Monday, January 30, 2012

Good Intent sometimes does not have good impact

If there is something that disgusts me more is when people "victim blame". Our society is full of that. But something that I haven't realized is that sometimes, victim blaming has good intentions. What do I mean by that?

I certainly do not mean that victim blaming is good. I am not saying that.Victim blaming is bad. And no victim of domestic abuse or sexual assault is never at blame!!! Never!

Here is what I mean. Consider my friends Facebook status for example:
Is at the library, catching up on some silent study time .... and I happen to look over my shoulder and see a man in his late 40's behind me obviously searching and looking at young teenage girl's provocative photo's on facebook.... he had a wedding ring on and a nasty grin on his ugly face. This is where tragic news stories begin little girls! have respect for yourselves and your bodies! because to this perverted piece of slime behind me, your just an object.... as for him: You give me all the more inspiration to pursue my criminal law degree so I can become the prosecutor that puts scum bags like you in prison .... of course me and my big mouth couldn't just express this on here and as he got up to leave i blatantly said "you will reap what you sew" and continued my reading .... lord bless his soul.

Does anyone else see what is wrong with this status? Pay attention to this fragment of this quote:

This is where tragic news stories begin little girls! have respect for yourselves and your bodies! because to this perverted piece of slime behind me, your just an object....

What? Although this friend was obviously not saying that sexual assault is good. In fact, she was saying it was bad. How are we "little girls" supposed to have respect for our bodies when society does not? This fragment is victim blaming, though that is not the intent.

This reminds me of a workshop I attended this January. It was called "35 Dumb Things Well Intended People Say that Widen the Diversity Gap". We discussed issues like this one. Where the person, obviously had good intent, but it came out all wrong. Just because you had good intent, does not mean your statement will have good impact.

Don't victim blame. It is never good. Always remember the person at fault for the crime that happens is the person that perpetrated it.



Thursday, January 12, 2012

That's IT

I'm VERY excited for this next semester.

Because first of all, for one of my classes, I HAVE to blog. Which means I will be informing you all again about feminism and other things I want to rant educationally about. And then secondly, 3 out of the 4 classes I have are going to be interesting, fun, exciting and filled with information for my life.

Expect to see more posts these next few weeks. I am taking less credits, not involved on an E-board and trying to enjoy my last semester of my undergraduate.

I'm taking my Senior Capstone course and am very excited about the work we may do. We were talking about the issues we go through for being a feminist, having feminist ideals and etc. And a lot of us shared instances where we were attacked (don't worry, it was mostly verbal attacks and have not heard of any hospitalizations) for our feminist beliefs.

Wouldn't it be great to have a more confident feminist to call during those times? Or another feminist at all? "Here is what I am feeling; is that okay?" conversation. Suddenly, a mentor program popped in to my head. We need to get the Women's Studies students together at once, regardless of major, minor, interests and year in school and we need to build a community. Many of the women in that class, I wish I knew last year, or the year before, or my whole life. (But mostly my college experience...)

We need to have calling chains, texting lines, regular lunches and dinner together. We need to have a sisterhood, invite our pro-feminist brothers. We need to be supportive of our achievements and share them outloud.

But mostly, we just need to be together more.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Welcome 2012!!!

2011 was great, but difficult. I look forward to 2012.

I plan to be healthier as the last 4 months of 2011, I resulted in unhealthy eating and exercise habits. I am giving up Diet Coke and trying to go chemical free. Remember when I went veggie in March? Well, that was just the beginning. I learned that not only am I a pretty awesome vegetarian but I am a wonderful humanitarian and environmentalist.

Last year, I also started using Lunapad products for my menstrual cycle. At first, I was so excited for my period to come so I could test these products! That I paid for. Now I am a confident Lunapad and Diva Cup user. I advocate for women to talk about this product, to consider it and to make sure that they have considered all their options. Some ladies think it is gross that I would talk openly about "Aunt Flow", but like any taboo in culture, not talking about it could lead to some disastrous results. Like not talking about sexual assault, could in fact, silence the many female and male victims to internalize their pain. That's why we have a Sexual Assault Awareness month across the world, to perhaps give voices to the survivors that need to heal. We go through our period for 3 to 7 days a month, that is around 36 to 84 days A YEAR. That's over a month that we have to put tampons in and take them out, deal with bloody underwear, leaks, and stains, be uncomfortable in plastic pads and most importantly, be reminded that we are WOMEN. So let's forget the grossness and remember that we have to deal with it, no matter how silent we make the issue.

In 2011, I stopped shaving for awhile. And believe me, the hits on that blog post was one of the most! How controversial was that blog post? And if that was controversial how is this, I almost never shave, ever. The last time I shaved my legs was in June and the last time I shaved my armpits was in December. How can a personal choice be controversial? Because beauty is commercialized, reproduced in advertisements and films. Beauty is not a personal choice anymore, I doubt it ever was. But you can still choose to make it one!

My single days closed in late July, when I started dating Seth. But that wasn't until after I explored my single life as a feminist woman. I wrote many pieces in which I gave advice to both sexes, here, and here. I reacted to a pop song about an end of a relationship, here. I also created a beautiful equation about feminist relationships that I hoped my romantic relationships would follow, here. I also looked at relationships that doesn't include a man and a woman, maybe it was a man and a man or a woman and a woman. I looked at what the media made us internalize, what was okay and what wasn't. Being single was fabulous, but I have a wonderful partner now and enjoy being in a relationship just as much (sometimes more) than being single. My romance adventures got a lot of hits in 2011, here.

In 2011, I also started looking for male acquaintances that I would consider feminist. I found a ton of men I knew that could be feminist. Not all men are oppressive, actually most can be supportive. You just have to make sure that communication is open and kind to each other.

2012 is gonna be a great year of blog posts and life. So keep reading!!! :)