Body Language

I use to be the kind of woman that you could always count on being at the gym. And don't get me wrong, I love working out and I enjoy it very much.

But I realized this past year where I was not found at the gym all the time, made me realize that my body is my body. And I kind of, sort of like it. ha! Just kidding, I love my body.

Yes, I am not super fit, but I'm healthy. I realized that I will never have the body I want to have. No matter how hard I try. (Trust me, I tried hard.) My legs are lumpy, my stomach sometimes is a tummy, my calves are over defined, and sometimes I have triple chins. No matter how hard I worked to get my body as defined as my calves, my calves were the only ones picking up the slack.

I don't eat a lot of candy all the time, I like eating, but really don't have an eating problem. I eat when I am hungry and eat what I am hungry for. I could lay off the french fries some more, and I ate a whole bag of Reese's hearts this week because well, I bought it. I don't work out for two hours a day anymore and I am often too tired to run faster or push myself harder. But yet, when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I recognize my flaws, but I am fine with them.

It's weird because I used to be such an avid exerciser, like obsessively avid. And at that time I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. Then one day, I was watching a slide show of the pictures of training for my job this summer and there I was. I didn't even recognize myself. I was far from emaciated, but it was like I was thinner then what I saw in the mirror. I literally didn't exist on the side angle. I thought I was this thick disgusting woman that need to drop a few pounds and get rid of my rolls, but this picture scared me. I remember looking at my friend and saying "I really don't exist do I?"

This changed my habits. I started working out when I felt like it and stopped worrying so much about what I put in my mouth. The past five months of doing this, has made me realize and accept my body for what it is. Perfect. I still get that high after working out and now I stuff my face with food if I really like the food that is given to me. My eating habits are "normal", I eat when I am hungry, whenever that is. I am listening to my body.

I wish more women could accept their body and love their body for what it is. Perfect. I know women who work out constantly, work out until they are literally falling over from exhaustion, that is not right, that is not cool. Your body is not going to treat you right from that treatment.

So final analysis, I love my body and now I am going for a walk to show it that.