities. 

Getting out of that toxic environment that I lived and worked in was definitely something I needed. I am ready to be successful in graduate school with out the drama of trying to figure out why my life was spiraling so much out of control because of work issues. Luckily, I currently have a very healthy atmosphere at work and at home now, so I feel as though I can once again do what I love....which is to learn and share what I learn. 

So is this the end of the year hiatus? I hope so. 

American Breeders.

I hate to break it to you. But women are only here to breed and sustain the population. Anything that would harm a fetus whether the women is pregnant or not, should be illegal.

Of course, that is not what I believe. But the government in Arizona wants it to be law. Stating that "life" begins at the first day of a women's last menstrual period. Right now, it is just a law to state that abortions should happen "earlier" in pregnancy. But the backlash could be horrendous. I could see alcohol bans on any women that is sexual active and in fertile years, because it could harm the fetus...even though the fetus does not exist yet. I could see women getting "turned down" for insurance, apartments, job opportunities, because they could possibly get pregnant.

I'm scared for the future of the United States. When they even consider bills like Arizona House Bill 2036, it shows the lack of education on long term impact of bills. It's not even the bill that is the problem, it is the backlash that would happen around the country if the bill is passed to women of fertile age.

As a young woman, I have the ability to choose whether or not I want to become a mother. I should have the ability to plan when I get pregnant. Just because I am at an age where I can become pregnant, does not mean that every decision should be faced around the care of my uterus and possible womb for my future children.

Cosmo could be connected to Child Sexual Predators?

There is not a word in my brain that describes the magazine known as Cosmopolitan. If you read this blog AND read Cosmo, you should stop at least one. I'm not trying to lose readers, I am just being blunt. If there is one anti-feminist and anti-women magazine out there, it would be Cosmopolitan.

Trust me, I used to be a reader of Cosmo. I used to eye sweep the articles about makeup, fashion and sex on a regular basis. Then something happened to me, I started realizing how badly I felt about myself after I read them. I remember cutting out pictures of the models and saying "I will look like this!" Even though the model was slightly anorexic and looked nothing like me.

Some women state that Cosmo is the "Women's Bible", but the only thing it really does is tell you how to sex up your boyfriend, husband and male lover. Or tell you how to do the perfect orgasm, which incidentally, includes your man friend. (So essentially the tips are just for straight women!) It also includes interviews of stars who brag about their lifestyle, tell them how great their relationships are and then tell their haters to stop hating because they are ugly. Great.

Sometimes it includes great tips about fitness, but usually does not educate women on the risks of overexercising, anorexia, bulimia or body image issues. Sometimes it has a page or two on social justice issues, but it's usually the latest fab or celebrity issue asking for money. It does not actually give average people the chance to make change unless they donate money.

Finally, what drew me to the pages today was a young women I worked with looking at the "hot meter" of celebrity men. Daniel Radcliffe was at the bottom for what? He decided to share that he prefers his women more natural down there. And you know what Cosmo said about that.....GROSS! That made me step back and say, wait what? That should be considered a good thing?!?! Shaving your pubic area makes you more susceptible to bacteria...it also reminds child predators about children. Think about it when was the last time you saw your area hairless if you don't shave it regularly....pre-puberty right? I'm not saying men who prefer it hairless is a predator but I am saying it has an interesting similarity!

Alright, don't put down your Cosmo yet. Take a look at what messages it gives you before you do. Make a choice, what is Cosmo feeding you? A heterosexual men dominated lifestyle that ignores the real issues faced by women across the world...that's not something that I want to read. If it's what you want to read or you get something different from it, let me know. That's what comments are for.

"People will put their two-cents in"

And what's with that?

Telling people of my plans to live close to plastic and waste free as I can. I get judged and I get told that it can't be done. I then lead them to websites where I prove to them it can be done and on a budget none the less. Still disbelief, still judgement, but I move on.

Now more than ever, I am being told what to do, what to eat and what to use on my body. And you know what? Keep it to yourself. I could handle people calling me weird when I told them I used my eco friendly pads and diva cup. But now? I have much less patience for people who think they "know the right way". I usually lose my patience around the time when people say "good luck with that!" with extreme judgement and obvious sarcasm. Most of these people have not even been in my situation before and therefore, should not be talking.

Frankly, I am pissed. People have even been telling me who to vote for. I am fine with people sharing why they are voting for Republican/Democrat. But I don't like the system we have right now, so I am not voting for either of those candidates. Obviously our government is failing us, and we need to get a different party in office to try and change things. Yes, a different party. Yes that means I am voting independent candidate. Yes, I know they are likely not to win. But that is not the reason I am voting. I am voting for my values and not the likelihood that they will win. Don't put your two cents in on that thank you very much. I know what I am doing with my vote and I am using it.

I am also pissed for people that think that ALL of Obama's life should be scrutinized. He goes on vacation? Suddenly the world is going crazy, he is wasting tax payers dollars!!! (or his....you know...salary he gets for being a president?) His wife is a bitch? He's is a push over. (I do not know if Michelle Obama is a bitch, she does not look like a dog to me, but people have their names for her.)

I'm pissed when people generalize groups of people. Republicans are bigots. Democrats are big money spenders that give out money to people who don't deserve it. Socialists are BAD. Teen moms are whores. Young moms are lazy who just want to be housewives and not go to college/get a job. People on welfare are no good and lazy people using the system. College students don't care. Girls start drama. Gays and Lesbians are sluts. Black people are gangsters. Mexicans are dirty. Cowboys ride horses.

For every generalization you make, I can come up with individuals who fit that description but not the generalization. How about you get to know the person THEN see what that kind of person they are? How about you just get to know the person and not make judgements at all? Or how about you don't share your advice with judgement and criticism and just try to help a person?

Who has the right to tell me what to do? I am my own person. I should have the choice and the option to live my life the way I would like to live it. The way I want to live it. If you have doubts that I will be able to do it, I don't want to hear it. If you have support and helpful tips, let me have it. Don't base your two-cents in criticism of my dreams and beliefs. Don't judge me because that is not the way you would do it yourself.

To make it easier for people who are dumb, I created this visual representation.

Fears but Conquers

I have fears. I know I seem fearless to some, but I do have fears. Yes, I post video blogs to how I respond to hatred and ignorance in the workplace. Yes, I blog about not shaving and using environmental friendly pads and cups for my menstrual cycle. Yes, I am sex-positive and rape-hating. Yes, I talk about feminist issues to anyone who will listen(or who won't) to me on a daily basis. That does not make me fearless.

The biggest thing I worry about is the reality that I might not go out everyday and change people's minds. I might not leave the world a better place when I leave it. That I might do nothing.

And I am not doing nothing, but is the impact being nothing. I haven't been blogging lately, and really it is a mixture of reasons. I have been really busy. Last semester all I felt like I was doing was homework. This semester, I feel overwhelmed with personal issues (the destruction of my cast, the creeper who won't leave me alone, job applications) and Students For Sexual Consent Presidency. All and All, I am doing something. I am hoping that I will change the world while I do this thing.

And changing the world is a full-time job. It also comes with this depressing fact, that I might not accomplish it. Actually, it won't happen. I know it won't. But I do it anyway. I set small goals and go out there to make them happen. I hope that others will learn from it. I hope that I learn from it.

Anyway, today was a good day. I realized that some people will just not support me all the way. Whatever. But I also realized that applying for jobs can and will pay off. I got a potential interview with a very good organization for Women's Rights in the future. So that's looking up for me.

I have a lot of changing happening in my life in the next few months. I hope to keep all my readers-old and new updated on what I am learning.

I feel powerless. I haven't felt this powerless in years.

I found myself in an uncomfortable situation and with the situations I have been going through I was not able to function or be of defense of myself like I normally would. I tried to advocate for myself, to explain the feelings I had, but he was either unwilling to listen or did not understand the feelings I have.

My sense of security is shattered. Some days I have good days, some days I am scared to death to trust anyone around me and shut up faster than a clam. Today was one of those days. I can not begin to articulate how these events have affected my well beings. Sometimes I can concentrate in classes, on homework and can function. Other days I sit there like a zombie barely getting through the day, close to tears if anyone asks how I am.

I want out; I want my power back; I want this all to end. When I think of my cast being destroyed, it destroys a part of me that I worked so hard to build up. A confident young women who does not let anyone use her, that does not let anyone mistreat her. How can they destroy this in one action? It's been three days but it might as well be a lifetime.